This evening, Jerry and I went to the cheap theater to see "I Love You, Man." As I've explained before, the cheap theater runs pretty new movies for just $3 a ticket (.99 on Tuesdays!), but the theater is lacking in some quality, and most significantly, it is situated in the heart of "old people country," so the theater's primary patrons are the elderly who drive their various Lincolns and Cadillacs over from the nearby retirement community. Afterall, FL is God's Waiting Room, and if you combine things like a good deal with just about any other element, you're gonna draw moths to the flame. (Seriously, we don't go there for the .99 Tuesday deal because it's like a mob scene it's so popular.)
However, we will gladly take the old people over the teenagers any day, so the cheap theater is usually our "go to" theater for most movies. Sure, we usually have to ignore the unwrapping of butter scotches throughout the film, but other than that, the elderly are usually pretty quiet viewers.
Except for the couple behind us tonight.
I wish there were some way for me to type their thick New York accents, but really, I have no written way of conveying their stereotypical accent, but that was a huge part of the humor as we listened to them talk through. the. entire. movie. They commented on the plot of the movie as it moved along, as well as on the characters, but what was funniest was their frequent misunderstanding of parts of the movie.
For example, "I Love You, Man" relies heavily on some crude humor, and it certainly doesn't seem like the type of movie that would appeal to the elderly audience, but what we've discovered about old people movie-goers is this simple fact: They go to see everything. And I mean everything. They don't care what it's about or who's in it. It costs $3. They go.
Anyhoo...I don't want to ruin any parts of the movie for those who might want to go and see it, but there was one part that sparked the following conversation behind us:
Old Man: "What'd he just say?"
Old Woman: "I don't know, something about 'feces.'"
Old Man: "'Faces'?"
Old Woman: "No, 'feces.'"
Old Man: "Like poop?"
Old Woman: "Yes, something about poop."
I swear, at some points, Jerry and I were laughing just as much at those two behind us as we were at the movie.
In the end, the cheap theater may only cost $3 a ticket, but the entertainment value is truly priceless!