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Thursday, August 02, 2012

Liquid Evil

After class today (last day of summer term -- woohoo!), I ran my 6 miles on the treadmill (boring but I did it -- woohoo!), and after that, I stopped at Target to pick up a few essentials. 

Did angels start singing softly in the background when you read the word "Target"? 

Yeah, me too. 

Target is pretty much my favorite place in the world, especially when I have the freedom to stop in there by myself.

So, I was stoked about my errand, and having just run 6 miles, I was also a bit parched.  Lately, post-run I have been craving lemonade.  I think it's the sugar.  So, there's a Starbucks in MY Target, and I saw this drink on their board and thought it looked like the perfect post-run-afternoon-shopping-sipping beverage.


Looks delightful, right?  It's their "Cool Lime Refresher."  So, I ordered myself a "tall" and then set about my task of spending Caleb and Norah's college tuition on endcaps.

Well, one taste of that "refresher," and I nearly spit it out.  It tasted like crushed dreams. 
With ice and a lime wedge.
I paused, examined the vile drink -- looking for its source of evil -- and then thought perhaps my taste buds were being rash.  There have been plenty of beverages I didn't like at first that now rank among my favorites (coffee, beer), so I gave it another try.  And, another try, and an effing other try. 

No matter how many sips I took, this devil juice did NOT grow on me.  If anything, my initial reaction only intensified.

It tasted like a non-alcoholic version of a Mojito.  And, I know I live in South Florida so it's blasphemy to say this, but I H-A-T-E Mojitos (plural of that?  I don't know if I add the "es" or just an "s"? spellcheck's not being helpful.  at all).  Probably because I abhor mint, and this foul elixir most certainly contained mint (maybe I should have asked about the flavor before ordering it?  that would've been logical).

Anyway, I drank that god awful thing because it cost $3.  $3!  For a 12 oz (really, after ice, it was probably 8 oz of liquid) cup of skunk juice. 

On the way home, this got to me: $3!  I could get a half gallon of delightful lemonade from Publix for less than that and be totally happy!  By the time I was home, I was angry at Starbucks for selling me such a wicked drink.

So, I emailed them and told them so. 

I don't expect anything from Starbucks -- a reply might be nice -- but it felt good typing those 2,050 "characters" to tell them how this drink prompted my entire mouth to nearly host a stomach revolution.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You totally got the wrong flavor!! The lime ones are disgusting, but the berry flavor is pretty decent. Also, when you're craving lemonade Starbucks offers that as well...or even better try a Passion Tea Lemonade...absolutely delish, I'm positive you'd love! :)

Nobel4Lit said...

Wow, I would have asked the barista if it is supposed to taste like that. Ack! Even though I have like 2-3 around me, I go to Target maybe once a month or every other month and am totally looking forward to Friday after work so I can go.

Lemonade sounds awesome right now, though!

MCM Mama said...

Hmm, add that to the list of things I have no need to try... I'm not a mojito girl either.

Carolina John said...

It tasted like crushed dreams. Favorite line ever. ha!

Viper said...

I hate Target. Why do they have that $60 exit fee? I swear I just stopped in for bargain Blu-Ray. Why do I end up with all this other stuff? Damn you, Target, and your reasonably price selection.

It wasn't the drink that was evil, but the red bull's eye of doom what done it. Cheers!

brunettechicagogal said...

Caribou Coffee has a similar drink, and my reaction was just like yours after my first sip. Gag me.

James said...

I've come to the conclusion that Startbucks is evil incarnate. The coffee is not of good quality, and you have to load it up with fattening, sugary junk to make it taste good. On top of that, their prices are ridiculous. Grab the Publix lemonade, drink to your hearts content, and pocket the difference for the kids college fund.

Agate Lake Girl said...

There is something magical about a solo trip to Target. I wouldn't know since I've been wearing Rylee as a necklace for the past month. She is going through some sort of attachment phase that seriously. needs. to. end. Sorry went off on a tangent there!

Asaforj said...

Caribou Coffee has a similar drink, and my reaction was just like yours after my first sip. Gag me.