To Resolve or Not to Resolve

That is the question.

It is New Year's Eve and most are probably thinking over what they will resove to change in the forthcoming year. In years past I have always resolved to not resolve. I never like to make promises I won't keep (especially to that all important person, myself), so I have vowed year after year to not change anything, and to always remain the same. Yet, this year has me thinking differently.

I usually reserve my panic about my life and what I have or have not accomplished in my time on Earth for birthdays. Last year that led to a list of five things I want to do before I'm thirty: get married (check), run a marathon (goddammit, I'm working on that), publish a book (starting to feel like a distant dream), go to Italy (must remember to start saving for that), and find a job I enjoy (or that pays me really well). I have a whole list of other things I'd like to learn or do as well that include learning to rock out on the drums, take dance lessons, sky dive, and learn a foreign language (I mean really learn it, not just be capable of asking where the bathroom is).

But I've been thinking that this year will be the year that I decide to work toward these goals at the start of the new year instead of waiting until my birthday (besides, this year I turn an even number and I always feel good about turning an even number -- it's the odd years that prompt me to think about my life). The new year is the perfect time for a resolution; a fresh leaf, a new start, a beginning, because tommorow is not just another day -- it's a new year! So, what will I resolve?

I can't get more married and I am working on that marathon dream. Italy is probably a year away, but we could count my change jar as a savings account for that. My job? Well, I don't hate teaching, I just wish I got paid more to do it. So I either need to find a full time position, or I need to go back to school for my PhD; that's what I've decided. I have applications in for both. I'll let you know what happens. So, it comes down to the book. Publish a book.

Publish a book. Hmmm, such a commitment. Can I do it? Is it feasible? Do I dare resolve to work toward that? Such a big endeavor (even if it is written and sitting in my desk drawer). Hmmm, this will be an all day consideration. Let you know tomorrow.