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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Love and Marriage

When Erin and I walk once a week, it's a good chance for me to get exercise that's not running, it's good for the dogs to get a long walk, and it's good exercise for our mouths -- we really exhaust the last one there. So, last night, we were laughing and talking about the things that annoy us about our husbands -- something about Amy's post yesterday sparked us to gab about the annoying habits our husbands possess.

So, last night in bed, I was telling my husband this and listing for him the things that he does that annoy me (yeah, I must be a joy to be with) and then I told him he could list the things I do that annoy him. Thus, "the top 5" was born.

Top 5 Things My Husband Does that Annoy Me
  • Chew with his mouth open and slurp his drink. I swear, if I ever murder him, it will be during dinner time.
  • Throw his dirty clothes right next to or on top of the hamper. How hard is it to lift the lid and put them inside?!
  • He refuses to sleep under the same blankets as me. He says I'm too hot (something about sleeping next to "molten lava") and sometimes I even wake to find pillows wedged between us to keep my heat from creeping over and burning him, I suppose.
  • His obsessive lock checking.
  • He won't let me touch his butt. Seriously. I am not allowed to cup, carress, stroke, prod, poke, or fondle his posterior. It's off limits. I don't like boundaries. Sometimes I try to steal a quick feel -- that usually resuslts in an ass-argument.

Top 5 Things I do That Annoy my Husband

  • I'm a biter. Yup. And not the cute nibbling kind of bites. I like to bite down hard.
  • I don't respect the hands-off-the-ass rule.
  • I tell our friends and family embarassing stories about him (I have a feeling this post may not go over that great).
  • I never ask for help when cleaning or cooking. (I know this may sound weird, but I see his point.) I would rather do everything myself, do it my way, and have it take 3 times as long than to ask for his help, allow him to do things his way, and save myself the time. Plus, he thinks I vaccuum too many surfaces.
  • I tend to not "blindly agree" with him. So, if he's had a bad day and he's telling me about someone who really pissed him off at work, instead of me saying, "Oh, you are absolutely right, that guy is a bastard and I hate him because you hate him," I tend to argue the other person's side, "Well, hon, I can see his point..." I think the 2nd worst fight we ever had was over an incident like this where my husband ended up yelling at me: "We are a team! If I hate someone, you hate that person! Who do you hate? I'll start hating that person right now! That's what marriage is!"

There you go folks. A little window into our marriage.

So, my run for tonight? Another 5 miler. I'll give you the report on that afterwards. Have a happy hump day! Peace out.

23 comments:

Wes said...

Hilarious! The assticular region is off limits eh? LOL. All of a sudden, I AM grateful that Dee Dee doesn't blog :-)

David said...

Ah, marriage. It's a wonderful institution...


If you feel like being institutionalized! At the best of times they are a give-and-take relationship: give each other a hard time about stuff that probably doesn't matter, and take way too much crap about things that are just part of who we are. *sigh*

Oh, and BTW: I promise I wasn't insinuating you are a klutz, just that I wouldn't be too surprised to read about that situation in your blog as a "One time I was running for the elevator..." moment.

J~mom said...

These are fantastic. The last one that you listed that annoys your husband is absolutely something my DH does. He is all about what is right and not trying to make me feel good. I have to argue that I just want him to make me feel good sometimes.

Loved your post!

keith said...

marriage scares me. i think one of the best parts about not having committed up to this point is that i've been able to just terminate the relationships that have an over abundance of undesirable characteristics in them.

however...the fact that you can stick with someone despite the fact they chew with their mouth open (i once dumped someone because she belched regularly and unapologetically) and have that give and take can only make the bond stronger, right? i find that admirable. and wonder if maybe i'm going about it all wrong and should find someone to stick through things with.

god, i cant wait to start training again so i can forget about all that!

good luck, you crazy kids.

Gotta Run said...

How great!! Love the list adn relate to so many of them. Makes me think about what my husband would say about me.

Man I need to be nicer to him!!!

ws said...

wait, how long have you been married? didn't you know about the posterior issue before?

are you officially tapering yet? Your midweek runs make part of me jealous (the side that would like to get extra sleep)...

Hands Off My Biscuits said...

So you're a moltenlavabuttgrabbingbiter then?!

I suppose it could be worse.

At least you're not a butt biter...

Nicole said...

My husband told me that if it happened when we didn't have our clothes on, I am not allowed to share the story with others ;-)

simon said...

Hi there -- sorry I'm posting this right here (couldn't find your e-mail address).

I have been deeply inspired by your blog and now have started to write my own. I would be happy to have a few regular readers and therefore ask you if we could do a "link exchange"?

Please let me know whether you are interested. I live in Switzerland and am excited to find out if I can join the English speaking bloggers' community.

Best,

Simon

my blog is http://nastypredator.blogspot.com (not as scary as it sounds!)

Vanilla said...

I am so glad my wife's blog doesn't lend itself to personal posts such as this one. ;)

Funny stuff.

ws said...

you're 20 miler on saturday will be fine. you've done one great one you'll do another one.

my peak is supposed to be 60 miles, but I'm thinking about adding a 5th run (either one double day or a 5th day) for the next 4 weeks until my taper starts.

CollegeGirl said...

Well this whole off limits ass thing definitely doesn't apply to me! Seriously, every male I know grabs my ass. And not just a tap, a full on grab or smack. And it sort of baffles me, seeing as I have a really tiny posterior.

miss petite america said...

no butt touching!?!?!?!?!?!?! OMG isn't that like half the fun of being married!? i touch EVERYONE'S butt!!! wow. i think i would just feel so deprived!

and i'm all about the last one your hubby listed. i'm all about loyalty.

Marcy said...

My husband does the same thing (#1) It drives me up the wall!!! When I have PMS, I'm just like "Go in the other room." After 7 years of me harping on him it still doesn't register. I have NO idea how that one thing slipped through, because he's pretty darn anal about everything else LOL

This is a great post Jess!

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

Talking about the top 5 annoying things is probably very healthy. Are you going to make a top 5 things that you most like about the other person too?

teacherwoman said...

What a great couple of lists! Made me chuckle! There's just something about a guy's ass... makes one wanna reach out and grab it! HA!!!

Firefly's Running said...

I am SO guilty of being the OCD lock checker myself (but that other half has a very bad habit of leaving the door UNLOCKED when we go to bed.). Confession ended!

Very cute!

brunettechicagogal said...

Oh, my god -- that is so funny. I think it sounds like you two have a pretty healthy relationship. I'm not sure if I could handle not touching my husband (or boyfriend)'s ass, though. I mean, come on -- the ass is so nice to caress, cup, squeeze, etc!!!

Tough Cookie said...

This is hilarious! I'm going to do one of these myself.

JustJunebug said...

hee hee, I'm a biter too!

Non-Runner Nancy said...

It never occurred to me that there are biters!?!? I would have a hard time respecting the noasstouching rule as well. I totally get ya on that one.

I think this is really healthy, may consider trying this. Although we already do A LOT of *talking* !!

Mendy said...

I, too am an obsessive lock checker and am surprised David didn't jump on that as soon as he saw it.

Too funny about how he doesn't like his backend touched, and even funnier that you keep doing it.

Isn't marriage great...

P.O.M. said...

I can't wait until I'm married so I can write lists like this. I'm already starting to prepare it in my mind. (Note: I'm not even engaged yet)