The Diet

I don't diet well, I know this. I can exercise like a fiend in the gym: running and lifting weights, but then I'll go home and eat a bowl of ice cream, or stop by the Taco Bell drive thru. I completely undo all that hard work by gorging. I especially can't help myself at night. I think it's because I'm just laying around reading or watching TV in the evening and that's when I go for the good stuff.

So, through my new gym, I get to go to their website and they have all these shopping lists and meal plans that you can use to try and eat healthier. However, accompanying these meal plans are all these other worksheets to that you're supposed to fill out to help you contemplate the way you eat. Those are a bunch of malarchy. "How do you feel when you look in the mirror?" "Do you feel like people treat you different because of your weight?" "What do you feel when you eat too much?"

All those "feelings" make me want to puke. I feel full when I eat too much and I usually curse myself. I feel that people think I'm awesome and I don't really think anyone notices how tubby I am because they're all thinking about how tubby they feel. I'm the only one who really thinks I should lose any weight. And the mirror? Well, my mirror has been bribed to lie to me. It requires a healthy chunk of income to keep that mirror happy (he's a selfish bastard), but some of us do what we have to do -- I'm no Snow White.

Perhaps I could actually lose some weight if I bought into the weight loss cult mentality, but I both embrace and reject all its rhetoric, and those kind of ambivilant feelings are not what will take off the pounds.

Maybe I just need better clothes.