Convos with my 3 yr old

A 3 yr old is a confluence of paradoxes: So fun to see them transform out of babyhood and into kidhood, but SO challenging to deal with on a daily basis.  I often feel like I'm trying to tame a wild orangutan.

Who has just been given a case of Fun Dip.  With Mt. Dew to wash it down.

And talking with a 3 year old?  That's a fun game too:

Me: "Why did you pee in your closet?"

Caleb: "Because I like peeing in my closet."

Me: "Well, don't do that anymore.  You only pee on the potty."

Caleb: "But my closet is better."

...

Caleb: "Mom, I want a giant hug!"

I squeeze him extra hard, enjoying that he asked for a big hug.

Caleb: "No, Mom, I want a giant to hug me.  You know: A big, BIG giant!"

...

After I was telling him to keep his pee in the potty, and not shoot it all over the wall , he argued: "It's not me, it's my penis!  It's SO strong."

...

Me: "Caleb, either go in or out!  I'm tired of the door hanging open."

Him: "Ugh, Mom, you frustrate me!"

...

Me: "No hitting!"

Him: "Just a little bit?"

Me: "Zero hitting."

Him: "A tiny hit?"

...

Caleb: "I wanna play outside."

Me: "Ok, go get shorts on."

Caleb: "I don't like shorts."

Me: "Then you can stay inside."

Caleb: "YOU go get my shorts."

Me: "I'm not getting your shorts.  You can do it."

Caleb: "My legs are too tired."

Me: "Your legs are too tired to go get your shorts, but you want to be able to go outside so you can run, climb, and ride bikes?"

Caleb: "Yes!"

...

Me: "Caleb, please don't take my bookmark out of my book.  Leave my book alone."

Caleb: "It wasn't me.  It was Scooter."

...

After examining a grate near a sidewalk, he asked: "Are there monsters in there?"
"Nope."
Him: "Lions?"