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Friday, April 24, 2009

Listening In

This evening, Jerry and I went to the cheap theater to see "I Love You, Man." As I've explained before, the cheap theater runs pretty new movies for just $3 a ticket (.99 on Tuesdays!), but the theater is lacking in some quality, and most significantly, it is situated in the heart of "old people country," so the theater's primary patrons are the elderly who drive their various Lincolns and Cadillacs over from the nearby retirement community. Afterall, FL is God's Waiting Room, and if you combine things like a good deal with just about any other element, you're gonna draw moths to the flame. (Seriously, we don't go there for the .99 Tuesday deal because it's like a mob scene it's so popular.)

However, we will gladly take the old people over the teenagers any day, so the cheap theater is usually our "go to" theater for most movies. Sure, we usually have to ignore the unwrapping of butter scotches throughout the film, but other than that, the elderly are usually pretty quiet viewers.

Except for the couple behind us tonight.

I wish there were some way for me to type their thick New York accents, but really, I have no written way of conveying their stereotypical accent, but that was a huge part of the humor as we listened to them talk through. the. entire. movie. They commented on the plot of the movie as it moved along, as well as on the characters, but what was funniest was their frequent misunderstanding of parts of the movie.

For example, "I Love You, Man" relies heavily on some crude humor, and it certainly doesn't seem like the type of movie that would appeal to the elderly audience, but what we've discovered about old people movie-goers is this simple fact: They go to see everything. And I mean everything. They don't care what it's about or who's in it. It costs $3. They go.

Anyhoo...I don't want to ruin any parts of the movie for those who might want to go and see it, but there was one part that sparked the following conversation behind us:

Old Man: "What'd he just say?"

Old Woman: "I don't know, something about 'feces.'"

Old Man: "'Faces'?"

Old Woman: "No, 'feces.'"

Old Man: "Like poop?"

Old Woman: "Yes, something about poop."

I swear, at some points, Jerry and I were laughing just as much at those two behind us as we were at the movie.

In the end, the cheap theater may only cost $3 a ticket, but the entertainment value is truly priceless!

19 comments:

Mrs. K said...

If you go to the one in Mizner you get the same crap- no pun intended :)

Marlene said...

$3? Nice! We can't see a movie around here for less than 15.

I can't stand people talking through movies, but it sounds like those old folks were pretty amusing!

sara said...

$3? WOW. i'd take the butterscotch wrappers and running commentary in a thick New York accent over the $12 we pay out here any day.

and i'm right there with you ... sometimes my friends laugh at a movie so hard i just start laughing at them.

Run Sarah said...

$3 is awesome and haha, those old people sound hilarious.

Stuart said...

Old people are just plain funny!

Kristen said...

This is a great story! :)

I would love a $3 theater!

Oz Runner said...

we've got you beat, we have a $2.50 theater, and very few old people with thick NY accents talking through the movie...

chia said...

It always amazes me when old couples still have stuff to talk about. It's like... after all that time wouldn't you be bored?

Shannon said...

Hilarious! What is going to a movie like again?!?

Erin said...

If that was Jerry's birthday gift to you...he needs to try a little harder. I am not sure that compares to the Coach gifts of the past ;) Actually, I have known what your birthday present is for months. Pretty nice! Bet you can't wait for it to arrive (and no, it's not the baby but that is what Ryan loved to tell me my presents were the whole time I was pregnant and still).

X-Country2 said...

HA! I can only imagine the unintentional humor of that place. $3 well spent!

teacherwoman said...

That is too funny!

Amanda said...

You are not kidding about God's waiting room. I was on one of those small planes flying into FL once, and I swear I was the only person under 85 on the plane. I was afraid I accidentally boarded the plane to the afterlife!!

Wes said...

We had some folks from Dade County Georgia come in for a soccer match Thursday night. I know just what you mean :-) I haven't been that entertained in quite a while!

Marcy said...

Is this the same theater that some old lady ripped one real loud last year? (Don't ask me why I remember that but I do) Totally worth the price HAHA!

Agate Lake Girl said...

I have overheard similar conversations there... and you're right they will go to ANY movie!

MN Mom said...

Catching up on some reading...yes the old folks at the dollar show are worth the price! (Gee at 60 I have to include myself in the old folks comment don't I!)

sRod said...

Ha ha ha!! That is twice the value for your $3! Fantastic. I wish I had old people movie theaters around here, instead we only have the annoying teenyboppers.

P.O.M. said...

I wish we had a $3 theater. No such luck.