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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I Can't Sleep

This happens from time to time: A touch of insomnia. Nothing in particular keeping me awake, just can't fall asleep. Like I said, it happens occasionally and I just roll with it. So, what to do with my waking hours? Finished my book, so here I am -- on the blogs.

And MPA had a meme of "7 random things" on her blog and she sorta tagged us all, so I figured that might help while away my time. However, I have trouble with the "random" aspect, so I figured I'd modify it for my own purposes. And what will that purpose be, you ask? Well, I figure there are already many random things you people know about me, but on the whole, I try to cast myself in a positive light. I show you my good side, if you will. (I often think of the blog as a first date -- that's why I don't touch subjects like religion or politics on here even though I have definitive thoughts on both -- politeness, humor, amusing anecdotes, these are what I strive for.)

But, since we're on like the 900-something-th date by now, I suppose I should reveal some of the not-so-pretty truths about Jess. So, here are "7 things I'm NOT proud of":

1. I sucked my thumb until I was in 1st grade. And I only stopped because I fell off the monkey bars and bit through my tongue, thus making the thumb-sucking too painful to continue. The result of 6, almost 7, years of thumb-sucking? Intensive orthodontia as a pre-teen.

2. I add everything in relationship to the number 12. An example: If you asked me to add 7 + 8 together, the following would be my thought process. I'd start with thinking of 8, then knowing that 8 +4 = 12, I'd add the 4 part of 7 to 8 and then add the other part of 7 (which is 3) to that and...viola! 15. Needless to say, I am what you could call a "math-tard"; basically, I suck at math.

3. The first time I got high I was in 7th grade and I did so by huffing gasoline. It was myself and 3 friends, and we used the gas from a gas can one of my friends took out of his dad's shed (it was gas for the lawnmower). I remember being high and laying in a field staring at the stars. The moment, and especially the stars, seemed profound at the time.

4. I used to shoplift. It started when I was in high school with small things like make up and cheap jewelry from places like Claire's. Then it got much riskier. I stole clothing (lots of it: shirts, bras, underwear, dresses, even socks and pantyhose). I stole sunglasses, picture frames, perfume. I even stole a gift for my mom on Mother's Day one year. I stopped doing it sometime it college.

5. I once broke up with a high school boyfriend simply by ignoring him. Just decided one day to stop talking to him. Stopped receiving his calls, etc. Never gave him a reason, nothing. Just stopped talking to him. At school, he'd try to talk to me, and I'd just walk past him or walk away. Eventually, he gave up. He used to pass me in the hall and give me this hang-dog look that must've been pitiful, but at the time, I found it nauseating. In retrospect, this seems like one of the cruelest things I've ever done.

6. When I was 16, I did a hit-and-run. Don't worry, I got punished for it. Cops found me. Worse yet, my mother found me. I was in deep shit.

7. I talk on my cell phone while driving. A lot. This one feels particularly hypocritical since whenever I see some driver swerving slightly or going slower than other traffic and I observe that he/she is on the cell, I say things like: "Damn person driving and yakking on that cell!" But, then when I'm by myself, I do the same thing. Thing is? I get kinda bored in the car by myself.

So that's it for now, folks. If you'd like to tag yourself, go ahead. You don't have to do mine, you can do the "7 random things," or you can even adapt the list how you see fit. That's the wonder of having your own blog.

I think I'll go give sleep another try now. Nighty-night.

23 comments:

Ryan said...

Bravo. A unique post that I have not yet seen done before. Its nice to see that other people weren't exactly angels growing up.

June said...

#5 is what Baggage Reclaim calls the NCR. No Contact Rule.

I'm doing it right now. And I am in my 40's and it doesnt seem cruel at all. Actually it seems to be nice considering what asshole did to me. Again.

Hope you got some sleep dear Jess.

Marcy said...

Ahhhh see, Wendy will probably love the number 2 LOL

Huffing always seemed so scary to me. But smoking a joint is so much better for you, right? LMAO!

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

Very brave post.

We love you anyway.

Truth is, we all have things we're not proud of, just some of us aren't brave enough to admit our faults.

Hope you were able to get to sleep.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Confessions of an insomniac....

Very brave. Mine are too bad to put out there. (and it took me a lot longer to grow up.)

We do still love you!

keith said...

Damn, girl. You should have a tear-drop tattoo under your eye.

But then again, so should I.

AnthonyP said...

Love your late night thought process. I'm still trying to figure out your math thinking.

Ted said...

I am glad you admit that you inhale it, not exhale it. Wow - don't fret. My rap sheet is longer than yours! Thanks for sharing your confession with us. Next time, get some Lunesta.
BTW - What did you hit while driving? A runner?

J~Mom said...

I do something very similar with numbers. And here I thought it was some sort of math logic. LOL

Viv said...

Loved the seven, Jess they were so real. Man, that one about ignoring the boyfriend had me laughing. I guess my cruelness just came out. I stole food during spring break one year since we spent all our money on booze. I hope you can back to a regular sleep pattern. it's the holiday it makes sleep wacky.

Laura N said...

A good read, Jess. I really respect your honesty.

Who is SLB+? said...

Way to put yourself out there. I have a couple of dittos but none of it counts if you don't get caught...oh yeah you did, oh well!

ws said...

I hope you were able to get some sleep. As per Marcy's comment - I did enjoy #2 - I do similar calculations while running...keeps the brain synapses active. Or at least I tell myself that because it is more comforting than thinking I'm insane.

I huffed rubber cement in high school airbrush class. I have no idea why we needed rubber cement, but apparently we did. Silent treatment is amazingly destructive...who knew.

Betsy said...

Wow. Killer post.

P.O.M. said...

Whoooo - you were a bad little monkey :) It's amazing that we make it thru our youth most of the time.

Jess said...

Brave post is right. Thanks for sharing. Like everyone else said, no one is perfect all the time.

Christine said...

I sucked my thumb till 5th grade. Gotcha beat! I also used to shoplift...no hit and run..but I got caught driving when I was 13...stole the rents car.

teacherwoman said...

Very interesting, Jess! Thanks for sharing!

Crystal said...

I'm gonna have to keep a closer eye on you now that I have a peak into your past ;)

RunnerGirl said...

Well, my sister and I were both thumb suckers until 1st (or maybe second??) grade as well. My mom and dad tried everything, we just couldn't give it up!

Great post, thanks for sharing!

Kim said...

ehm i sucked my pointer finger! is that weird or...????

miss petite america said...

what a sordid past you have! :)

Scott said...

Not sure if the calculations you do make you a math-tard or a genius.:)