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Monday, January 12, 2009

Bowling

We finished our second quarter of league last week in 29th place. Out of 36 teams. It's not last place, but it's close enough.

In the past two months, our team's bowling has plummetted. And the reason? I'm not drinking. Seriously, that's the only conclusion I can draw. If Jess doesn't drink, the team goes downhill.

Now, I wish I could remedy this with a hearty bucket of Bud Light for tonight's bowling, but unless I want my un-born child to have FAS and later answer his or her questions about why mommy loved beer more than his or her fetal development, then we will have to figure out a new way for us to win. Logically, just because I'm not drinking it doesn't mean that the others on the team can't drink (in fact, you'd think Jerry would be hittin' the sauce extra hard since he has a guaranteed sober cab), but for some reason, without me pounding down the beers, I've found my team's liquor performance (and bar tab) to be dismal.

So, for tonight, it's a fresh start for us as a team. New quarter, new chance to kick ass! And I'm sure that both the bartender and the waitress (both of whom's income has suffered some since our team's drinking decline) are with me when I say to my teammates: Don't be pussies! Order beer! We need a win, dammit!

As for me, I'll be drinking water. Whooppee!

33 comments:

teacherwoman said...

Enjoy the water! Good luck with a new quarter!

Mrs. K said...

aw you have a great crew!they commiserate! :)

L*I*S*A said...

Shit! I need to get my head out of my ass.

Congrats!!!!!

runner26 said...

lol!

i agree--the few times I've bowled, the was lots of liquor! Best of luck to your team!

RunningLaur said...

Your team needs to man up. You're making a whole new person and bowling at the same time, the least they can do is drink their faces off to support the team!

MN Mom said...

Every group needs a ring-leader.

D10 said...

It is going to be a whole new experience bowling without beer. Ah, you'll do great and have fun.

X-Country2 said...

See, that's why I don't have kids! :o)

kelsalynn said...

How funny! I was going to ask you about this and sure enough, here's a post! I'm sorry...but hey, this should make you feel pretty good- you're the life of the party and when you're having a drunken good time, others can't help but do the same!!! You're a LEADER! ha ha!

MCM Mama said...

Oh, come on girl, go wild - at least have a lemonade or something. LOL

Kevin said...

Sounds like you have to force feed the rest of your team beer

Nicole said...

Maybe you can bowel granny style - that always helped me.

robtherunner said...

The water will be a good change. We could all drink a bit more water. I'm sorry that your bowling team has had to suffer because of it though.

chia said...

Dude, I wish I was there to pick up your end of the beer consumption. I CAN DO IT! I'M QUALIFIED DAMMIT! Now where are my shoes I lost my phone...

lifestudent said...

I know its ok to run when pregnant, but bowl? Hmm....

I hope you checked with with your doctor about that first ;)

Marlene said...

On your small frame, I wonder how long it will be before it looks like you have a bowling ball under your shirt? :)

Carly said...

Ha! That is funny. I think I always bowl better with a little beer in me. Pull out the near beer and see if that perks the team up.

Shannon said...

It's a sad state of affairs when you have to twist those guys arms to drink!

Brianna said...

Those teammates of yours owe it to you to pick up the slack!

AKA Alice said...

I think your teammates should agree to drink your usual share of the beer...there's a certain karma in that isn't there?

BTW...if you ever get desperate (I did) O'Douls (non-alcoholic beer) isn't too bad.

Jess said...

Hahaha good luck with the new quarter! I hope your teammates pick up the drinking slack.

nwgdc said...

Just go over to Viper's page and read a couple posts. The alcohol coming off his words and breath should get you buzzing at least a bit.

Marcy said...

Ahhhh but water is so good! OK so it's not the same as alcohol . . .

Viv said...

LOL@ their income has suffered! Halrious post Jess! Hope you all have a better season even with you sober.

Brooke said...

LOL this is my greatest fear about future pregnancy! I'm scared to have kids and have to give up wine. Sad, huh? :)

Heather said...

I think I bowl best with about 3 to 5 beers in me - anything less, and it just falls apart. Anything more, and I start dropping the ball on my feet. Have fun!

Wes said...

Maybe you could, oh, I don't know, hand them the beer and stare at them until they drink! Lame, I know, but its worth a try!

SJ Goody said...

So what you're saying is that you are the drinking enabler! I love it. Its funny... over the holidays we had a millions parties to go to and I was obviously the DD... so I encouraged to Kevin to light it up and have a good time... and he'd end up barely drinking. Strange!

TNTcoach Ken said...

Taking one for the team, U go tot luv it. I think I'll go get a beer right now! Ha, you have the weather but I have the beer!

Adam said...

Gosh, you are going to get really popular really fast being a default Designated Driver!!

Janice {Run Far} said...

hello there, I stumbled across your blog...
Love it.
I ran while pregnant with both of my daughters. I usually stayed on the treadmill in fear of being out in the middle of no where and having something happen. Are you training for anything while preg or just running to keep running? I tried to train for the Salt Lake City marathon with my sec but man, I got the morning sickness so bad with her. Good luck.

Viper said...

It's sad that your bowling will suffer for another nine months, but here's the "here, here" to your "stop being pussies" cheer. Erm ... Cheers.

sRod said...

I know it's gross, but what about non-alcoholic beer?