Then, I realized Caleb was being really quiet...
...Shitballs!
I found him, hiding under a blanket, painting his fingernails AND the carpet with blue nail polish.
As I did my best to try to clean the paint out of the carpet, I heard rustling in the pantry, so I leave the nail polish remover and the BLUE STAIN to investigate.
I find the kids shoving Oreos in their mouths. Cookie crumbs all over their cheeks, the package emptied.
I'm throwing the purloined cookie packaging away when I felt the distinct, early rumblings of a fart.
But, my butt had a different thought.
Annnnnddd...that's when I sharted.
Blue paint in the carpet, two sugared kids, and shitty, ruined underwear.
Nice.
That's exactly how I was hoping a Wednesday would go.
Thankfully, there was one thing that could salvage the day and my sanity.
"Alcohol?" You ask.
That too could work.
Instead, I got a movie going for the kids and hit the treadmill for a midday run. 5.5 miles later, I felt less stabby. The carpet was (and is) still blue, and nothing was gonna resurrect those shitty undies, but the day felt salvaged.
Ahhhhh...
7 comments:
Wow. That's a hell of a day. Good call on going for a run to blow off steam.
Definitely gotta put those polishes away! =P
I've had days like that... nice save!
Ahhh, thanks for the best laugh I've had in awhile. I did not see the shart coming...and neither did you, I guess. Hope you had a better Thursday and not a Turdsay.
Oh my! :)
Oh my! You just made me laugh out loud at work. Your day sounds like EVERY. SINGLE. SATURDAY. for me. Love reading your blog!
Nice to hear, a savaged mom! We can never predict sad consequences of a childish creativity)
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