2 Miles with Scooter

Saturday was a busy day for me, as I described, I taught in the morning, and then met some friends for lunch and our "free" facial (one friend had dropped her business card and won a free facial for herself and friends, so she invited me along), but the true nature of the facial was to try and get us to buy the products. I just enjoyed the facial, and especially the 10 minute neck, shoulders, and back massage (although, once again the massage therapist said I have unbelievable knots and need regular massages), and I didn't purchase anything.

So, I didn't get home until supper time, but I wanted to get SOME running in before dinner, so I pulled on my running clothes and was about to head out the door when my husband suggested I take Scooter with me. I reluctantly agreed, since running with Scooter can be such a pain, but I leashed him up and we were off!

With Scooter, there's only one speed: full speed ahead. The first tenth of a mile is pure chaos as he jumps and runs in circles and grabs his leash (he gets all tangled up and we have to stop and unwrap the leash from around his body), but then he settles into a beeline down the sidewalk dragging me behind. In the middle, he often slows down to an easy trot and that's when I can run at my own pace, but once we turn around and he knows he's headed for home, it's a sprint to the finish. So, even though we only ran 2 miles, it was a FAST 2 miles. With Scooter, I get my speedwork done!

Saturday

Air conditioner was easily fixed, and it wasn't too costly -- we are now enjoying the comfort of cool, air conditioned air again.

Otherwise, there's not much to report. I am already deviating from my half-marathon running schedule, and instead of running last night, I battled my husband in a 4 hour Risk showdown (I conquered, for the first time ever -- usually my armies fold early in the game and I often times lose in an embarassing manner). And today, I hope to get that run in that I missed yesterday, but I can't guarantee that I will: I have a class to teach until noon and this afternoon, I get to meet some friends for lunch and then trot off for a free facial! After all that, who knows if I'll be up for a run.

Hope everyone else is being a better runner than I!

"I want to quit the gym!"

Whenever I think of canceling my gym membership, I think of that episode of "Friends" where Chandler wants "to quit the gym." But he lacks the gumption to do it, so Ross goes with him, and ends up getting a membership as well. It's just hilarious. Anyway, I figure I'll think on it until the end of the month (and maybe re-watch that episode on DVD for research purposes) -- I've already paid from the 9th of Jan through the 9th of Feb, so why not see how much I use it in the next few weeks? If I'm still not attending, I'll cancel before the next month is automatically withdrawn from my checking account (if you've seen the "Friends" episode, you'll remember that Ross and Chandler decide to cut the gym off "at the source" -- the bank, but they wind up with a joint checking account instead -- really, the antics are priceless on that show).

In other news, our air conditioner went kaput, so that meant it was hot in our condo last night. Thankfully, it rained yesterday, so the air outside was nice and cool when I went for my evening run -- just a short 2 miles. In many places this time of year, it's best to have your house warmer than the outdoors, but it FL, it is almost never desirable. The air people come this afternoon: Cross your fingers that it is the fast, cheap kind of fix and not the expensive, lengthy kind.

Gym Dilemma

So, I can't quite decide if I should keep my gym membership or not, so I thought I'd bring the question to the trusted blogosphere and see what the general consensus is.

I haven't been to the gym in at least four months, maybe five. I hate doing my running on the treadmill -- really, truly, just don't like it -- so I always run outdoors; however, I used to use the gym primarily for classes like spinning and yoga. And while I'd like to return to doing some of that exercise, I don't know if it's worth it to pay a membership and go to a class once a week, or, in my case, once every few months.

And really, yoga can be done at home with DVDs and I have weights at home too -- I do not, however, have a spinning studio (but, I have friends who have a bike in their garage).

Should I keep paying the gym membership? ($34.98 a month) Or, do I cancel it and keep the money all to myself? Help me decide!

Gravity Gets Me Again

Last night, I bypassed a short run in order to go for a walk with my husband and dog (my husband hardly ever wants to go for a walk, so I have to take advantage when I can). We were walking along, having a perfectly nice debate about what color to paint the kitchen, when BAM! I was on the ground.

I slid in some clay-like mud and my feet went out from under me and I was on my butt in the grass (Scooter hovered above me to see if I was alright -- he also took advantage of me at that level to lick me on the mouth). My husband just stood there looking at me with an expression that was both surprised and not-surprised rolled into one.

What can I say? I guess I don't have to be running to fall victim to gravity.

MLK Day

I have the day off today -- thank you Baby Jesus -- and my plan is to celebrate Dr. King by doing nothing all day long because that's my dream.

Yesterday's bowling was loads of fun, but I sucked it up out there on the lanes. And between the beer and the awesome burgers afterward, I was very sleepy by the time we got home: I read for a bit and was asleep by, I swear to you, 8:30 pm! And I didn't get up this morning until 9 am!! I must've been very tired.

Today, like I mentioned, is going to be easy going. I have a 3 mile run scheduled and I'll get to it -- later. For now, I'm gonna chill on the back porch with a delicious cup of coffee and finish reading my book. I love holidays!

Back to a Schedule

Today was my first run since the marathon a week ago. According to Hal Higdon, you can begin running again after a marathon three days after the race, but I wasn't that ambitious. I decided to take a full week off because, well, because I wanted to. I haven't had a full week off of running in a long time, and it was relaxing and rejuvenating to take some time away from near daily running.

I went 3 miles today, nice and slow, and despite the fact that I got rained on a little, it was a good run.

I also planned out a schedule for myself for the next 7 weeks in order to prepare for the next three races I have on my list: the primary race being the half marathon on February 18th. It was nice to enjoy a little time off after the marathon, but it's even nicer being a girl with a plan.

Alrighty, I'm off to a birthday bowling extravaganza this afternoon -- cross your fingers for my game, I haven't played since league ended last August!

You Have to be a Bit C-R-A-Z-Y

...to come off a marathon that you thought would kill you and then turn around and sign up for a half, but that is exactly what I have just done!

I am going to run the A1A half marathon on February 18th here in Ft. Lauderdale, and that means I have 37 days to train for it.

I figure that it's probably easier to come out of the marathon and turn around and train for a half rather than waiting and letting myself return to pre-marathon conditioning before building back up (I'm strong right now! I mean, look at that picture! Have you seen muscles like that before?), but it does feel a little reckless -- and exciting!

As I said in my marathon post, I felt really good at the half point, and I think the half is a great distance, so I want to test it out; plus, it's hard to pass up an opportunity that is literally in your backyard (I think next year, I'd like to run the A1A full marathon, so this also gives me a way of seeing what the event is like -- if I like it, I'll return next year for the full, if I hate it, I won't do it next year).

Right now, it feels really good to have that goal in front of me again!

Does anyone know?

Why, when I click on Running Rabbit's link on my blog, I get redirected to some "knee exercises" page? And the url will start correctly with her address, but then I get sidelined to a place I don't want to be. My link has always functioned properly before, what has happened? Has anyone else tried accessing her page?

RR, are you out there?

*Edit: Read MN Firefly's blog to find RR. That's how I found her.*

*Edit, Edit: I changed my link on the sidebar to reflect RR's new address, so now we can all find her.*

A Fly on the Run

So, I'm always a little paranoid that one day I'm gonna walk into class with my pants unzipped, so I am somewhat obsessive about double checking it, and today my paranoia was not unfounded. I emerged from the bathroom -- not the stall, the bathroom -- did a quick zipper check, and, oops, it was down!

Quickly, I re-zipped and got on my way, but now I am super freaked that I'm gonna walk into a class with my fly down. That would be worse than the time I tripped and fell down in front of a class.

Official Race Results

5 mile: 55:41

10 Mile: 1:54:55

Half: 2:35:40

20 Mile: 4:28:32

Finish: 6:26:14

So, as you can see, I was on track at first -- averaging 11 minute miles, which was about what I was hoping for -- but then, things started to deteriorate. The second half of the marathon took one and a half times longer than the first half, and it's quite clear from the time that what I described at mile 20 was pretty much a break down of all aspects.

Eh, I still finished.

However, this is precisely why I want to do another one sometime later in the year (by then, hopefully, the soreness will have dissipated). I want to do it better.

Resolutions

Now that the Disney Marathon is behind me, it's time to look forward to the year ahead of me in 2007 and decide on some running resolutions. I have lots on my mind for what I'd like to accomplish, but I decided to narrow my goals down to the follow for 2007:

1. Run another marathon. Either one of the following: Chicago, Marine Corps, or Twin Cities. They are all in October, so I can only choose one. I guess I'll just need to look carefully at each and determine which is the best choice for me this year.

2. Run a half marathon. After this marathon, I can see how the half is such an appealing distance. I was feeling great at 13.1 miles: It's a challenging distance, yet not as exhausting as the full marathon, and I think it would be fun to run one. I would like to search for one that takes place in either April or May, so I'll have to look carefully.

3. Improve on my 5K time. The 5K is my most practiced race, and I do enjoy the short distance, but I'd like to better my time. Currently, my PR is 28:28, and even if I shave off 30 seconds, I'd be pleased.

4. Branch out and try some new races. I tend to stick with the same races and distances, but I'd like to try some new distances and locations. Some distances that I'm looking at: 10K, 4 miler, 10 miler, and 5 miler. Dates and locations to be determined.

Lastly, a non-running goal: Return to some other forms of exercise. I love running, I do, but that's all I've been doing for the past 18 weeks. I'd like to return to some spinning classes, some yoga, and weights. Strangely enough, those activities might turn me into a better runner!

I did it!

That's right, my friends, I finished! I was a little slower than I wanted -- finished in 6:30 -- but I finished and that's all I care about!

So, for the report:

Race day started this morning at 2:30 am when I got up and prepared to get ready to be at the start at the assigned 4 am -- it was damn early, but I actually beat my alarm out of bed because I was ready to go. At 6 am, we were all lined up in the appropriate places, the anthem was preformed, and then there were fireworks, and we were off! That first mile was awesome: The adrenline had me fired up and the crowd was wild with excitement. We started near Epcot, so our first miles were through Epcot and it was so cool because it was still dark, but everything was lit up and it was so much fun.

At mile 8, we entered the Magic Kingdom, and I have to say, hands down, that was my favorite part. There wasn't anything that compared to running down "Main Street USA" and through Sleeping Beauty's castle, and the crowd there was amazing. By mile 12, we were headed out of the Magic Kingdom and I was feeling really good, but at about mile 15, I started to wear out, and at 16, I felt exhausted. It was a long road into Animal Kingdom, and it was just past there, at mile 20, when I just wanted to fall into the grass alongside the road and die. Seriously, I know that 20 feels like I'm almost there and I should've been excited, but I had to face the fact that I really wanted to be done, so much so that I really wanted to just quit and have them cart me to the end.

At mile 21, I cried a little bit in pain, frustration, and fear.

My legs hurt so bad that I had to stop and stretch every half a mile; my feet ached, my guts were churning, I was unbelievably hot, and I just felt wiped out:physically, but also mentally and emotionally. Needless to say, the last 10K was mostly a walk effort (and I'm a slow walker). Once we entered MGM, I knew I had it in me to finish, but I was in a lot of pain as we passed through MGM and re-entered Epcot. By that time, I didn't even care about passing through Epcot; I just wanted to cross the finish line and collapse into my husband.

I crossed the finish, and immediately burst into (stiffled) sobs of relief and pride -- I actually did it, I could hardly believe it was true; it was one of the best feelings of my life, and I guess all the pain was made worthwhile by that moment.

I'm home now -- we drove back this afternoon -- and I am incredibly sore: My feet hurt, one toe nail is definitely going to fall off, I have a blister, my knees hurt to bend, and I'm hobbling around like I'm 80. But I did it, I really did do it -- it doesn't quite feel real yet.

Off to See Mickey!

"My bags are packed, I'm ready to go": Did my last run yesterday afternoon, packed my weekend bag, dropped the dog off with some friends, and now we're ready to head to Orlando, but before I go, I want to share some "thanks" for those who helped me get to this point (careful, this is gonna be like an Oscar acceptance speech: sappy and lengthy!). A runner certainly runs alone in many ways, but even someone training alone, like myself, doesn't do this kind of training by herself -- she needs a team of supporters cheering her on. Without mine, I wouldn't be getting ready for such a feat on Sunday.


First off, I'd like to thank my husband -- the unsung hero of my training. The training has taken me away from him physically, mentally, and emotionally: I'm sure he would have preferred that at the end of a work day I would have stayed home with him instead of running out the door to get my run in, but he never said anything; instead, he encouraged me and always asked about the running. I'm also sure he would have preferred countless conversations about something other than running or marathons, yet he never switched the topic when I droned on about both. Running has become a big part of my life over the past 18 months and this marathon has been an even bigger part in the past 4 months, but instead of resenting the time and effort I spend on it, my husband has only supported my interest. I wouldn't be headed to Disney if it weren't for him. Of course, he is the one who's driving.

Secondly, I'd like to thank my friends: All of them here in South Florida, all of them back in MN, and all of them scattered in a few other states! Everyone has taken a keen interest in my 'thon experience and they have continously offered support and encouragement that has been invaluable (some of the guys even so generously offered to have me run to the strip club to pick them up -- ahh, you can't buy friends like that!). And I would especially like to thank Erin, who knew that I was nervous this week and has thus peppered me with emails, calls, and a sushi dinner to help pep me up and encourage me -- she will probably worry enough for the both of us, so maybe I won't need to as much -- thanks Erin!

Third, I'd like to thank my family and my husband's family -- all of whom I know will be thinking of me on Sunday morning and who, I know, love me if I finish or not!

And lastly, a HUGE thanks to my fellow RBFers!! When I started this blog a year and a half ago, I could've never imagined that I would become part of such a tight knit running community! Everyone's advice, suggestions, help, encouragement, humor, and support have made this marathon training, and before that -- all of this running -- so much easier. Even though I've never met any of you in person, I feel like I have a big team of friends out there, so thanks -- it's been invaluable to have you all!

Alright, I think that's it! Thanks again, and I'll report to you on Sunday! Cross your fingers for me!

It May Seem Silly, but...

...now that I have planned my marathon outfit, I feel more prepared.

I would show you a picture of my outift, but either Blogger or my home computer is being a be-atch and I can't seem to load the pic.

Anyway, I am wearing my fav Nike shorts with a Reebok short-sleeved technical shirt which should do its duty and wick away all that sweat, my fav Brooks sports bra (I know, I'm mixing many brands, but I'm not loyal like that), a new pair of Balega socks (I heart them -- they are awesome) and my Brooks shoes, which are relatively new -- bought them about three weeks ago (new enough to be radical, but broken in enough to, hopefully, leave me blister-free).

So, I'm set.

The forecast in Orlando calls for a nice day, so I think these choices will work well.

Gotta go: I need to get my last short run in, and pack the rest of my stuff. I'll leave you with a short post tomorrow and then I'm off to Disney!!

P.S. I don't pick up my bib and race packet until I get to the Expo, but my race # on my packet info is 6978, not sure if that will be my actual bib # or not, but it bodes well: "69" always an awesome #, and "78" is my birth year, also tubular (yes, I'm trying to bring back Ninja Turtle talk). So, if you are so inclined to track me via the Internet on Sunday, you can use that #.

The Numbers, Some of Them

Days until the marathon: 4.

Hours until the marathon: 86.

Number of training runs left: 2.

Miles left to run in training: 6.

Number of miles to Disney: 180.

Miles to run in the marathon: 26.2

Estimated hours to run marathon: 5 1/2.

Number of miles from Disney back home: 180.

Amount I am freaking out: unmeasurable.

The Warm Air...Ahhh!

I ran yesterday for the first time back in FL and it felt wonderful! The air was so deliciously warm and moist, I could have kissed it. I guess it takes running in a different climate to appreciate the weather I get to enjoy here all year round.

P.S. The marathon dreams (or, "nightmares"?) have commenced: So far, I have dreamt that I slept through the marathon, dreamt that I started late, and dreamt that I forgot hair ties and had to run with my hair all over the place. I suspect dreams involving my clothing or shoes are next.

Happy New Year!

This is probably the first new year in many new years where I didn't wake up feeling hungover -- that has to mean something good, right? My husband and I decided to stay home last night and do, well, nothing. We were so exhausted from our trip that we just didn't feel up to a party, so we stayed in and made ourselves snacks for dinner and watched the 4th season of "Scrubs" on DVD (one of my x-mas gifts). I was in bed at 12:01!

I am not making any resolutions as of now; I do have some running goals and resolutions I'd like to add to my list and think about, but right now, I can't think of those, I have to totally focus on Sunday's marathon, which is pretty much consuming my thoughts all the time anyway. Once I get through Sunday, then I can think about future races, times, goals, etc, but for now -- all I can think about is finishing that race. (As a side note: Has everyone read Kristin Armstrong's article in RW about Lance's NYC marathon? I thought it was a great article, and she was the perfect one to write it.)

Okay, so thinking and talking about the marathon leads me to two questions I have for the RBF:

1. What should I wear marathon day? The race begins at 6 am (I have to be at the start gate at 4 am! UGH!) so it will be cool then -- probably in the 50 degree range, but it will get warm -- probably in the 70 degree range and it's FL, so it's always slightly humid, and I will certainly take 5 hours to run the race (and I'm running, and I'm a sweat monkey!). So, I definitely want to wear shorts, but what kind of shirt? And should I start with a sweatshirt or long sleeved shirt? What's your professional opinions?

2. I always run with my MP3 player, but I see many people who, during a race such as this, are not running with music. The Disney stuff says nothing about MP3's being off-limits, and I think I need my tunes! What say you guys? Do you cart the music with you to marathons? Is it kosher to keep the music during the race?

Home Sweet Home

Phew, it was a long trip! There are many stories to tell and share, yet I think I will keep it short and simple:

• Driving 2,000 miles and back again is TOO far (we nicknamed the trip: "The Cuba to Canada Cruisade")! Scooter was very good in the car and he mostly slept (he has sprung back from his injury as if nothing ever happened). As for the states we covered, I can say this: Iowa -- boring, Tenessee and Kentucky -- beautiful, but filled with a few characters from "Deliverance," Illinois -- long, Georgia -- they want to sell you lots of boiled peanuts, and Florida? It feels like the blessed land now!
• We saw, literally, a hundred friends and family members. It was great to see so many people, but I feel like it was a marathon of visiting, eating, drinking, talking, and picture sharing. Every single day was busy with people to see, and it wore me out! But it was also loads of fun (had a little too much fun at my brother's b-day party -- I barfed in his kitchen sink!) and Christmas was great (lots of good loot!).
• I did my running, but failed to get the 20 in like I thought I might. Running in MN was hard for me: It was cold (although, according to Minnesotans, it was like a heat wave at 30 degrees) so the air kinda burned my lungs, it was windy, and there were hills. One day I ran 6 miles into the wind at 30 degrees (probably less with the wind chill) up and down hills; I felt as though I'd run twice that far! I have my last "long" run tomorrow -- 8 miles -- and then it's a few short ones, and the marathon is 7 days from today!! Needless to note, I am starting to get both nervous and excited (mostly nervous).

Well, I have only begun to make a dent in the unpacking and the house looks like a bomb went off, so I'd best get back to it! Hope everyone had a great holiday -- I'll read your resolutions tomorrow.

Renewed

First of all, thanks to everyone for the advice and encouragement lately, it has been a big help. Ever since Thanksgiving, things have felt stressful and strained for me, and the running has definitely taken the back seat to some other things. But today, I feel much improved in mood and I feel like renewing my marathon committment.

I feel so much better today than I have in a week! For one thing, Scooter is MUCH better now -- he got his stitches and shunts out today and he's back to his old self, so that's a HUGE relief to both me and my husband. Secondly, I finished everything with the semester, including the issue with the student who wanted his grade changed -- to have this semester behind me is a blessing; it was busy! Lastly, we have all our stuff ready for our trip to MN, and we leave this afternoon. I have to do some last minute packing and some cleaning (I wouldn't dare to leave a dirty house!) and then we're off at 3 pm.

Changing from the full marathon to the half has crossed my mind, but after carefully thinking about it, I think I have to give the full marathon my best try. I'm going to try and re-do the 20 while we're in MN; otherwise, even if I don't get it done, I have done an 18, 16, 14, 13, etc so I feel I've put in some long distances and have tried to be as consistent as possible, and I'll just have to see what race day brings. I can certainly say, though, that this first marathon experience makes me want to do another marathon just so I can do the training better (generally, I do something wrong the first time, learn from the mistakes and then do it much better another time around), but I have resolved to give Disney my best effort possible! So, I have to think positively about it and shed the self-doubt that has weighed me down lately.

Thanks again for the thoughts and comments: I will be out of town for the next 2 weeks, so posts will be sporadic, if at all. Enjoy your holidays!! And I'll talk to everyone again soon!

The 20 That Didn't Happen

This morning, I started out ready for the 20, nervous, but ready. I got on the road at 5 am, just like I'd planned and was fine, but then my stomach was doing this gurgle-gurgle thing in the first mile. At the end of the second mile it was doing this flip-flop thing that signals breakfast is on its way back up. I stopped, leaned over and waited for the barf, but it didn't come. It's been awhile since barfing and running have gone hand in hand, so this was curious.

I started to trot again but my stomach was seriously icky, and then, as if God agreed, the heavens opened up and it started to rain. At first it was a drizzle, then it was a downpour. I turned around and headed home feeling both naseous and defeated.

Total miles: 4.

I feel like poop about it. All kinds of doubt and uncertainty are clogging my brain right now: Can I do this marathon? Am I capable? What does it mean to miss the 20? I've heard many declare that they were unable to run their 20, but were fine; however, I feel like I've missed so many runs in the course of my training, will I be fine?

Good lord, this week has really raked me over the emotional and mental coals.

4 am

First of all, "thanks" to everyone who responded to the post below; your input was valuable and it looks as though there is overwhelming support to let the grade stand. I also counseled with some fellow instructors and my department chair who all echoed your sentiments, so even though I haven't contacted the student with my decision yet, I do believe I will leave the grade alone and allow him to suffer the consequences.

But back to the running...

As per this post's title, it is currently 4:14 am, ugh. I am planning my 20 miler this morning and I want to get it done first thing, so I plan on leaving home here around 5 (currently, I'm trying to wake up a little -- eating some cereal for pre-run fuel and drinking a cup of coffee to help with the "waking up"). So, why am I doing the 20 today and not this weekend? I had to bump it up in the schedule because we leave for our trip to MN tomorrow, and it will probably take us 2 1/2 or 3 days to get there (we're driving -- taking the Scooter dog with us, who is doing much better, thanks for the concern on his part) and so I won't have an opportunity to accomplish the long run this weekend -- and trust me, I'm not relishing the 3 days in the car after 20, I suspect I will be very sore.

I will fill you guys in later today on how it went; cross your fingers for me -- it's a long way to go!

*6 am edit: The 20 did not "go." I will explain later -- right now, I feel like crawling back into bed, pulling the covers over my head, and re-emerging sometime in the second week of January (after this marathon has passed).*

Survey Says...

Okay, this has nothing to do with running, but I have dilemma and perhaps you guys can help solve it. I have a student who is bothering me to get his grade changed. Here are the facts:

Student profile: Constantly late, often absent, turns in late work, all work was either F or D quality. He is, apparently, very involved in clubs, organizations, and student council, and claims to have been too busy with all of those committments to focus on my class (I'd had a conversation with him mid-term explaining that while it's great to be involved in activities, he's in college for an academic purpose and he'd better get his priorities in order). I gave him a D for the course, which -- trust me -- already felt generous.

His petition: He turned in his last paper after I had already submitted grades (which means it was over a week late); therefore, I didn't fully assess him. He needs a C to pass the course (college requirement for writing courses), but he's not asking for that; he wants a C- or D+ (yes, college has a + and - system) because if he doesn't bring up his GPA, he's out of college (he must be on academic probation).

My stance: He knew through the course of the semester that he was doing poorly, yet I saw no real initiative to improve his grades, his attendance or his tardiness (something that particularly irks me). I think he deserves the D. However, I'm not cold-hearted and I think students do deserve another chance if they are truly deserving or have had some major difficulties in the course of the semester (though, I don't think that being busy with student council is a justified "major difficulty" -- I had a student who was diagnosed with cancer this term and she finished the semester and finished all her work!).

My dilemma: Will standing my ground on his grade cause more problems than it's worth? On the other hand, I do still think of myself as an instructor with integrity (god knows how many more years that will last) and is it fair to change this student's grade when there were other students who worked hard all semester, were on time, were there every time, turned their work in on time? If I'm willing to change a grade willy-nilly, does their hard work count?

These are the troubling questions, my friends. What's the consensus? Do I change his grade from a D to either a D+ or C-? Or do I stand my ground and leave his grade, and subsequently, he will be kicked out of the university?

Feeling Better

It was true: After I showered and took an allergy pill (I was getting all boogery), I felt better. Then, I had a good night's sleep and got to sleep in, so that made me feel better. Plus, Scooter really is improved today -- he's eating, drinking water, and is up walking around some, so that improves my spirits.

I guess every once in awhile, I need a mini-breakdown and now that it has passed, everything I was so burdened with last night feels lighter today.

Blech

Tonight, I feel *blue* or as Holly Golightly would say: "I've got the mean reds."

I've spent the day watching over and worrying about Scooter. It's disheartening to see my dog, who is usually so energetic and boisterous, barely able to sit up. He has no interest in food or water, and it's weird to open the refrigerator and not have him at my heels. The stress and anxiety have taken their toll today, so this evening I decided to make room for a short run -- figuring it would be a good stress reliever, but in the middle of it, I felt overwhelmed with grief.

It's not just about Scooter -- although he is currently the source of my tension -- it's about four months of pent-up emotional, mental, and physical strain and it suddenly feels quite burdensome.

My family, which was previously so dysfunctional I didn't think it could get any less functional, has been experiencing what I only care to call here a "weird" time. ( I could spend about 200 pages talking about my family, but I have spent much effort and have drunk many beers to try and assuage that gaping wound; I don't care to delve into any kind of depth here, sorry.) And to help keep my mind off the drama there, I have buried myself in this semester's work, and for nearly two months there, I was teaching nine classes (five is a full-time schedule, I accepted six as an overload in order to receive some more pay, and then took an additional class at another university two days a week, and then ended up long-term subbing for eight weeks for two other classes) and even once I went back to my "regular" schedule in late October, I still had the original seven classes that I now am ending the term with.

It's hard to express how many papers I have read this semester.

On top of those two burdensome loads, I have been training for this marathon with its dizzying fluctuation of emotional and physical duress. Add to that the holidays, preparation for an upcoming trip, the end of the semester, and now my injured dog, and, well, it's enough to make a girl feel positively sapped. So in the middle of my run this evening, I found myself weeping (and not the good I-feel-better-now crying but the oh-god-I've-opened-flood-gates crying) and I HATE crying. I know it's supposed to make me feel better, but I actually always feel embarrassed and weak and humiliated when I break down in tears (this is why I try my best to hold them in at most costs) even when alone.

Running usually makes me feel better, but right now it feels like one more weight I have to shoulder, and I feel myself straining under so much heaviness.

Logic tells me that I will take a shower and feel better, and then have a good night's sleep and feel better, and then maybe Scooter will be somewhat improved and I'll feel better, but right now, I don't feel good, and "better" feels a long way off.

My Poor Pup

I will spare you the gruesome images that depict his stitches and the shunts the vet had to use in order to help drain the wound -- they're a little grisly and not meant for the general Blogging public.

Here he is, though, looking pitiful in the e-cone so he won't bother his stitches. We took it off when it was apparent that he barely had the strength to stand, let alone lick his stitches. Since coming home, he's mostly been sleeping and shivering, and we have kept vigil over his bed.

Needless to say, I did not run my 14 miles today. Even though I knew my husband could take care of him just as well as I could, I just didn't feel right leaving him. I also thought about going for a shorter run, just to get some running in, but the evening dissolved before me and I was too busy petting him and soothing him.

My heart just aches over his pain. Running will have to wait.

Scooter-mergency

Poor Scooter!

He was injured earlier today at the dog park. As I mentioned in my earlier post this morning, he was gazing at me this morning with a look that said: "Please take me to the park!" So, my husband and I obliged and took him to the park. While there, he was running around, enjoying himself, when he ran into another dog. We don't know exactly what happened -- whether that dog actually bit Scooter or if his teeth just ran into Scooter when Scooter collided with him or what -- but Scooter had a huge gash in his underbelly by his back, right leg. We could see muscle and bone and it was disgusting!

My husband scooped him up and we ran out of the dog park, got in the car and drove straight to the vet, and that's where Scooter is as I type this. He had to be anesthesized (I have no idea if that is spelled right) and they were going to need to stitch on the inside and out. Poor little fella was cut pretty bad and the vet said that it would be a few hours before he would be ready to go home. My husband and I are still pretty worked up and anxious; it was so nerve-wracking that once we handed him over to the vet, we realized we were both shaking.

I think I'm going to take a personal day tomorrow so I can stay home and take care of my pup -- cross your fingers, say a prayer, wish on a star, whatever you do, and send it Scooter's way!

Annual Christmas Party

The home computer has been saved! Thank you Baby Jesus! Viruses have been removed and new anti-viral software has been installed (a note to those out there -- I do NOT reccommend Symantec's Norton: it didn't do anything effective for us) so now everything is back to running like normal, which means I can A.) post from home again, and B.) post pictures again.

So, this is me Friday night -- doing some 12 oz curls (one in each hand for balance -- you don't want one arm getting more muscular than the other). It was our annual Christmas party and Secret Santa exchange with friends, and we had a grand time. Granted, by the end of the night, my husband was wearing the cardboard Bud Light case on his head like a hat, and he broke the host's cooler, but that only means it's a successful gathering! (as long as the host's don't really care for that cooler.)

Both he and I suffered from headaches when we woke yesterday, but because we had nothing planned (for once) we were able to lay around all day and take it easy. Seriously, I didn't even cook yesterday; it was awesome!

Today, on the other hand, I have 14 miles to log and some student papers to grade. And Scooter is buggin' me to go to the dog park (his eyes say: "Mom, please take me to the dog park! I would L-O-V-E to run around for an hour or so."). So, I'd best be off. I'll let you know how the 14 goes!

Are Halos Returnable?

Because I seem to be on an every-other-day good runner pattern. Hopefully I can get my scheduled run in this afternoon, but with the way things have been this week, I can't guarantee I won't choose a nap instead.

Busy, Busy

Heaven can issue me my halo anytime now. After yesterday's stellar performance, I deserve some kind of achievement medal: I finished my x-mas shopping, got all my gifts wrapped, I finished the holiday cards and got them in the mail, I got caught up with class work, was able to get a few tasks done for our upcoming trip, AND: I got five miles in. I didn't take the Garmin along, but the run felt good and I don't need Garmin to tell me that. Today has been busy again (I'm ready for this week to be over), and I'm hoping to get today's run in tonight after my night class. It'll be a late run, but that's the only time today to get to it.

Trying to be Good

Okay, I'll 'fess up: Instead of running last night after class, I came home and watched "Last Holiday" with Queen Latifah. Despite being formulaic and predictable, it was good entertainment for 90 minutes. Sometimes, relaxing feels just as valuable as running; however, I truly can't skip running today. I must be good!

Thanks for the Garmin advice and the encouragement from everyone! I figured out how to reset the timer -- Junebug was right about holding down the "lap/reset" button. I was just pushing it earlier, and it reset the lap but wasn't re-starting the timer, but holding it down was the right move.

I'm still a little sore from Sunday's 18, but I plan on running this evening after I get home. I'm gonna need the stress relief today. It's nearing the end of the semester for me, and the rush of students and their needs is exhausting. I've been like a machine today: reading essays, meeting with students, answering emails and phone calls, and I can't wait to get home, tie up my shoes and free myself from the stress that the end of a term brings with it.

Not to mention the holiday stuff to get done (gift buying/wrapping, writing cards, planning trips); tis the season to be busy!

P.S. It's funny how this marathon has educated so many in my life about running, not just myself. Today, my mom wrote me an email to let me know that she'd been talking to a runner friend who told her about the "wall" at miles 18-20. She wanted me to know about it -- just in case I hadn't heard of it :)

Garmin and Me for 18

I may seem like I'm being a lazy blogger (not blogging for several days) but my home computer is f*d up, so I couldn't post from home over the weekend.

So, there is much to tell; however, I will focus on just the highlight: my 18 miler yesterday.

I took my pal Garmin with me and we set out in the early evening on the longest run so far. The first six miles went well, and even the first nine (my turn around point) felt pretty good, but once I hit ten, I could definitely feel myself slowing and getting tired. At twelve, I felt like I should be done, but I'd been making decent time, so I kept pluggin' away. At thirteen, I hit the "wall." I didn't want to go any farther and my legs were aching; particularly, my right hip was bothering me.

Those last five miles, and especially, the last three were slow. I would walk for a few minutes and then run for a few minutes, then walk for a few minutes. I was so tired in the last mile that I literally wanted to fall into the grass by the side of the road and be done with the whole thing; but, alas, I pressed on until the end.

Final time was just under 4 hours, which is really friggin' slow -- the last six miles took me nearly the same length of time as the first twelve miles (all that walking slowed me down significantly and by the end, every part of my body was aching). And like the sixteen, I was hurting and tired at the end. Plus, I finished with the same mixture of emotions: relief that it was done, pride that I'd finished, but apprehension that the marathon will be even more (another 8 miles!). I'm just crossing my fingers and believing that the crowd, my own adreneline, and the atmosphere of race day will carry me through to the end on marathon day.

Also, for those of you who own a Garmin, a few queries:

Does it count calories correctly? Because I stored my personal info (age, weight, etc), and I assume it calculates more accurately than I do, but for the 18 miles, it said I bured 2340 calories, and I thought that the average person burned about 100 calories per mile. And by "average" I think most calorie burn rates are based on a 150 pound person and if you weigh less, you burn less, right? I weigh about 115, so I figured I was burning far fewer calories, but could Garmin be right?

Secondly, what can interfere with a Garmin's accuracy? It said, for example, that my fastest mile was 1:17, and I KNOW I did not run a one minute mile.

And lastly, aside from deleting past runs, how can I get the timer, etc to reset at zero when beginning a new run?

Thanks for any help! I'm going to hobble (sooo sore!) off now!

Not So Tipsy, But Still Tipsy

Feeling a little better today. I'm at work. Not feeling as woozy, but am still feeling as though I'm swaying. I figure I'll give it another day or two and if the vertigo doesn't go away, I'll see a doctor (my plan of action is usually the following: ignore any problem until it goes away -- generally, it works!). What sucks is that I haven't run in a week, with the cruise and then the cruise-after-effect. Plus, I think that my husband believes I'm making up my after-motion-motion-sickness.

Mal de Debarquement

That's French for "I still feel like I'm on a fucking boat!"

So, we debarked on Monday morning, and I have been experiencing vertigo ever since -- a dizzy sensation like I'm still rocking back and forth on a boat. Yesterday, this feeling gave me the worst headache I've had in months, and today it made me feel nauseous -- I had to hurry home from my office because I thought I was going to barf (literally, there were a few moments while sitting at lights when I thought I was going to have to open the door and heave). I came home this afternooon and lay down for an hour, and that helped the nausea, but I still feel like I'm swaying.

Turning to the Internet for my health info as I always do, I looked up vertigo and motion sickness info. (I've always been very sensitive to motion sickness -- ever since I was a kid, I was barfing in planes, trains, boats, and cars -- I couldn't even ride the merry-go-round and the swings could be iffy. This is also why I prefer not to ride elevators; they not only induce vertigo, but they aggravate my slight claustrophobia -- yes, I'm plagued with several strange neuroses.) Anyway, I came upon this term above which basically means motion sickness after the motion has stopped, and is most common in women after returning from a cruise! Aha!

The crappy part was that it said the symptoms could persist for up to two weeks after disembarking from a cruise ship -- two weeks of feeling like the floor is slanting back and forth? That's not good.

Bahamas, Baby!

Okay, so I think our home computer is totally viral (probably the bird flu) and I'm not able to download pictures right now. So pics from the weekend trip will have to wait, sorry. But I have some time at work today to fill you in on the details via "my words" so I thought I'd do so. If you have only a short time to read the recap, glance at the "short version," but if you have time to read and absorb, read the "long version."

Short version: Trip was fun.

Long version: We boarded the ship on Friday and got right down to the business of eating and drinking. Before we'd left Miami, I was already pretty buzzed from the bucket of beer my husband and I split, which made the emergency drill a little more bearable (really, would we all be that calm and orderly if the ship were sinking? something tells me there would be panic and chaos). After the lifeboat drill, our ship pulled out of port, and my husband and I went to the spa for our scheduled massages.

I had been anticipating that massage for months, and I was practically giddy just thinking about it. The masseuse, however, was not so pleased with the knots she found in my neck and shoulders (every massage I've ever had has been like this: they always tell me I'm a ball of stress and need more regular massages). She spent nearly half her time kneeding out the build up of lactic acid in my neck and shoulders, and I have to be honest, parts of it were just plain painful -- but, she assured me it was entirely necessary. Later, she did spend some time on the rest of my body, and it felt so good to get my legs rubbed down.

When we were done with the massages, we got ready for dinner, but by then, I was really feeling the boat. On our cruise a year ago, I barely felt the boat move, but Friday night, it was swaying back and forth and by the time we were ready for dinner, I was feeling pretty ill. Still, I soldiered on and took some Drammamine and went to dinner. But while we were waiting outside the dining room for our seating, I felt the wave of barf wash over me and I had to dash back to the room and hurl. And that's how I spent the rest of that evening. My husband ended up ordering room service and watching a movie while I spent the night hunched over the toilet in our tiny bathroom.

Thankfully, on Saturday morning I felt better, but was sore from the massage. Our boat wasn't able to dock in Coco Cay because of rocky surf (apparently, the boat couldn't remain anchored), so we spent the day at sea instead, which was fine, since we had fun aboard ship as well. We climbed the rock wall (harder and scarier than I thought it would be), we lay out in the sun (husband got a little burned) and we napped and read. Oh! And I also found a lucky slot machine in the casino and won some dollars! Saturday was our anniversary so we had a nice dinner with champagne and so forth, and it was quite lovely and appropriately romantic.

On Sunday, we docked in Nassau, Bahamas, and we spent the day walking around town. And one of the best parts of the whole trip was some of the shopping. There were the regular tourist shops (t-shirts, postcards, the usual trinkets) and then there were the usual fancy-pants stores (Gucci, Coach, Cartier), but then we found this place called the straw market, which was a city block chock full of designer purses for cheap! At first, I thought they were knock-offs, but after inspecting the insides, and carefully examining the outsides, I concluded that they were indeed real (but maybe fell off a boat? I have no idea!). So, there was every designer you can imagine: Coach, Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Gucci, Prada, Fendi, Kate Spade, I could go on, and they had all varieties of handbags, wallets, and luggage, and it was all priced to sell!

I walked away with two purses and a wallet for myself: a purse for my stepmom, a wallet for my mom, and a purse for my sister-in-law. It was awesome! I was so excited, I was practically shaking! And as excited as I was at the find, I think my husband was even more thrilled (he loves a good deal, even if it's on stuff he doesn't know or care a rat's ass about). After the high of purchasing so many expensive wares for so cheap a price, I was barely conscious of the rest of the day (kidding, it was fun in the sun!).

Yesterday morning, we arrived back in Miami -- to find that someone had backed into my car and knocked the driver's side mirror off, but what can you do? And I had class yesterday afternoon, so it was back to the grindstone right away. It was a good trip, but now I feel as though I need a couple days off just to sleep (you know how you feel like you need a vacation after your vacation?). Oh well, I'll ease back into the swing of things.

Told you this was the long version.

Catch-Up

I have a lot to tell everyone about our trip, yet I also have a lot of work to catch up on, so I don't really have time for a complete post. So, for right now, you'll have to be satisfied knowing that our trip was awesome and we had a lot of fun (I still feel like I'm on the boat -- swaying back and forth -- it's a little nauseating).

Most exciting news: My husband bought me a Garmin Forerunner 205 for our anniversary! (Some women want diamonds, I want gadgets for running.) And I started playing with it, but haven't even begun to understand it yet, nor have I had an opportunity to use it -- I haven't gone running since my turkey trot!

But for now, I must focus my attention on the stack of student papers waiting to be graded; when I get a chance, I will tell you all my stories and post some pictures. Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend; I'll look forward to catching up on the blogs!

Sea Escape

My husband and I depart today on our cruise to the Bahamas. We're celebrating our one year anniversary! It's a short cruise -- to the Bahamas and back -- but it's going to be so nice to get away and relax (massage, here I come!).

So, I will be away from Blogger for the next few days, but when I get back I will reward your patient wait with pictures and stories! Have a good holiday weekend everyone!

Turkey Trot '06

It was cold this morning when I woke up: 44 degrees. Still, I decided to go with shorts for my Turkey Trot, and I wore a long-sleeved t-shirt with a short-sleeved t-shirt over it; however, I was cold pre-race, so I had on a winter vest and my mittens, as shown here, and which prompted the snarky question from my husband: Are mittens really necessary?

Before the start, I handed off the vest and mittens (and dog) to my husband and the only other thing I needed to do before race time was pee -- but I was outta luck. 2,000 racers + 2 ports potties = long line. So I held it. But perhaps it was the secret to my success.

In the first tenth of a mile, I couldn't break away from the crowd, especially irksome were the gaggles of kids -- I know that 5Ks are often family runs, and a turkey trot is especially a family event, but good god, someone needs to teach those kids to get out of the way (I saw one kid running in his soccer cleats; that's just a recipe for a shin splint but I guess kids are all rubbery so he was probably fine) -- but I was able to get out on my own after the start and that was helpful. First mile marker: 9:17 (convinced it could've been an even 9 if not for the beginning crowd). Second mile marker: 18:17 (awesome, right on track). Finishing time: 28:25!

This is a PR for Jess! Fastest time ever! And to compare, it's nearly a full two minutes faster than the 5K I ran in September and it's a full 5 minutes faster than this exact 5K last year! (Of course, when I ran it last year I might've been slightly distracted by the fact that it was the day before my wedding because that was my worst 5K time ever.)

So, the moral of the story? I guess I should hold my pee -- the desire to finish and get to a bathroom apparently makes me fast. That, and the cold weather.

Makin' Ugly Look Pretty

So the manicure/pedicure lady asked if I dropped something on my feet. "No," I told her. "That's from running."

"Running?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm training for a marathon, so I've been running a lot and the repetition often bruises toenails."

She looked confused, but I wasn't sure if it was because of the language barrier or if she just didn't understand why someone would run so much that her toenails would bruise. Anyway, she did her best and they turned out looking much better than they did before and the foot massage felt sooooo good!

Save the Freezing Floridians!

Look at this freezing Floridian! The poor woman doesn't even have a coat (why? I don't know -- does she not own one? did she not turn on the news before heading out? does she not know what 40 degrees means?) These people are not meant to handle such cold weather: It numbs the body and the brain.

And me? Well, even though I grew up in CO and lived in MN for 8 years, these temps come as a shock to the system. It was in the 40s this morning, and for South Florida, that basically means hell has indeed frozen over.

This morning I actually got up early and ran before work (a round of applause, please), but I had to scrounge up some ugly looking running clothes for it: old yoga capris that are a little loose, a t-shirt and an old sweatshirt). People, I have become accustomed to shorts, sports bra, socks, shoes; it's that simple. Part way through the run, I shed the sweatshirt and tied it around my waist, but it sucks running in all those clothes -- I felt bogged down.

Temps are supposed to remain chilly tomorrow and Thursday and then warm back up on Friday, but that poses an interesting dilemma for Thursday's Turkey Trot: what do I wear? I may need to pop into Target and get some kind of running pant/capris and a long-sleeved shirt. Or, should I just go in shorts and t-shirt and count on the fact that I'll get warm during the trotting?

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree!

Ahh, Christmas decorating. Nothing is more relaxing and fun than getting ready for the holidays.

It's Scooter's 1st Christmas, so the tree and the decorations and the wrapping paper are all new to him -- I already lost part of an ornament (let's just say it was a stuffed bear with skis, and now it's just a stuffed bear) -- here he is inspecting the ornaments on the lower branches. He's not sure if we're playing a game by having toys suspended at nose height, or if we're torturing him; it's kinda nerve wracking for a Beagle.

Obviously my hip feels fine now, fine enough to be standing on chairs and decorating. I took some aspirin this morning and stretched as best I could, and as the day progressed, it got looser and felt improved. I think I'll be fine to run tomorrow -- it's supposed to be cold (down into the 40s!) so it really will be like a Winter Wonderland, sans snow. I'll have to dig around for some warm weather running clothes, hmmm, I don't know if I own any of those.


We tried to put Scooter into some reindeer antlers, but he wasn't having any of that. He briefly snuggled my husband as if to say "thanks, but no thanks" and then wrestled out of them. It was cute for about 30 seconds. That's how long "cute" lasts in our house.

Maybe next year for Christmas our house will be finished; of course, that's what we wished for last year as well.

Hip Bone's Connected to the What?

Today I'm walking like an old lady. Particularly, I am sore and achy in my right hip which feels unbelievably tight and painful. When I was walking Scooter this morning, I felt like I was hobbling along. Looked it up in one of my running books (I prefer to self-diagnose) -- could be a mild case of bursitis: tendon rubs against bursa sacs and causes inflammation.

I'm going to ice it some this morning, take some aspirin, and try to stretch it out. I'll see how it feels tomorrow. I've never been this sore after a run before, yet I'm hesitant to run to the orthopedist; besides, he'd just tell me to do the same: ice, aspirin, stretch.

In other news, I slept like crap again last night, which is weird since I was so tired after running and I spent most of the evening laying in bed watching TV, struggling to keep my eyes open. Then, we turned out the light, and I was awake. This time I can't really blame the husband or the dog, I just couldn't keep my mind from racing. I tried getting up and reading for awhile, then I blogged some, then I went to bed -- still nothing. I moved into the guest bedroom to see if location helped; it didn't.

Finally, I went back in the bedroom and must've just been exhausted and then I fell asleep. This morning, I feel like I could sleep all day, but I figure I've got to get up -- if I sleep late, I may have the same problem again this evening.

Sweet Sixteen

My husband and I were dog-sitting today over at a friend's house, so I decided to plot my route from their house instead of from my own. At first, I was planning the normal long route, but then I thought about my friends' neighborhood, with its straightforward grid-like blocks, and then I plotted out what was essentially a track loop that was 1.6 miles.

1.6 X 10 laps = 16 miles

I figured I'd give it a try. The advantage of trying this was that I wouldn't be far in case I had another spill or if I got tired and couldn't finish. Plus, by running by their house in each lap, I had an easy pit stop.

The first 8 miles went really well and I was feeling great, but then in 9 and 10, I started tightening up and feeling tired; also, the track idea was beginning to feel monotonous. In one way, it was mentally advantageous because the distance was broken down into very conceivable, easy distances, but after passing the same stuff for the upteenth time, I was beginning to feel bored. The last 3 laps were hard, and the last lap, the last 1.6 miles, was brutal. It was a one-foot-in-front-of-the-other effort and I had to walk part of it. But I finished. As far as the upper body (i.e. lung capacity, stomach sensitivity), I was feeling just fine. But the lower body (i.e. my hips, knees, ankles, and feet) was stiff and sore by the end. My right hip and left knee were particularly aching; plus, a blister developed on my already bruised second-in-command toe.

After showering and eating, I now feel pretty darn good, tired, but good. However, I have mixed feelings about meeting the distance. On the one hand, it felt great to accomplish that mileage, but on the other, I'm thinking about how tired I was at the end and how the marathon will be another 10.2 miles in addition to that 16. But I guess I just have to be confident that when it comes time for the race, I'll be able to get it done.

For now, I'm glad to get that 16 miler done. This week's long run is a little easier, 12 miles, but then next week it's the big 18.

Can't Sleep

Possibilities for why I can't fall asleep tonight:

1. Husband is snoring; snoring alternates between machine-gun rattles and train-engine blares.

2. Dog was positioned directly beneath my legs; he is not allowing me to fully stretch out.

3. I had, perhaps, had too much coffee today -- I can see my pulse in my neck.

4. I have a mild case of heartburn -- maybe I shouldn't have settled on that 11 o'clock "snack" that meant eating the rest of the chicken bowtie salad I made today.

5. I have too many things running through my mind; they range from thinking about the x-mas shopping I have left, to thinking about money, to trying to remember a song title when I can't even fully think of the song I'm trying to think of, to wondering if the platypus is proof that God does exist or proof that God does not exist, to feeling dismayed that the dog chewed through the comforter yesterday.

Something tells me that my run won't be first thing in the morning.

Grody Toenails

I know that not everyone wants to open up this blog and see pictures of my feet, but it's my blog and, you know, "I do what I want!"

So, a tour for the damaged toes: To the left, we have my newly bruised second-in-command toe. This bruise bloomed after the 13 miler 2 weeks ago. When my big toe (other foot) bruised last spring, I thought it was because of poor shoes, but after doing some research, I find that most agree it's just the result of the repeated pressure on the toes and it is commonly called "runner's toe." Sometimes the nail needs to be removed -- mostly it falls off on its own without nay risk of infection.

So, below: we have the aforementioned big toe. Sweet Jesus, is it gross. Therefore, I find it totally awesome.
My husband does not. He won't even look at it, even when I try to force it into his eyeline while he's reading -- he does not like that tactic.

As you can see from the picture, the old nail is slowly working itself off the toe while the new nail grows and replaces it. Thus, the old nail has become yellowish, flakey, and weak. I'm ready for it to be gone even if I'm left with a stubby nail, I'm sick of looking at it's grodiness.

Maybe I should just go in and get a pedicure this weekend and have them cover up the ickiness with pretty polish.

A Countdown

7 days until Thanksgiving -- I get to trot a 5K that is literally right out my front door; I love this race! I get to eat lots of delicious turkey! And we get to decorate for Christmas! I love the holiday season.

8 days until we leave for the Bahamas -- We leave next Friday for a short cruise to the Bahamas and back. My husband and I are celebrating our one year anniversary, so we're indulging in this mini-vacation. We are looking forward to the promised chance to relax.

19 school days left in the semester -- This term has left me worn out and bedraggled. I'm sick of looking at some of my students (especially the ones who wander in late with nothing -- not even a pencil -- with them).

30 days until we leave for MN -- We're going home to visit our family and friends and we're going to be gone for two whole weeks. It's gonna be busy because we have so many people to visit, but it's gonna be nice to see everyone. Most people we haven't seen for a year.

39 days until Christmas -- Speaks for itself. I hope Santa brings me either a Garmin Forerunner or a new Coach bag! (hint, hint, Santa)

52 days until the Disney Marathon -- Mickey, here I come!

My Disney Getaway

Booked my hotel for the marathon. I originally wanted a Disney hotel, primarily because they offer a shuttle to the race's start, but I waited too long and everything Disney is booked solid for the weekend. So I got a hotel as close to the action as possible; it looks nice.

The big race isn't too far away now -- eek!

Feeling Shy

So, I did not get up to run first thing this morning (I know, breaking news) so I thought to myself: I will bring running stuff and run in between classes this afternoon, shower in the gym's locker-room, and I won't have to run tonight after class.

But then I got a case of the "shy."

First of all, the women's locker-room at the community college where I teach is not what you'd call "nice." In fact, it's not even a cousin of nice. And what gives me a particular case of "shy" is that the showers don't have curtains or doors -- just wide-open stalls. Now, I know some of you probably played sports in high school and you might be one of those people who walked around the locker-room naked without a shred of self-doubt. Well, I too played sports, but was like a magician with a towel in order to shower and dress without the slightest glimpse of my naughty bits.

So, I could still run and then just be gross and sweaty for my night class, but I also have a case of "vanity," and while I may not be a beauty queen, I at least like to appear well-groomed for my classes. And I don't think a quick dash of deodorant or a splash of water on the face will help what will surely be sweat-monkey-Jess.

I guess that means I'll haul my running stuff back home and run tonight after I get done with class. *Sigh* It was a good idea in theory, but I don't think I'll follow through with it.

Failure

After my fall last night, I was feeling disappointed in myself. Much of this marathon training has not gone exactly as planned. I have been too hungover, too tired, too naseous, and too over-worked to complete every single mile listed on my schedule, and trust me, it pains me to know that I have missed those miles -- miles that, in my mind, mean a better marathon, a better experience.

When I began training, I took pride in checking off the runs on my schedule and felt that adhering to my schedule was the key to my success, so veering from it wasn't thought of; yet, as the days and weeks have worn on, I have re-arranged the schedule, skipped some runs, made up some runs, and have let some go by without making them up. So the fall last night and the incomplete 15 miler felt like another example of how I had deviated, and had even failed, from the list.

Then I thought about it, and you know what conclusion I came to?

Oh well.

The training thus far has not been perfect, and often times it has been worse than hard: it has been tedious. I have failed in more ways than I care to count, but somehow I feel that this is valuable. Even though I am running this marathon seeking a sense of accomplishment and personal success, I also must remain pragmatic: I will not always succeed and I will not always feel satisfied by this experience. It's my first marathon, and as I train, I find that I am constantly learning and adjusting (I've never run distances like this before, so each long run is a new experience -- experiences frought with the peril of failure), so that maybe for the next round of training, I will improve. I'm not trying to excuse my short-comings, I'm merely acknowledging that they exist, and that, to be honest, I regard them as an essential part of the process.

Too often, runners (and all others) become obsessed with goals, and failing to meet those goals can upset us, but what we (or, at least, I) have to realize is that failure sometimes teaches more than success does. I will try the long run again, maybe it will be better, but maybe it won't.

I suppose what matters most is the trying.

Where the Sidewalk Ends

Tonight was not a good run.

First of all, I didn't really feel up to 15 miles, but I gave myself a mental talking to and decided that whether I felt like it or not, I needed to get it done -- that's what training for a marathon is about; it's hard and sometimes you don't want to do it, but you do it. So I started it.

At about mile 6.5, the sidewalk came to a stop and I was left to run in either the grass or on the road. Because the road is a busy one and there was no shoulder there, I thought it best to run in the grass -- which was really more sand, rocks and patchy crab grass than soft, plush golf-course grass. I'm not used to running on such uneven ground, and then an overhead streelight went out and I was momentarily plunged into darkness.

That's when I tripped over a sizable rock and went tumbling into the dirt. The fall wasn't as bad as the one last summer (when I skidded across the asphalt and splashed into a puddle), but I scraped my knees and palms and found myself covered in fine silt. I got back up and decided that even though my knee was throbbing and my big toe (which stubbed the rock) was aching a bit, I was gonna run on.

But after about a mile, and when the sidewalk resumed, I was feeling achy from the fall and mentally out-of-whack. So, at the next pay phone, I stopped and called my husband and asked him to come and fetch me. In total, I ran 8 miles. And I curse that patch of land without a sidewalk.

Gratutious Dog Pics

Scooter and I went to the dog park earlier today, and he found some friends to run with, and all that running can make a little dog hot, so he likes to play in the wadding pools to cool off. I think it's too cute how he splashes and plays in the water.

Even though I slept in today, I have been getting chores done -- took Scoots to the park, went to the grocery store, and now I'm cleaning this cursed condo. Of course, lurking there at the end of the day is my 15 miler that I really don't want to do. It's not so much the distance but the time; it's gonna take me nearly three hours to run that, and just thinking of it makes me groan. Can I do part today and part tomorrow? Can it work like that?

Saturday

I did do a short run last night even after I was tired from shopping. The Scooter dog and I went for a quick 2 miler. Today, I found myself back at the mall (so much x-mas shopping to do and yet so little to actually find at the mall) and I returned equally tired. So, I napped and now I think I'll go for a 3 mile run.

I had been thinking of adding a 5K to my schedule for today, but we have a gathering to attend this evening and the times would conflict. Every once in awhile I guess you have to choose time with friends instead of time at a race.

Shopping

Does shopping count as training? Because I walked liked a million miles in the mall today and I'm pooped (for part of that I was carrying a very heavy Crate & Barrel bag). Do I still have to run tonight?

The New Blogger

Okay, so most of you have probably already updated your use of Blogger and have gone to Blogger Beta, or whatever it's called. Yesterday, I figured, sure, why not switch it over, it sounds promising. And that's when my blog fell off the face of the world wide web. I freaked. But it turns out that Blogger really does have my best interests in mind, and sure enough, my blog re-appeared. If it had been gone, I think I would have seriously called in sick for work today; I would have been sick at heart if I lost my blog -- I have been posting to this postage stamp piece of cyber-real estate for nearly a year and half and I am quite invested in it.

Anyhoo, in other news, I cut last night's run short: from 7 miles to 3 (I was still pretty stiff and, you know, wasn't feelin' it) -- and this after several of you labeled me "consistent." Thankfully, I have the day off tomorrow (Veteran's Day Observance), so I will have time for a longer run then. Today, I am resting and, well, teaching my little hiny off.

P.S. Interestingly enough, Blooger's suggestions for labels on this post are: scooters, vacation, and fall. WTF?

Lost

No, not my favorite primetime show (which won't air now until February -- damn that ABC!); instead:

"Oh Sweet Jesus, I thought I lost my blog!" I logged into some "new" blogger service and *poof* my blog was gone. Thank the lord, I back-tracked out of that and was able to retrieve this precious little piece of cyber-space.

It was an unholy nightmare!

Stiff-Legged

My 5 miles yesterday was like running with tree trunks for legs. I didn't think I was still stiff from Sunday's 13, but apparently I was. After the first mile, I loosened up and it wasn't so bad, but I felt like Frankenstein's monster lurching through that first mile.

This morning I was studying my schedule and realized I had been looking ahead of where I actually am, and I didn't have to do 5 yesterday, it was supposed to be 3. The good news is that I only have 7 tonight instead of 8; somehow that one mile makes a difference. I'm sore again this morning and my toe next to the big toe (I don't know its technical term -- second in command? index toe?) is sore around the nail. I hope I don't develop another black toenail.

I'll try to drink plenty of fluids and do some stretching today so I can feel more comfortable during my evening run tonight: You can't go too fast running like C3PO.

Lance's Time

This morning a co-worker asked me: Do you know what time Lance Armstrong finished the New York marathon on Sunday? I promptly responded: 2:59:36. Impressed, the co-worker and I went on to discuss aspects of Lance and his marathoning.

Apparently, I am viewed now as the departmental expert on running and marathoning (only because so few others run -- I know of only one other and she's out of commission for now, she's the one who fell off the treadmill), so other instructors feel compelled to ask me marathon or running questions, and my prompt reply this morning made me feel like a real runner. Funny, because it seems as though my own running should make me feel like a real runner, but instead, it's the knowledge of the sport and current running events that somehow re-affirm my part in it.

BTW, I'm sure you running bloggers already read what Lance said about the marathon, but I feel it bears repeating: "It's the hardest thing I've ever done," says 7 time Tour de France winner. Certainly does make completing a marathon sound more elite, doesn't it?

Ouch

Yeah, I'm sore today. Not as sore as I thought I'd be, but I'm still pretty stiff. Last night, I stretched and drank plenty of water, but I knew that today my legs were gonna feel it. It's mainly my quads that hurt, especially when I sit down (that squating move you do to sit into a chair -- ow!).

Today I'll rest and tomorrow I get right back into it with 5 miles. Looking at my schedule for the next few weeks is a bit intimidating: this is where the running gets serious (I guess that's why it's marathon training), and my scheduled long run for the weekend? 15 miles.

Triumph!

I did the 13! That's a half marathon, baby, YEAH!

Some notes on the journey:

• It rained on me between miles 2 and 3, and even though it was a brief rain, I got soaked. Thankfully, the shorts I was wearing dried out easily and the rain was nice and cool, so I didn't really mind.
• I did not wear my fuel belt; instead, I brought along a few dollars in my tiny shorts pocket and bought some water from a gas station. It was easier than dealing with that darn fuel belt (I have delayed getting used to it).
• I walked some while I drank my water; and later in the last mile, I walked a little bit as well; otherwise, it was all running.
• The last three miles were long. 13 miles is far.
• Lastly, I think I've unlocked the secret to my nausea: I believe Gatorade to be the culprit. Every time I drink Gatorade before or after a long run, I throw up, but when I stick to water and then have a big glass of OJ when I get home, I seem to be fine. I suppose I should experiment with some other kind of replacement drink, but I'm reluctant to re-enter the world of post-run-barfing.
• I'm gonna be sore tomorrow.

Ho Hum

Not much to report. Had a relaxing day today: read, went to see "Borat," stopped by see my friend's new baby (I saw him yesterday too after I went and voted early -- he's pretty cute for a newborn; generally, I think they look like aliens, but he's not so alienish), and then I ran 5 miles. Tomorrow, I'm gonna aim for the big 13. Eek!

I am also thinking of adding two new races to my schedule between now and Christmas (a half marathon in Dec and a 5K next weekend); I'll investigate those tomorrow as well. Lastly, I should hop to it and reserve a hotel for Disney. Maybe I'll have more interesting things to report tomorrow. For today, I am lazy.

The '07 Race Debate

Even though I haven't yet finished my first marathon (Disney, January '07), I'm already thinking about what to race in the coming 18 months (I have a tentative goal called "3 before 30" to run 3 marathons before I turn 30 in April of '08; Disney will be #1). It's hard to decide because there's so much out there to run.

Here are a couple of possibilties:

Grandma's Marathon in June '07 and then the ING Miami Marathon in January '08.

Fargo Marathon May '07 and then Marathon of the Palm Beaches in Dec '07.

Twin Cities Marathon in October '07 and then A1A Marathon in Ft. Lauderdale in Feb '08.

You'll note the location trend: I'd like to be able to schedule a marathon close to family so they could come and see me and we'd be able to fit a visit in then, and both my husband's and (most of) my's family are in MN. And it would be nice to do a winter marathon back here in FL (because, well, the weather is glorious that time of year).

But after hearing everyone's stories of Chicago, that makes Chicago (Oct '07) a contender, or there's also Marine Corps (also Oct) in DC (where my dad lives, and I always love visiting DC -- one of my fav cities). Now, I know that there are many years to run many marathons, but it almost feels overwhelming (like being in the bookstore and craving the need to read every single book in there).

So, what do you guys think? How should I schedule the '07-'08 marathon season?

All Saints Day

In honor of Saint Something (I'm not Catholic and have no clue what saint covers the need for a day off, but I'm sure there's one out there), I took a personal day today and I stayed home to get papers read and to get some things done around the house. It was glorious to be home all day and I got tons done (amazing how NOT being at work better enables you to get work done). My goal this week? To not have any papers to read over the weekend. If I get what needs to be done, done tomorrow, that may be feasible. I have a dream of seeing a movie in the theater and going to see my friend's new baby, oh, and running the dreaded 13 miles.

Tonight I went running after dark and went 7 miles. It went well, I felt terrific, had a good post-run dinner provided via the hubby, and I feel confident that 13 miles will be do-able this weekend. It's the number that feels unholy.

Tuesday's Run with Scooter

Scooter's thoughts while on the run this morning:
"I love running, running is fun, I love running. Oh! A stick! I will carry the stick, carry the stick, I love my stick. Do I have to poop? I don't know, I kinda do, but I don't want to stop, wait, I do have to poop. First, I need to sniff every blade of grass and ensure that where I poop is the Perfect spot. Hmmm...maybe I don't need to poop. Squirrel! Run, run, run. I love running. Wait. I definitely have to poop. Grunt. Oh! Another stick! I love sticks! I wonder if Mom will allow me to bring it inside?"

Jess's thoughts while on the run this morning:
"Jesus, Scooter you're gonna yank my arm off. Yes, that's a very nice stick, I'm glad you like it but running with it is gonna be hard. Yeah, that's what I thought -- abandonment of the stick. Geez, if you're gonna poop, just poop! Let's not waste our time sniffing around for so long, any spot will do! Ah Christ, a squirrel, here goes my arm again. Okay, finally, a poop -- it's about time. Yes, that's fine, another stick. Yes, I don't care if you bring it inside. I know it'll be a mess to clean up later, but better to chew on a stick than my furniture. Good lord, running with this dog is a chore."

Fall: Back

With the time change, by the time I got home at 6 pm, it was dark. It kinda sucks this time of year because with Daylight Savings, the days feel shorter and darker (but I know it's not as severe here in FL as it is for those in the northern states). So, when I got home, I quickly changed into my running clothes and hit the pavement. Logged four miles today and they felt really good. It felt like it was late when I got home, but it was only supper time. Now I feel like I should be in bed, but it's only 8! I'm all thrown off.

Halloween '06

So, our party was a success! And I think the pictures tell the best story, so I'll let them do most of the work here.

We have here to the left my husband dressed as Nacho Libre -- he worked very hard to make every bit of this costume (he even made his own boots and sewed the tasles onto his cape!). Scooter is posing with him and being a good little sidekick.

Below, are a cowgirl (that's right, Meg, I posted a pic with you while you're eating -- nothing is sacred on this blog), a naughty policewoman (we saw her abuse her power with the baton she wielded), and a bar wench.


My costume ended up being a last minute affair. Originally I was going to be an evil fairy, but I waited too long to buy some key elements, and was shorted that costume, so after rumaging through Target's five costumes they had remaining, I came up with a 1920's flapper. Unfortunately, the costume was missing some accesories, but that's what you get for $10. Thankfully, I already owned a pair of red heels (the reds don't toally match, but whatever).

You'll note that our condo is still under renovations, thus the cement floor and white walls, and as much as it sucks living in an unfinished residence, it's the perfect place for a party; we don't have to worry if someone spills and the white walls actually made for a good backdrop for many pictures.

Below, is the coup d'etat. My husband, once again as Nacho Libre, and Ryan as the wrestler Ric Flair. Now, Ryan's costume was the spectacle of the party: He had entry music and everything. His costume, like my husband's, is also all homemade, which is really impressive if you could've seen the detailing on the belt and the shoes. He was so dedicated to his character that he even shaved his chest, back and, yes, armpits! His character made us laugh all night. And I have some pics without the robe that I will hold onto until a time when I may need bribe material.


Thankfully, I feel fine today and was even up at 7:15 (with the time change) and I cleaned up the house and threw away all the trash (about three cases worth of beer cans, some of which had been artfully placed in my drier). I am so much better off this Sunday than I was last Sunday. Now, can I say the same for others? Nacho is still sleeping, and I bet Ric Flair is feeling under the weather, and something tells me that a certain cowgirl may not be feeling so hot either.

It was a good time, a very good time.

Disappointed

Intended length of run: 12-13 miles

Actual distance this morning: 6 miles.

I could blame the rain, the wind, the fact that the fuel belt annoyed the crap out of me, or the fact that I was tired this morning, but really, my head, my heart, my body just weren't into it this morning.

What a crappy run.

Fuelin' Up

I got my fuel belt today. Tomorrow is the week's long run: We'll see how that belt works out. I also got a new sports bra, new shorts, and another pair of socks! The running store was a success!

In other news, my halloween party is tomorrow and my costume is MIA. I spotted what I wanted in a store about a month ago and should've just bought it then because time seems to just vanish from underneath me, and here I am tonight wandering through the mall and there's nothing. I might have to resort to a halloween get-up of yore.

We'll see. It will have to be a surprise I guess.

Notes

• I had TOO much coffee today and now I have the poops. My bum burns.
• The weather continues to be lovely here and last night I had a glorious 6 mile run in the early evening. But I did have to flip a guy, who tried to run me down in an intersection, the bird.
• Yesterday, I received race info from Disney! It was very exciting! I was like a thirteen year old boy with a copy of Hustler in my hands. I have the form that I have to turn in at the expo to get my bib number (am a little frightened I will somehow lose it), and I got a glossy little magazine full of key info for the race and the race weekend. I poured over everything and was thrilled to trace the course map -- it's gonna be awesome: I get to run through the Magic Kingdom, the Animal Park, Epcot and lots of FL swampland. Next week, I believe I will book our hotel -- am considering staying at one of the Disney resort hotels; they are more expensive, but it's all part of the experience (plus, they offer free shuttles to everything and that might be useful).
• I am getting excited for my Halloween party on Saturday (haven't yet finished putting my costume together, but I think it will turn out well -- my husband is going to be Nacho Libre, and with his permission I will post his photo here, I'll have to ask for that permission once he's had some beers, and you will die of laughter; it's a great costume), but because it's on Saturday night, I'm planning my long run for Saturday morning so I can avoid the sort of problem I ran into last weekend.
• That's my news for now -- short and to the point.

Hump Day

Oh coffee, how do I love thee? I love thee to the depth, breath, height my adrenline can reach!

Seriously, if it weren't for coffee, I'd still be in bed today. Hump day does not feel so humperific so far.

Brrrrr...

This morning it was chilly outside. When I got up with Scooter at 6:30, it felt like winter! In reality, it was like 50 degrees, but considering that it was 90 yesterday, the temp drop felt extreme. After Scooter went about his affairs, we ran back inside and snuggled in the warm covers for another hour, and then got up.

I took Scooter with me for my morning run and he made it the entire three miles! (It actually felt cold on my ears as we ran!) He was gung-ho in the first mile, dragged through the second, and then got a renewed burst of energy in the third (once he knows we've made the final turn for home, he is always excited). The little fella was tired though when we got home, and for moment I thought he might "pull a Jess" and barf (he had that look about him), but he didn't. Instead, he crashed out on the bed and that's where I left him.

Last night I ran 3 miles as well (sans dog), so my good runner status is rising. I just have to keep the momentum going.

Post-Hangover

So yesterday was painful.

I ended up sleeping almost the entire day, and did not technically get out of bed until about 4 pm. At that time, I got up and managed to make some use of the day by cleaning the house, doing the laundry and helping with dinner, but by 7, I was exhausted again and was back in bed. (I do recall at the gathering that I boasted I had not been sick from drinking since my bachelorette party -- a year ago -- so the lesson? Never make a declaration like that while guzzling down two bottles of red wine.)

The most disappointing thing about yesterday's illness was that I missed my run; I was so dehydrated and sick that I didn't feel up to any kind of physical exertion. So last week tops the training so far for bad runner status, and that means that this week I have to get my shit together and stick to this week's schedule.

On a side note, I am struggling through a PowerBar that is absolutely disgusting. I keep trying to nibble at it, but I think I'm going to pitch it -- yuck!

Too Much Wine

Ugghhh...

It's 1:48 in the afternoon and I don't yet feel normal. Drinking is bad kids, m'kay?

New Camera!

Today I got a new digital camera (I had previously reported that the old one was dying a slow death -- you'll recall that I requested money from the lot of you, but I'm sorry to report that not a single one of you pitched in; I suppose I can forgive), and it's friggin' sweet! It's a Sony Cybershot with 7.2 megapixels and that means I can snap pictures of Scooter with even greater clarity!
Well, it's for other purposes as well, but I do like to take pictures of my dog (such as the one to the left).

So, now when my husband tags along with me to races, he can capture awesome action shots of me and he can rest assured that the camera will actually A.) turn on, and B.) take a quality picture. I was disappointed to discover that digital cameras aren't yet putting out a product that improves the way you look, but I guess that's what Photoshop is for.

Stay glued to your seats -- totally tubular pics will be streaming your way over the next few days! I'll try to get some quality ones tonight at my friend's "wine and cheese" party. (Is it a wise idea to consume mass quantities of Shiraz and Gouda the day before a long run? No. Does it promise to be both a fabulous time and an excellent picture taking opportunity? Yes!)

P.S. Good luck to the RBFers running in Chicago tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you!

End of the Week

Tonight, I went for a run with the Scoots. He's building his endurance and can go further and further each time; although, when we're done, he's pretty pooped (kinda the point -- a tired dog is a well-behaved dog). Currently, he is crashed on the bed.

Tomorrow I am going to try and make up that missed run from earlier this week -- six miles, and then I have the daunting number 12 on Sunday. Two things I need to do before that big run:

1. Map out a route. Planning these long runs gets trickier each time. I feel like I'm running the entire length of South Florida sometimes. In fact, 12 miles might be the distance from my house to work...hmmm...that might make it interesting; of course, once I got there, I'd have to arrange for the hubby to pick me up and he might not be up for that (he's very busy at work these days).
2. Get a fuel belt. I know, I know, I am WAY late getting one of these, but I actually saw some for the first time when I was at that 15K last weekend, and I can see how slim they are and it looks like it wouldn't be that much more to carry. Plus, I have a $10 coupon for the running store -- awesome!

Wednesday

I did not get up this morning to run. I thought I might be better motivated to get up early since my husband had to get up early and go into a work early, but even though I got up with him and walked Scooter, I came back inside and went back to bed (and had a strange dream about making cupcakes, which was made even stranger by the fact that a fellow instructor really had made cupcakes and brought them in to share -- spooky).

So, I was able to be a good runner for about a week and a half; that's all I am really capable of. I'm sure that I'll make up the run scheduled for today -- even when I don't get it done first thing in the monring, I find a way to fit it in later in the day or in the week. Still, being "good" and staying on track, and especially getting a run in before work, makes me feel so virtuous. I should know by now that neither my body nor my mind are saintly.

Anyhoo, I consider it a feat to have gotten out of bed at all today (so very sleepy), so I'm not beating myself up about it too much.

Smartie Overload

As I was laying in bed enjoying a classic re-run of "Friends" (the one where Joey and Chandler have "free porn!"), I asked my husband to fetch me a Smarties from the cauldron of candy. One. I asked for one. (I'm trying to be good.) What does he bring back? Five. (Perhaps, he didn't appreciate the "fetch" comment.)

Now, I know that this was a moment meant to test my will power: The challenge? To only eat one when I had five sitting on my lap. Now, here are the Smartie stats: per roll (15 tablets), there are 25 calories, not terrible, but each roll contains *gasp* 6 grams of sugar. So, five rolls meant 125 calories (not real worrisome) and 35 grams of sugar -- that's a lot for such small packages.

So, I considered this...for about 30 seconds. Then I ate all five of them, and you know what? They were delicious. I love Smarties, and have since I was a kid (and once vowed to eat them until I puked -- I never puked, I just got too full to consume anymore), and I won't apologize. But I don't believe those trick-or-treaters will get their grubby little hands on any of MY Smarties! Not at this rate.

A Case of the Mondays

I could've slept all day today, and I went to bed at 9:30 last night! Can someone else please drive to work today and teach my classes for me? I'll stay at home and take advantage of my "rest" day, ahhhh.