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Friday, June 13, 2014

The 30 Second Rule

30 seconds after you clean a sliding glass door: Kids will smoosh their sticky faces all over it.  Maybe lick it too.

30 seconds after ensuring that they're zombified in front of the tv, with enough snacks to last through the end of times, and enough water to float the ark, and you hop in the shower: Kids will be climbing counters to reach weapons to arm themselves for a knife fight.

30 seconds into any phone call: Kids will begin screaming, dog will start howling, something will catch on fire.

30 seconds in to any drive: Kids will inquire "are we there yet?"

30 seconds after asking, "Do you have to use the potty?" and you've been told they absolutely do NOT: Kids will grip themselves and race to the toilet.  Probably won't make it in time.

30 seconds after you've finished cleaning the kitchen after a meal: Kids will ask for a snack.

30 seconds after you're certain they will never fall asleep for the night and this awake-ness is a fresh hell they invented just for you: Kids will pass out cold.

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