We finished our second quarter of league last week in 29th place. Out of 36 teams. It's not last place, but it's close enough.
In the past two months, our team's bowling has plummetted. And the reason? I'm not drinking. Seriously, that's the only conclusion I can draw. If Jess doesn't drink, the team goes downhill.
Now, I wish I could remedy this with a hearty bucket of Bud Light for tonight's bowling, but unless I want my un-born child to have FAS and later answer his or her questions about why mommy loved beer more than his or her fetal development, then we will have to figure out a new way for us to win. Logically, just because I'm not drinking it doesn't mean that the others on the team can't drink (in fact, you'd think Jerry would be hittin' the sauce extra hard since he has a guaranteed sober cab), but for some reason, without me pounding down the beers, I've found my team's liquor performance (and bar tab) to be dismal.
So, for tonight, it's a fresh start for us as a team. New quarter, new chance to kick ass! And I'm sure that both the bartender and the waitress (both of whom's income has suffered some since our team's drinking decline) are with me when I say to my teammates: Don't be pussies! Order beer! We need a win, dammit!
As for me, I'll be drinking water. Whooppee!