Happy 4th of July and Congrats!

First of all: Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans! Today is Jerry's favorite holiday. For him, the 4th is like Christmas+Halloween+his birthday all rolled in to one. Why does he love it so much? Simple. TNT.

He takes boyish delight in lighting things and watching them explode. So, he's been waiting for today since, oh, about July 5th of 2008. He's got a Rubbermaid container filled to the brim with fireworks, he's got a case of beer, and he's ready for the fun to begin later this afternoon. Cross your fingers I won't have to cart him to the emergency room later.

In other big news, I want to congratulate my brother, Matt, on getting engaged yesterday! Here he is with future wife, and my future SIL, Heather, back in March when they came to visit us here in FL:
I knew he had bought a ring and was going to ask her this weekend, but it was still exciting to get the call from him last night announcing their engagement. I'm so happy for them both.

Of course, I wanted to crack a joke about how getting engaged is the opposite way of celebrating "Indepedence Day," but you'll be happy to know I refrained.

Friday Beach Day

After a full week of rain, the clouds finally parted, and it was perfect weather for the beach today. So, Jerry and I went to enjoy the sun, sand, and surf for a few hours this morning and early this afternoon.

Now, I think I may go take a nap. Something about doing absolutely nothing but sitting on the beach makes me sleepy...

FYI

Remember about a month ago when I posted that I had a short story accepted for publication?

Well, it's in the current issue of the magazine, so if you're interested in taking a gander, you can go here and click on "current stories"; there's only two there right now, and mine is titled "The Infirmary."

After you read it, I expect a 500 word essay that discusses its symbolism on my desk by next week.

Kidding. I don't want to read an essay for the next 4 months! But you can leave questions, commentary, praise, and agent offers in the comments section here. If you have criticism, you can keep that to yourself ;)

More Norah Stuff

Just when I had finished project "wash and organize everything of Norah's," guess what arrived? Another box, courtesy of my MIL, filled to the brim with everything from more clothes to toys, bibs, socks, and shoes. Really, I'm not complaining about the loot (and, if she keeps it up, maybe we won't ever have to buy our daughter clothes), but it was the timing -- it took me a week of laundry to get everything else washed and sorted. Anyway, I set to work on organizing the box load of stuff today, and I think she has enough bibs to last all of her babyhood and she has enough clothes to, perhaps, never have to repeat outfits; plus, one funny thing I discovered is that, so far, she has 6 swimsuits! (I guess a FL girl needs lots of beachwear!) Thankfully, they are all in different sizes, and here are 3 of my favorites so far:

Scooter insists on "helping" me sort stuff, and he seems to sense when I'm doing something that's focused on the baby because he inserts himself right in the middle of the task. Someone is going to be a teensy bit jealous once she arrives.

Anyhoo...after talking with the MIL, I learned she had already taken the time to wash everything, so I really just had to sort it and put it away. But, I have come to the conclusion that Norah does NOT need any more stuff (for the time being). She has one dresser full; she has this (below) supplementary dresser full, and she already has a stored Rubbermaid full of stuff that is for when she's bigger.
Also, this bookshelf (below) was originally intended for BOOKS, but because she's already got so many toys, it's been filled mostly with those, which if Scooter has his way, it may be good she has so many because he would love to take some of those plush animals and keep them in his own toy basket.

And, lastly, I think it's safe to say that she has enough bath toys to entertain a small army of children. Although, I have to admit that I have special love for the little zoo of bathtime animals.

So, yeah, I think it's safe to say that we do NOT need any more baby stuff!

Unless of course, someone wants to donate a mountain of diapers...I think we will need plenty of those.

Another Rainy Day Dash

This evening, Jerry, Scooter and I went for a long walk, and we were on our way home, about a half a mile away, when the skies again opened up and poured on us. So, we figured, why not make a run for it again?

So, we ran the rest of the way home. Fortunately, this time, I was a bit more suitably attired for the run as I was wearing running shorts and my running shoes, but Jerry hadn't dressed as appropriately and he ran that half mile in his flip flops.

We arrived home soaked, in the same manner that we had ended up on Sunday, but I have to admit the run felt pretty good, and it really has me wondering if Mother Nature is trying to hint at something...

...hmmmm, I'll have to think on that.

When we got home, Jerry and I both changed into dry clothes, but Scooter chose to dry himself on the living room rug: I suppose it does kinda look like a giant towel, doesn't it?

Last Baby Class

The subject of our final baby class last night was drugs.

To which I say, "Yes, please."

Actually...it's not quite as simple as that. See, I really want the best of both worlds: I would like pain relieving drugs, but I would also like mobility and freedom. But you can't have both: It's either take the drugs and be strapped to the bed, or refuse the drugs and be free to walk, stand, squat, whatever best suits you. In the end, I'm sure I'll want the epidural and the IV just because, well, I haven't had a pain reliever stronger than Tylenol in the past 9 months and I'd appreciate a little numbing at this point, but I do wish there were some better compromise.

And so, that ended "baby class." Thank god. I mean, it was a good class, and there was a lot of helpful information, but I just wish it could have been condensed and crammed into one day (there are lots of hospitals that offer a one day, all day class, but ours isn't one of them) because stretching the classes out over the course of 3 weeks is tedious.

But in the end, even if we forget most of this stuff over the next 6 weeks, it did help make me feel better informed and better prepared.

Rainy Day Dash

This afternoon, Jerry and I decided we'd take Scooter to the dog park to run around some while we walked the "loop" -- the asphalt path that circles the park. When we left, it was sunny, but clouds were building on the horizon, and ten minutes later when we pulled into the parking lot of the park, the clouds were looking dark and ominous, but we decided to get out and fit in as much park time as we could.

We managed to walk about 3 loops when it began to drizzle, so we ducked under a pavilion and decided to wait it out. A few minutes later, the rain let up, and we decided to give it another go.

So, we got to the far end of the park when the clouds opened up and poured rain. Without a nearby pavilion, we chose to make a run for it all the way back to the car, so Scooter, Jerry and I ran across the park, out the park and down the path to the parking lot, and across the parking lot before we got to hop into the car -- soaking wet.

That was probably the most running I've done in two weeks.

New Chair

The last thing I wanted to get for the baby's room, before she arrives, was some kind of glider or rocking chair. But guess what? Everything we'd seen was pretty pricey, but then I found what I was looking for at an affordable price, so Jerry and I went and got it last night:It's pretty dang comfy, and I think it will work well for nursing, and rocking Norah to sleep, and until she comes, it might even be a nice reading chair! Here are Jerry and Scooter demonstrating its comfort: Looks nice, right?

Marathon Analogy

So, yes, watching the birth video was gross, but the good news is that I don't have to see that for myself, and I will have the emotional attachment to the moment and to the baby that will help eliminate the disgusting factor.

Plus, after thoroughly becoming aquainted with all the stages of labor, I can really draw a lot of parallels between it and running a marathon. Both seem to require the same physical and mental endurance, and even as we were discussing the stages of labor in class, I could identify the parts of the race:

Early labor will probably be like the first few miles of the race: I'll be excited that it's finally happening and I'll still be fresh because we're at the beginning.

Active labor will be, I suspect, like the middle miles -- somewhere between the 10-18 mile markers -- getting tired of doing this and requiring lots of encouragement and support.

Transition looks to me like "the wall" -- the point when your body says "no more" and you have to have the mental fortitude to press forward and believe you can do it. I think this will most likely be the most frustrating point, and I'm guessing I will need a lot of quiet concentration. Jerry will most certainly annoy me at this juncture (I just picture him doing something, like cracking his knuckles -- which already drives me nuts, and me snapping at him). Just like at about mile 22 or 23, how the spectator encouragement just makes you want to yell back at them, "Shut the fuck up!"

The actual end part of labor, the pushing, seems like the last .2 miles: You know the finish line is just ahead, you suddenly feel like you're making progress, and you know you are going to succeed. The frustration, anger, and pain you felt just a few miles ago evaporates. And before you know it, you're crossing the finish line.

And then holding the baby will be like getting that medal placed around my neck: All of sudden, the whole thing won't seem so bad, and the sense of accomplishment, pride, and joy will overtake any pain or exhaustion.

So, I think I just need to keep this analogy in mind, and know that if I can do 26.2 miles, I will be able to do this as well.

The "Scary" Video

After watching the birth video in baby class last night, I turned to Jerry and asked, "So, what'cha think?"

His response?

"Well, I'm not gonna want chicken parmesean for a long time."

True dat.

Wednesday Randomness

• Thanks for the encouragement regarding labor/delivery. I'm sure I have the physical and mental fortitude for it, but like most daunting events, I think the anticipation is worse than the actual event itself.
• Mrs. K requested a link to the story of when I pooped myself, so here it is.
• This morning, I had another doctor check up, and again everything checked out well. I gained another 2 lbs, so I'm up 21 lbs overall -- uffda! My blood pressure remains good with a 102/70, and I'm lucky to not have any swelling yet, and I'm also lucky that I haven't had any stretch marks form yet and the belly button hasn't popped out, so I'm crossing my fingers that neither happens in the last few weeks.
• Norah also checks out healthy: her HR is still steady and strong, and she's in the head down position. Her butt is pushing straight out in front of me, and her left foot is digging into my right side.
• Last night was my last night of my summer class, so now I just have to finish up my term grades, and then I don't return to work until October 20th!
• Lately, I've been working on washing all of Norah's clothes, blankets, towels, wash cloths, etc, and I have discovered that the root of the patented "baby smell" is Dreft.
• Why don't they make blankets for adults that are as soft as the blankets for babies? I would appreciate such softness.
• Scooter and I have been keeping at our daily walking, but lately, it's been dang hot out there. Over the weekend, we had highs in the low 100s, but yesterday we got some thunderstorms that helped cool things off some. Seems like it's awfully hot out there for June!
• Tonight, in baby class #5, we watch "the scary video." I suspect it will illicit the same reaction its kind did when we all watched something similar in about 7th grade.
• Leaving you with that ambiguously frightening mental image: Hope everyone enjoys a happy "hump" day!

Baby Class #4: Preparing for Labor

So, class last night and class this upcoming Wednesday both cover aspects of labor and delivery, and all I have to ask is: "Is it too late to request that the stork bring her?"

4 Year Blogoversary

Yesterday was my blog's 4 year blogoversary, but I wanted to post something special for Father's Day, so I delayed my celebration until today.

So, first, a little history: In 2005, when I started this blog, Jerry and I had just gotten engaged and we had just bought our condo and we were up to our eyeballs in the initial stages of renovation. At the time, I was still an adjunct professor, so I was teaching at 3 different colleges to string together a decent income, and I also briefly worked a few supplementary jobs to try and fill in my income gaps. And, sometimes I went for short runs.

I'd always toyed with the idea of making running something bigger in my life, and while I'd run a few 5Ks, I didn't have much of an idea about how to make running something I was more committed to.

At the time, I was reading the memoir "Julie and Julia" (soon to be a movie this summer); it's about a woman who decides to cook every recipe in Julia Child's "The Joy of Cooking" and while she's doing this experiment, she blogs about it. I didn't want to cook, but the thought of starting a blog seemed like an appealing way of tracking an experiment. Combine that inspiration with an article that I had read in RW at the time about forming a habit in 21 days, and you have the two ideas that merged into my creation of this space.

And now, here it is 4 years and 1,383 posts later.

In that time, a lot has happened. Certainly, there have been a lot of personal highlights:

• Jerry and I got married.
• We got Scooter.
• I got a full time faculty position at 1 college so I got to ditch all the other side jobs, and I finally started making a decent income.
• We finished remodeling our condo (took us two years!).
• We got pregnant.
• We've taken a lot of fun vacations and have spent a lot of good times with friends and family.

But there was a lot that I accomplished with running too:

• I completed the Disney Marathon.
• Ran 6 half marathons.
• Ran dozens of 5Ks.
• Ran just about every road race in between: 4 miler, 10K, 10 miler, 15K.
• Set and re-set my personal records.
• Ran while pregnant.

However, the past four years haven't been filled with just accomplishments and highlights; I've experienced many failures, lows, mishaps, and embarrassing incidents, personal and running related, as well:

• DNF at A1A HM in 2007.
• DNF at Chicago Marathon in 2007.
• Bad training runs.
• Went without power for 2 weeks after Hurricane Wilma.
• Fell on my face once.
• Pooped myself -- and I wasn't even running!
• Failed to achieve PRs at times when I was confident I should.
• Injury.
• Locked myself out of my car at a race once.
• Car accident, speeding tickets, parking tickets.
• Locked myself out of the house at least half a dozen times (about half those times were times when I had gone out running).
• Drunken bawdiness and other obnoxious behavior.
• Got fired from a job I only worked at for 3 weeks; quit several other supplementary jobs.

In all, it's been an eventful 4 years, and I've had a lot of fun sharing everything with the readers of this blog, many of whom have come and gone over the years, but I am always impressed with how supportive and encouraging the readers continue to be despite the fact that you guys are ever-changing.

I have no idea what the next few years have in store, or what/how blogging may change in that time, but I plan to continue to blog because I have lots more to tell you about. I don't know exactly what that will include, but I'm guessing it will be a mixture of the above accomplishments and highlights, as well as those failures, mishaps, and embarassing incidents. I hope you'll want to stick around and read about it all!

Ode to a Jer-Bear

First of all, a "Happy Father's Day" to all the dads and dads-to-be out there! I hope you guys are enjoying a splendiferous day!

I love both my dad and my stepdad -- together they have both been very good fathers to me -- but today, I'd like to dedicate this post to my favorite man in the world: The Jer-Bear! While he's still 7 weeks away from becoming an official father, I know Jerry is going to be a wonderful dad, and I think our daughter will be lucky to have a father like him! So, Happy Dad-To-Be Day Jerry! Scooter, Norah, and I are blessed to have you.

Love,
Jess

33 Weeks: Feeling Gianter and Gianter

Childhood Toys

When we were at baby class on Wednesday night, with our practice bear, I couldn't help but notice how many people had Cabbage Patch Kids with them. Not new ones. Ones that were clearly from their own childhoods. This kinda surprised me. I mean, I had a CPK too when I was a kid, but my mom is not the sort to save much.

Whenever we outgrew some toys or clothes, she cleaned through them pretty quickly. My mom is just not a sentimental person, and I suppose I'm not really either. And I don't care much about the CPK, but I do wish she had saved my brother and I's Star Wars toys. We had everything: A stuffed Wicket, the Ewok village, x-wing fighters, the Millennium Falcon, light sabers, you name it, they were awesome toys. I'm sure they wouldn't be worth anything today because my brother and I were rough on toys, but still, they'd be cool to have.

Instead, the only item I have left from my childhood is this stuffed animal: Big Kitty. It's a sad lookin' kitty isn't it? I think some relative made it for me when I was born, and as a kid, I did love Big Kitty. I used to hold her by her neck and suck my thumb. (FYI: I sucked my thumb until 1st grade, and I only stopped then because I fell off the monkey bars and bit through my tongue, and it was just too painful to continue the thumb sucking.) So, that's why she has no stuffing in her neck anymore. And this crude surgical incision?

When I was about 8, I tried to open Big Kitty up to stuff more stuffing in her, but I botched the surgery, and she came out rather mangled. But At least she folds up easily now.

So, since Wednesday evening, when I observed how many people had saved something like their CPKs, I have been pondering: What will I save of Norah's? Will she have some favorite toys or clothes that I hold onto? Certainly, I would like to hold onto a few of her things just because I wish my mother had kept a few of my things (I mean, I had a totally rad sweater with R2D2 embroidered on the back, who wouldn't want to hang on to that?), but I also tend to be a thrower. I guess I'll have to find a way to balance that instinct.

Do you guys have any toys saved from childhood? Did you save anything special of your kids'?

Baby Class #3: Infant Care

Last night in our baby class, it was a crash course in everything we need to know to take care of the baby: So, first we had the bejesus scared out of us about drowning and SIDS, then we learned everything from how to bathe them and take care of that nasty umbilical cord to trimming their fingernails to changing their diapers.

The best part of the class was the "hands on" experience when we practiced swaddling and diaper changing. We had to bring in a doll or stuffed animal for this, and we only had a stuffed bear that someone gave us as a shower gift, but I think it was appropriate since before we knew Norah was girl, we referred to her as Little Baby Bear. So, here's Jerry demonstrating the swaddle with LBB: Apparently, he can do it with his eyes closed. Awww, look at that burrito-ized bear! All snuggled up. Jerry has mad swaddling-skillz; I told him that since he's so proficient at it, he can be in charge of it when Norah arrives.

And, here's Jerry practicing his diaper changing prowess. Turns out, our bear's butt was a large booty for the newborn diaper we were provided with, so it was a tight fit, but Jerry made it work.

The only problem is that if this bear wants to feel her legs, she's gonna have issues, because I'm pretty sure the circulation was cut off to her lower extremities.

But, he did a better job than I did. When I put the diaper on, I didn't get it fitted around the bear's big booty very well, and it slipped off her butt. I guess I get a FAIL in diaper application.

Barfisode

This afternoon, I made myself what seemed to be a delightful little afternoon snack: some fresh raspberries topped with some vanilla yogurt. I ate it, it was good, but soon after, my stomach started to feel upset. I went about the few tasks I was engaged in, and I just kept feeling ickier and ickier. So, I laid down on the couch for a moment.

But then there was the distinct saliva and the gagging, and I knew I had just seconds before I reached the "point of no return," so I had to run for the bathroom and I puked up my raspberries and yogurt. (It truly felt like such a waste of such good fruit!)

And I have to admit that I also had a similar barfisode last week following dinner one evening. No raspberries were harmed in that barfisode, though.

This sucks. I haven't been nauseous since about week 20, and I figured that once it passes, it's gone for good. Turns out I was wrong.

After a quick Google search, I learned that nausea can return in the 3rd trimester (or, for some women, occur for the first time), but for different reasons than the nausea of the 1st trimester. I guess it most commonly occurs shortly after eating since the uterus is pushing against the stomach and compressing it; this can lead to puking for some women -- along with the lovely heartburn, which is the result of the same thing -- so, isn't this just delightful news!

Thankfully, I still have a few random cans of Ginger Ale in the back of the refrigerator, so after slowly sipping on one of those for a bit and then eating some crackers, I feel just fine again.

I'm crossing my fingers that these two recent pukecidents remain isolated events and that I don't return to the regular nausea that plagued me for so long. Because frankly, I don't really like Ginger Ale.

Baby Class #2: Massage

Last night, Jerry and I had session #2 of "baby class" and the primary topic was massage. So, we learned some basics about infant massage and how giving your baby little rub downs can be beneficial, and we learned a few "don'ts" about baby massage: Um, that place called the "soft spot"? Don't push on it. (But here's a helpful hint we learned: rubbing a baby's tummy in a clockwise motion can help relieve constipation. I guess it works for adults too, so if your pooper is stopped up, try giving yourself a belly rub. But, it has to be clockwise -- counter-clockwise is just, well, counter-productive.)

But the primary focus of the evening was really how spouses/partners can give the preggo a relaxing massage to help relieve all the complaints preggos have in the 3rd trimester and during labor. So, we learned four basic massage strokes, and what areas to focus on/what areas to avoid -- in the 1st and last trimester, a preggo is not supposed to have deep pressure applied to palms or heals because it can trigger early labor, but you can still have those areas rubbed, just no kneading.

The best part? The last 10 minutes of class, the men had to apply what they learned and give us preggos a short massage. Jerry was kind enough, when we got home, to go the extra distance and give me a full massage! Ahhhh, it was so nice, and incidentally, I slept SO well last night.

So, we learned a few things from the class, but on the whole, I would give its overall educational value a 4 out of 10. I don't think we needed to know the history of massage, and a few other things the instructor covered seemed superfluous, so I think the class could've been half as long as it was. Plus, something about half the phrases he used had me thinking "That's what she said!" after he said them, so it was kinda hard to suppress some childish giggling.

And in the end, I think Jerry and I were more focused on the kissy-lovey couple in front of us that we were distracted for most of the class. I mean, hey, it's nice to be affectionate with one another, but I thought they might start makin' love at one point; I guess the talk of massage got them all frisky. As Jerry commented on the way home: "You know they're the sort of people who got pregnant on their honeymoon!" And dude, I'm sorry, but her laugh? It's like the braying of a donkey!

Oh, one last anecdote: The instructor was talking about how massage can help you recover better after a workout, and he so he asks the class, "Ladies are you still exercising?" I nodded my head "yes," but I was surprised to hear most of the class, including donkey-laugher in front of me, emphatically say, "Nope!" So...maybe I don't feel so bad for switching from running to walking at 32 weeks!

Sob Story

Thank you so much for all the thoughtful and supportive comments for the previous post; I truly appreciate all the encouragement.

I think it's still gonna take me a few days though to come to terms with my frustration and disappointment, but that's just something I'm working through on my own. It may seem silly to spend time feeling guilty and upset over this decision, but what you have to understand is that running is, at this point, part of my identity, and it felt like one of the few parts of "me" that I have been able to hold onto through pregnancy. So, to give it up, albeit temporarily, is painful.

Additionally, I think I'd feel better about this decision if I felt as though I were coming to it because I was truly incapable of going further with the running; instead, I feel like I could keep at it except for my major impediment: the weather. I know, I know, lame to blame things on the weather, but it's largely true in this case. If it were December right now, I think I could plug along for a least a few more weeks, but because it's June and it's broiling out there, running is just that much more difficult.

To give you an idea of June's (and the rest of the summer's) heat: It is currently 4:30 in the afternoon and it's 97 F out, with a dew point of 71 F. Granted, I never run in the summer at 4 pm, but with our constant humidity in the summer, even at o'dark thirty, it's not much cooler than that. And why do I mention dew point? I have discussed dew point many times before, most notably in this post last summer, but in short, dew point is the most accurate indicator of humidity in the air. And dew points that range from 70-75 F are considered extremely uncomfortable for outdoor exercise. (If you're curious about comparing the dew point in your area, just go to weather.com to see the day's forecast in your area; it lists the dew point daily.)

Anyway, I digress. The point is: It's hot out there and lugging around 20 extra lbs of belly doesn't make running easy in such heat.

I know that the weather is out of my control, but I think that's partially why I'm frustrated by it interfering with my running at this point. If it were a factor I could control, I'd be able to alter some pattern of my own in order to better accommodate myself to running right now, but the fact of the matter is that this is largely out of my hands. So, I know I just have to accept my limitations, be proud of how long I was able to run for during my pregnancy, and move on. And I will, but I won't overnight.

And yes, like I said yesterday, I still plan to remain active, primarily by walking, and I have been walking everyday lately. In fact, Scooter and I walked 2 miles earlier today, and he's been in recovery ever since :)