Why, Hello Soapbox! Yes, I'd love to Step Up!

Now that Memorial Day has passed, and summer has officially arrived, everywhere I look (ie, Facebook, the shiny magazines at the grocery store), I see articles and posts about getting ready for a "bikini body."

These articles are loathsome since they prey on people's bodily insecurities, are often condescending, and truthfully should read: "Pinpoint the parts of your flabby ass that you hate enough to change, then hold yourself to impossibly high standards of exercise and nutrition to try and melt that flabby ass away, then hate yourself for falling short of the impossibly high standards."

Equally, though, I also dislike the opposite "Love your flabby ass with all its extra assiness" articles.  Both, I think, say something similar (even though I doubt that's their intention): Dwell on your body and take up emotional real estate with that contemplation.

So, if I'm complaining about both, what kind of health/exercise/body image article titles would I like to see?

How about:

"Exercise!  It makes you feel less bitey and ensures you don't end your day mumbling incoherent fragments while bouncing your forehead off the wall"?

Or:

"10 ways exercise will make you strong so that you don't throw up each time you have to push your kids around the zoo"?

Maybe even:

"If you eat a balanced diet, sleep 8 hours a day, exercise, and spend time relaxing, you'll have a higher quality of life and MIGHT even live longer"?

Lastly, perhaps:

"Like your bod enough so you don't have any damaging complexes but not so much you post obnoxious abs selfies"?

I doubt I'll see those headlines anytime soon.  

Too wordy, right?

Where the Asphalt Ends

The greenway closest to my home is about 3 miles in length, but future construction for it plans to extend it many more miles (eventually putting it right by our house, actually; but who knows how long that will take).  For now, once you get to the end of the road, it just sort of dissolves into a worn, dirt path.

 

 

The path isn't very pedestrian friendly, and is probably used by more deer than humans, but it's passable as a running trail.  Almost always, I stick to the asphalt, but occasionally, I've gone "off road."

It doesn't go far (about a quarter mile and then abruptly ends), and it's not groomed at all, so it slows the running down considerably.

Still.  Sometimes a runner has to run off the beaten path.  Just a little.

Potty Training and the Quest to find Rocket Ship Underwear

Potty training Caleb has been as easy as a trip to the moon.  Granted, the kid has had a lot of life disruptions during the process, and every parent knows that potty training is largely psychological (screw this part of their life up, and you pay for therapy instead of college), so we've been as understanding as possible.  But, last week, I determined it was time for Underwear Bootcamp, in which we went full time underwear (during the day), and dammit, even if I do a lot of laundry, we'll get this business done.

 

The first few days were urine-soaked, but he has mostly done well (with pee -- he has yet to drop a deuce in there).  However, I feel like he's missing the appropriate motivation.  If he had that, I think we could turn the corner from ME wanting him to go on the potty to HIM wanting to go on the potty.  We have promised toys and candy aplenty, but he's not easily swayed.

 

One barrier (I feel) is that he doesn't find his underwear to be superior to his pull-ups.  If he had the undies he liked, I think - maybe, just maybe -- he'd drum up some enthusiasm about NOT crapping in his drawers.

 

Unfortunately, the kid underwear selection is extremely limited.  You go to Target (why shop anywhere else?), and the choices are limited to licensed characters, so boys get the vast choice of either Jake, Thomas, or Superheroes.  Caleb has no particular passion for any of these.  He picked out Jake and Thomas simply because they were deemed the best choices of the 3, but he doesn't love any of them. (Very different from Norah, who LUH-VED the Disney princesses.  And, parents of little girls are pretty much tripping over Disney princess apparel.)

 

So, I launched the only other shopping tool I rely on: Amazon.

 

Zilch for what he wanted (rockets ships or sharks).

 

So, then I did a Google search.  Very limited results (there are some Gap shark undies, but when I showed Caleb the images, he said he didn't like them), but I did find Underdoodles, which features some unique designs, including...rocket ships!

 

Problem?  They're $12 a pair!

 

 

Still, I filled my shopping bag with them.  Then, when it came to checking out, I stalled when I saw the total, which equaled the GNP of a small country.  Plus, they take 7-10 days to ship.  For a nearly 3 year old, 7-10 days is like seventy-ten years; I need something NOW.

 

In the end, I didn't buy them.  Would the $12 (a pair!) undies really make THE difference?  Are they worth the expense and the wait?

 

For now, those questions will be left to linger in the ether of my abandoned shopping cart.  We'll persevere with the substandard Jake and Thomas and wish that we lived in a world where a boy could find rocket ship underwear a little more easily.

Flip Belt Review

I've never had much need to carry items on my runs.  For water, I've often relied on handhelds.  A house key has always fit nicely in my shorts' pocket.  And, I've never been in the habit of carrying my phone with me.

But, since adapting to some changes to my running habits in NC, I often find I am carrying both my keys and my phone.  So, change was in order.

When I explained to Jerry my needs, he said, "So...you're looking for a fanny pack?"

"More like Batman's utility belt," I clarified.

After browsing Amazon, and reading reviews, I decided to order the Flip Belt.

My reasons for this selection -- out of the eleventy billion other choices -- was mainly that I liked the idea of zero buckles and the guarantee that shit wouldn't bounce around as I ran.

It arrived last week, and I immediately put it to the test.

First off, this has no buckles, so to secure it around your waist, you step in to it and shimmy it up around your hips; then, you slip your necessities into the pockets.

My keys and phone (I have an iPhone 5s, with a LifeProof case) fit easily, and there is certainly room for more.  I could fit gels, money, cards; basically, I feel I could rob a bank and fit all the loot in its spandex pockets.  So, the roominess is nice.

I put my items in, then did the fliparoo to fold everything over against my body.  This is why the product has no zippers or flaps either; it's secured by being pressed against your body. Grandmas traveling Europe would be pleased.

Off I ran!

I've run with it a handful of times now (never further than 5 miles, though, bear in mind), so here are my thoughts:

Pros:

• No buckles, zippers, or fasteners helps reduce flappage, chafing, and general annoyances.
• Items really don't shift or rub or go bump on the run.
• It's easy to access the pockets if you need to retrieve items.
• It's inexpensive ($28.99 on Amazon).

Cons:

• Do you like running in Spanx?  Me neither, and this feels like a Spanx-belt.  I don't need any help having my attention diverted to midsection chub, and this made me hyper-aware of it. Notice how, in the ads, everyone sporting it looks like they eat abs for breakfast.  I'm sure they don't worry about muffin-top, but for regular humans, this may be an uncomfortable feature.
• I also didn't love feeling my stuff jammed into my kidneys.  It doesn't necessarily leave an iPhone imprint on your liver, but I bet if you used it for long, it would.
• Sizing may not be designed for human-sized people.  I wear small or extra small for most clothing and apparel, but decided to err on the side of caution by going with a medium, and I kinda wish I'd gone with a mega large.
• It's a bit warm.  As you might expect from a Lycra girdle. 

The final lowdown:

Its pros and cons kinda even out to a solid "meh" rating.  Good idea, very convenient way to run "hands free," but I bet Batman doesn't feel like his stash is being stored in an elastic cummerbund.

DMV

This morning, Jerry and I took the first steps to becoming REAL NC citizens by visiting the DMV and applying for our driver's licenses.

No one wants to visit the DMV, just like no one wants a root canal, but compared with the Florida DMV?  This was like riding a unicorn over a rainbow.

In FL, the DMV is basically purgatory: Super hot and nothing but waiting.

In FL, you can make an appointment for the DMV, but that appointment is worth as much as the money in Monopoly; the "appointment" just means that, at some point on that day, you will get your turn with a hostile employee.  If you don't have an appointment, I assume that, exactly like purgatory, you just wait forever.  10 years ago, when Jerry and I went to the FL DMV, it shook out like so:

We made our appointment and arrived that day when the DMV opened.  When we arrived, the line of people snaked along the side of the building: 100 people in front of us, all waiting in the sweltering Florida sun.  So they smelled great.  When they opened the doors, we were herded in to a giant waiting room decorated with the charming décor that all DMVs seems to favor: It's a design meant to deflate your soul.  Beige linoleum, florescent overhead lights (one of which is obligated to occasionally flicker and buzz as if possessed), and uncomfortable folding chairs, all lined up with such close proximity to one another as to ensure that you will spend all day trying to establish elbow supremacy with the person seated next to you.  Who, from the start, has an aroma that you can taste.

Then?  We waited.

ALL. DAY. LONG.

But, after watching the procession of those who were called before us, it made us uncertain as to which fate was worse: the eternal waiting or dealing with the openly aggressive employees who, at all moments, seemed poised to push the secret behind-the-counter-button that would release the above-head tub of piranhas.  Brought the wrong documents?  Piranhas!  Struggle with the vision test?  Piranhas!  Take too long signing in the rectangle box?  PIRANHAS!

Eventually, in our respective turns, Jerry and I were each called forth and dealt with the surly examiners with the same trepidation as Seinfeld did with the Soup Nazi.   Thankfully, since neither of us asked for bread, at the end of the day, we were each rewarded with our FL licenses.

And, we never went back.

In comparison, the DMV here in NC -- while still a DMV, that still made me feel a bit bitey (how hard is it for the online guidelines to be consistent with the reality of what the office asks for?) -- was worlds better.  We were in and out in about an hour, the examiners were friendly and joked easily with us, and at no point during the process did I feel like it was possible I might have to spit in someone's eyes and leap across the desk to throttle them.

The only downside is that you don't immediately get your license -- just a piece of paper and the promise of a license -- but, in 8-10 days?  That shiny little baby should arrive in the mail, and I'll officially be a North Carolina resident!

Then I can go ahead and submit the proof of residency to FL to excuse me from that pesky jury duty I postponed...

Running Partner

It was a rainy day yesterday in NC, so I wanted to run close to home, which means laps around the neighborhood (refer to the lack of sidewalks mentioned previously).

Norah was adamant, then, about joining me.

She did a great job and ran a little more than a half mile with me at a 10 min pace.  In her own words: "Phew!  That was fun!  I'm so sweaty!"

Day 500

Today was a running red letter day: Day 500 of my run streak!

To celebrate, I ran 5 miles.  Because I embrace clichés.

It was also my first run with my new Flip Belt (review to come next week).

On the one hand, I can't believe how awesome I am to have run 500 consecutive days.  On the other hand, I'm like, well...shit.  There is no other hand.  

500 days is just badass.

The Swings Can Suck It

Whenever we go to a park (everyday) or step into our backyard (all. day. long.), I cross my fingers no one wants to swing.

Because, obviously, I hate fun.

Of all the playground equipment and activities, no other piece demands so much parental effort while asking so little of the child.  What do they get?  A gentle breeze and the lilting, relaxing feeling of gliding through the air.

What do I get?

Zero breeze, sun always in my eyes, the monotony of pushing someone "higher!"

It's work.  And, frankly, I haven't brought them to the park so I can work.

I've brought them so I can sit in the shade and scroll through Facebook.

They're cute, though.  That's supposed to make up for everything, I guess.

The best case scenario, however, does sometimes arise: One will take an interest in pushing the other, doing the work on my behalf.  

So I can sit in the shade and take pics to post on Facebook.

I wish playgrounds would just yank all their swings out so it wasn't an option.  In which case, I'd be able to just shrug with upturned hands, and sigh disappointedly with them: "Sorry guys.  Blame the playground overlords.  Not me."

Inwardly, my heart would smile.

The Piñata Analogy

Have you ever smacked a piñata?  Not just stood there and clobbered it, but been to a birthday party where they blind folded you, spun you in circles, and handed you a bat, then let you swing wildly in the dizzing dark?

If so, that's what I think moving is like.

You're disoriented, feeling your way in the  darkness, blindly trying to figure out what the fuck you're doing.

Also, it feels like bystanders are probably laughing.

For me, I have to first locate the essentials (Target), then branch out from there.  Thankfully, smart phones help a lot with navigation (10 years ago when I moved to FL, if I got lost, I was just screwed), but even my smart phone can be dumb, and I've found myself needlessly adding extra mileage in pursuit of necessities in the past 10 days.

The one thing that helps provide me with centrality is running and finding the necessary running routes.

Here, in North Carolina, they don't seem to believe in sidewalks, or shoulders for the roads, but they do have greenways -- nicely paved trails that wind prettily by scenic creeks.  The running there has been lovely, like this run on Mother's Day:

Or, this early morning run last week:

It would be nice to step out my front door and get to these places on foot, but I value my life and hate the thought of Jerry having to find my body in a ditch, so for now, I have to drive to such running locales.

I haven't found the DMV yet, but I know where to run.  For me, that's really the first step to citizenship in a new place.  I still feel weirdly out of place, and am certain I will for awhile, but finding my running groove helps make it feel like I'm finally making some solid connections with the piñata. 

Moving

After a few months of blogging hiatus, I decided to return: newer and better than ever!

Relocated too.

Not the blog.  Me.  And the rest of the family.  I brought them too.

It seems impossible to summarize the past 4 months, not to mention the move itself, so I'll just say this: It's impossible.  Let's skip to the gist of the move and then "move" on, shall we?

Two weeks ago, we (as in the movers) loaded up the moving truck in FL.

 

And then we (as in "we" -- we didn't take the movers with us) stopped off for a quick Disney visit to take advantage of one last trip as FL residents.

 

 

Then, we met the movers at our new house in North Carolina, and they brought all our stuff despite the fact that we didn't take them to Disney!

 



She's a beaut, isn't she Clark?

 

 

We're still unpacking boxes and hanging things on the wall, but we're starting to get settled in.  So, I figure "Why not return to blogging?" so that everyone can keep up with me and my captivating life, especially now that we're in a new place with new adventures.  Should be fun!  Hope you'll read along!



How to Streak when your Spouse is 700 Miles Away

Jerry's been gone for 75 hours now (but, who's counting), and not only have I kept the kids alive, but I've also managed to keep the fish alive, remembered to blow out burning candles, and...oh yeah, keep my streak alive!

So, at this point, I'm certain I've acheieved "expert" status on streaking without a spouse.

Here's what I'm thankful for:

• Daycare.  Week day runs would be much harder to fit in without it.
• The double running stroller.  Kids haven't run in it much for a long time, so right now, it's a novelty for them and they're enjoying it.  Over the weekend, we ran to a couple of parks, and that was a good combo: They had to sit in there for no more than 10-15 minutes, and then were released to the park, then back in for more running.  Breaking it up helped us all.
• The treadmill.  On campus I have access to the gym treadmill, and in my temp apartment, there is a gym also equipped with a treadmill.
• Good friends.  Who, while not yet called upon, have offered to take the kids if/when I want to run outside, by myself.
• A good babysitter.  She's been watching our kids since Norah was a baby, and I've already booked her some weekend mornings so, again, I can get outside for runs by myself.  The fact that she's willing to come in the morning and for just a few hours is great; she's a huge help.

I'm pretty fortunate to have all of this at my disposal (it would be even better if I had the space for a treadmill IN the apartment, but alas, I don't even have room for my books in this apartment!), and even though it's not as convenient to keep the streak alive without Jerry here, I think I'm going to be able to manage it.

At least for the time being.  You never know what wrenches life will throw in my way, but for now, it's working.

Day #365 and Beyond

The end of 2013 was a whirlwind for us: I had the end of the semester, we had celebrated Christmas, then we packed up and moved out of our condo and into the apartment the kids and I will be renting for the next 4 months, and we closed on the sale of our condo.  In the midst of all this, I did manage to keep up with the running and thus the streaking, and on December 31st, I ran my 365th consecutive day and therefore completed 1 year of streaking.

It felt great to reach that achievement, and I was pleased with my year in running:

1,288 miles
3 races (1 HM, 1 10K, 1 5K)
2 new PRs (10K, 5K)

I didn't race much, and I can't believe I missed a "round" mileage number (1,300) by 12 miles, but honestly, I was so sidetracked in November and December, I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to my mileage; I was just concentrating on getting my runs in every day (consequently, those 2 months were my lowest mileage months: 98 and 90 miles respectively).

So, onto 2014:

I didn't stop streaking on Jan 1st; I kept streaking and plan to keep streaking.  What can I say?  I may be an addict now.  So, my plan for 2014 is pretty simple: Keep streaking.

I really am not planning any other running goals beyond that.  Jerry leaves this Saturday for NC and thus begins the 4 month experiment of me as a single parent: To keep the streak alive during those months will be a trial (but I think it can be managed), so to expect anything more in these initial months of the year seems like folly.

At the end of April, the kids and I will be moving to NC to join Jerry, and from there, I have no clue how the rest of my year will shape up -- in running, as well as in other ways, so again, I'm just hoping to keep streaking.

Maybe I'll race some this year, maybe I won't.  We'll see.  What I hope for is that this time next year, I can report a 2nd year of streaking, and hopefully, will have run at least 1,300 miles. ;)

The Big Changes

After several very positive job offers were considered, Jerry has accepted a position in Winston Salem, NC.  His tentative start date is set for mid-January.

It's an exciting move for him since it will offer him a step up in both pay and position and promises to be rich with opportunities for professional growth.

So that's awesome.

The kids and I won't be joining him in NC immediately, though, since after a few lengthy discussions with my Dean, I decided it was to my own professional benefit to stay and finish my academic contract and teach the remainder of the year.  So.  That's gonna be tough to be apart, and I'll be honest: the idea of full time Momming and full time teaching is intimidating, but I know I can do it.  Especially when I know there's an end in sight.

The big question will be: Will I be able to continue streaking?

2013 Turkey Trot 5K

After I posted on Wednesday that I didn't expect much from Thursday's 5K, I went out and surprised myself and my legs by running a new PR (by 2 seconds) of 26:33.

Afterward, seeing how narrowly I'd beat last year's PR, I kinda kicked myself for not really pushing it in that 3rd mile and earning a significant PR.  Doesn't matter.  I was pleased with what I did.  Leading up to the race, I actually wasn't sure if I'd even be able to pull off a 30 minute 5K (my legs were still achin' something serious from that fall).

Here's the kids and I after the race; they were all about the cookies:

 

For my effort, I was really sore on Friday, but thankfully, by yesterday, my legs seemed fully recovered from both the fall and the race.  And, yesterday was day #335 in the streak: Exactly 30 days until I can celebrate my 1 year streak-versary!

Falling Down

On Sunday, while running, I tripped, fell, and scraped my left knee. (I also did something uncomfortable to my right quad because it's been aching like I ran a marathon.)  However, after I fell, I assessed the damaged, determined it wasn't anything I couldn't run through, and ran on to finish up my planned run.  The streak is now at day #330.

The fall, while real, is a good metaphor for the entire month of November.  Because Jerry and I have had a doozy of a November.

Jerry got laid off.

There's a lot to discuss here in terms of explanation, but it's boring, and it's not a tale no one hasn't heard before.  It was a blow, but:

Thankfully, Jerry had anticipated the company's downsizing and had already been pursuing a few promising leads, and since the news, he has been inundated with calls, emails, and texts with leads and opportunities.  Ironically, now that he's a "free agent," managers from across the country have been contacting him and doing their best to try and "pick him up off the waiver."  Sorry, that was a lot of sports talk.

From all this, he will most certainly find a fitting offer from another company.

Also, he received a generous severance and, with our savings, we aren't concerned about any immediate financial impact.  Plus, you know, I work too.

While we are some of the most fortunate who can receive this kind of news, it still complicates our lives and is stressful to deal with.  A new opportunity for him most certainly means moving out of state.  We will probably have options to consider, but it's a big decision, and a big move (wherein I will have to resign my job), especially since we don't yet know where or when.  That would be okay, but we're also on the verge of closing on our condo, which we've already been negotiating a sale on now for months.  We're now set to close on that at the end of December.

In the end, all of these big events will, most likely, work out just fine and maybe even better than fine -- in some ways, the lay off could be advantageous for us and maybe push to make some decisions we were reluctant to undertake before.

So, the lay off announcement pushed us down, but we didn't stay down, and while his company's decision bruised, it's nothing that won't fade and that we can't recover from.

As for the running: Tomorrow, I run in my 9th consecutive Turkey Trot 5K, a streak of its own, but I have no expectations about time this year.  My runs following Sunday's spill have been short and slow, and I doubt my legs will feel good enough tomorrow to really push myself.

Still...you never know.  Sometimes an unexpected descent means you have no where to go, but up.

Sayonara October!

October always feels like a particularly long month.  And the last week of the month was particularly exhausting: We had company staying with us (which is always fun but is also busy), then I came down with a round of the barfs, and then it was Halloween which, once you have kids, requires days of events not just one day.  Given that, I was just happy to get last week's runs done, and squeeze in an even 100 miles for the month.

So, I'm happy to see October in the rearview and am pleased to look forward to November, one of my favorite months.  I have the turkey trot on Thanksgiving (always one of my favorite traditions), and I am planning for an early December half marathon, so I have that training beginning to peak as well.  Thankfully the weather has begun to cool off, so even though the days are shorter and I'll have to adjust to running in the dark, the relief of more temperate weather is welcome.

In general, because FL's sub tropical climate gives us the opposite enjoyable weather as the rest of the country, from now until March I get to enjoy FL's "race season," and just yesterday, I was starting to get excited about determining which events I wanted to include in this year's race calendar.  Certainly, it's tempting to do them all, but practicality dictate that time and finances be considerations, so I have to limit my choices.  Still, it's always fun to look at my choices and weigh the favorites with the events I've never done, or haven't done in awhile.

I'm lucky to have such choice, and it being November, I do pause to be grateful for the running events that stretch out before me from now until March.

M.I.A.

In terms of running, October has been an average month: Still streaking (today is day #300 -- "only" 65 more days before I can fill out the forms and submit my official USRSA application!) and still putting in an average of 3-4 miles a day.  However, in terms of blogging, October has been a giant failure.

In part this is because I've been very busy with work this month (midterm), but in part, I've had little that feels blogworthy.

The weather has cooled off here, though, and it's been lovely here in South Florida, so for the first time in almost 6 months, I'm enjoying running outside again.  Does that count as a noteworthy piece of blogformation?

Hope so.  Because it's all I got right now.

Taking it Easy

Last week, after hitting the month's mileage goal, I promptly caught a cold.  With an accompanying low-grade fever.  Admittedly, I internally freaked out a bit with the fever since last year at this time, I got sick with a virus whose principle symptom was a low grade fever and it wound up undoing the streak I had going back then.  Thankfully, by Friday, the fever had passed and so had most of my other symptoms and I was feeling better.

But, I did take advantage then of a "bye" week in terms of mileage.  I ran no more than 3 miles a day, and totaled the week with 19.64 miles, almost half of the previous week's effort.

Honestly, it's been nice giving myself a little running "break," as the decreased effort spilled into this week too.  A streak never affords a runner an entire break, but it's funny how such a descrease in mileage really does feel like one.  

Boom

Nailed it!

Yesterday, on September 30th, precisely within my designated timeframe, I ran 2013's 1,000th mile, which also happens to be my streak's total mileage.  It was day #272 in the streak, which means that I have averaged 3.6 miles a day this year and in this streak.

To my surprise, Jerry had picked me up the above shirt as a gift for celebrating the occassion.  Jerry.  He's the best, isn't he?

I feel like I've rounded a curve in this streak and in this year's running, and now I look forward to upcoming approach of the 1 year mark (93 days away!) when I can register to become an "official" streaker.  Plus, if I can maintain my average of 3.6 miles a day until the end of year, I'll log a year's mileage that exceeds any previous year's mileage. 

Sheesh.  I would say it's tough being this awesome.  But, really, it's not.  I'm a natural.

Down to the Wire

At the beginning of the month, I announced my intention to reach my 1,000th mile (this year) by the end of September, and for the most part, I've been diligent in my endeavor.  But, over the weekend, I hit a bit of a running slump.

We were camping in the Keys -- left on Friday, returned on Sunday -- and both the prep, the camping itself, and the return left me wiped out, so I ran minimum mileage those 3 days.  So, I put myself a bit behind in the mileage.

Now, with 6 days left in the month, I need to run 29 miles to achieve my goal.  That's 4.8 miles each day.

Obviously, if I hit 1K on Oct 1st, rather than Sept 30th, the world doesn't end, so there's no "real" pressure to achieve this.  Still.  I set a goal for myself, I like to see it through.

So, for 4.8 miles a day for the next 6 days?  It's on.