Poop Humor

Earlier this week, it was Jerry's turn to wake up with Norah and as soon as he went in her room, she told him that she pooped.  Still not fully awake, and not yet ready to turn on the light, he changed her diaper in the semi-dark.  As he was changing her, he spied what he thought was one of her shoes on the changing table, and he wondered what one of her shoes was doing there, so he picked it up.  Yeah...it didn't take him long to realize he was holding her turd in his hand.

Even typing that makes me laugh so hard tears spring to my eyes, so yes, I have found it all kinds of hilarious to make fun of him this week for picking up her poop, mistaking it for a shoe.

Karma, then, seems to also find it funny to make sure that things always even out in our household.

So, this morning, Norah and I took a shower together, as we do every morning, and afterward, I get out first and dry off while she lingers in the tub and splashes about a bit in the draining water.  When I turn around to drape her towel around her and fetch her out of the tub, I spy a deuce -- she'd pooped in the tub again!  Thankfully, I figure, she's still in the tub -- easy clean up.  I dispose of the turd and then soap/hose her and the tub down.

I leave her in the bathroom, brushing her teeth, while I go toss a few clean up towels in the washing machine, as I'm returning to the bathroom, Norah is going, "Mama!  Mama!"  I get in there and discover that she'd pooped again, but this time on the bathmat, and this time she had walked through it!  She was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, balanced on one leg, looking disgustedly at her shit-covered toes.

Ah!  Poop on the bathmat, poopy-prints across the bathroom, and a poopy-footed kid!

So, again, clean up.

Then, I'm hauling the bathmat and some shit-smeared towels to the kitchen to deposit them in the washing machine, and Norah, still naked, trails along behind me.  As I'm stuffing this grody stuff in the machine, and feeling like I need a fresh shower, but in bleach this time, I turn around and find Norah peeing on the kitchen floor!

At least pee is even easier to clean up, but lord, after that, I had a diaper on her faster than a fat kid is on a cupcake.  I guess the lesson is "laugh not at your spouse's poopcidents because the poopcidents will come back around to you!"