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Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Reason #32,487 Why I'm Gross

My sweat stinks.

Now, I know what you're thinking.  You're all: "Duh.  Everybody's sweat stinks!  Who do you think you are?  The Queen of Funky Stunky?"

Well, yes, I see your argument, but really.  My sweat REALLY stinks. 

After a run, I sometimes hug my husband, and he's like: "Ahhhh!  I'd rather snuggle a skunk!  Go shower!"

A shower is great for washing the sweat stink off ME, but my running clothes?  Pretty much all ruined by my reek.  Even after washing, these items emit a foul odor.

I know some of you will recommend an expensive sport detergent, or some of you will downplay the stench of my "clean" running clothes as mere hyperbole, and for those, I have two comments:

1.  I'm not paying extra money for fancy sport detergent.  Because running clothes are supposed to be vile with perspiration saturation.  That's the smell that informs other pedestrians that I'm "on the left."

2.  It's not overstatement.  It's fact.  Again, I'll refer you to my husband -- who is not a guy with a delicate nose -- who once told me to either leave my running shoes outside, or set them on fire because they were stinking up the bathroom.  And, you should smell what HE does in the bathroom!

So, there you have it: I exude a vile scent.  But, I'm not ashamed.  I just warn that you steer clear of me after a run.  I'll clear the room.


Kathee said...

Haha. That's funny! I don't really stink when I run but sometimes when I am working I get a really stinky sweat that even turns my shirt armpits yellow. So weird!
You go girl, be proud of that stank.

Helena said...

My hubby says the same... :(
Try soaking the kit in vinegar before washing, and don't use softener!

Erin Froyd said...

If you didn't stink I would be worried. :) And I agree, it's like a right of passage. Having crisp, clean workout clothes defeats the purpose.

Anonymous said...

A little white vinegar in the wash will do the trick.

PamKnits said...

I feel your pain! I wash my stuff in regular detergent plus 1/2 cup baking soda and those crystals that keep laundry smelling good. I fill the fabric softener dispenser with vinegar. I also spray vinegar on the underarms and crotch of my clothes right before I throw them in the washer. It all seems to work! Good luck!

PS: I'm so glad you're blogging again.

Kathleen Hayes said...

You're not the only one. But I am able to get the funk out of my running clothes, so maybe I'm just not funky enough. My favorite line: "That's the smell that informs other pedestrians that I'm 'on the left.'"

Carolina John said...

My wife always says that she was prepared for the workload that goes into Ironman training, but was in no way prepared for the SMELLS that come with ironman training. it's shocking, really. walking into the bathroom to find this morning's workout clothes drying on the towel rack while you're changing out of the evening workout clothes. ugh. Jerry is not alone!