Last night I set out for my 9 miler and the good news was that the temps had cooled, but the bad news was that a storm was blowing in. Here in FL, summer also means "rainy season" aka "hurricane season" and storms can brew up very quickly and you haven't seen rain until you've seen tropical rain; however, I wasn't gonna back down from the long run. In the first mile, it drizzled on me, which was fine -- I don't melt -- but then the lightening and thunder started.
Florida is the lightening capitol of the US -- more people get struck by lightening here than in any other state, so there's either lots of electric activity or a lot of people cursing God; I don't know which.
Anyway, at mile 2, I see it -- the wall of rain -- and it's coming for me. Also at mile 2, a blade of lightening serrated the sky right above my head and the thunder that followed was loud enough to make my heart jump into my throat. I turned around right there. Running through rain is one thing, but running in lightening is just idiotic. So I headed home. I got soaked in the torrential rain and I was nervous the whole way home that I would get struck by a bolt of lightening (I occassionally curse God, so I figure one of these days, I have it coming).
I got home after 4 miles, drenched, a little nervous, and disappointed that I had achieved so little. Thus, I resolved that this morning I would exonerate myself by rising early and getting my 3 miler in before work. Well, I did get up, did get out running, but my 3 miles sucked. I even walked for a quarter mile. Seriously, I felt kinda like crying because the two runs had gone so badly. The past few days my energy has been so low, I've been tired, kinda cranky, and mentally mucky, and usually running helps with those kinds of funks, but between the past two runs, running has only contributed to the "mean reds."
I know, I know, "tomorrow's another day" and all that crap. I know I'll lift myself up out of the poopiness and sometime later this week or next I'll have a great run that puts me back on top of the world, but right now I'm disappointed and frustrated and filled with self-doubt. Damn you running! You break my heart sometimes!