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Friday, August 21, 2009

Blowouts

So far today, we have had two blowouts, which means we're on the 3rd onesie of the day, Norah had to have a bath, despite the fact that she had one yesterday, and half the washable baby paraphernalia is now in the washing machine.

The first blowout came out the front side. We had just returned from a walk, and she was asleep in her stroller, so I just left her in there while I made myself some lunch. While my lunch was heating up in the microwave, I heard a monster burp, that sounded "wet," and when I looked in on her in her stroller, I discovered that she had yakked. Partially digested milk everywhere.

Needless to say, my lunch was delayed as I got her, and the stroller, cleaned up and dressed her in fresh duds.

About an hour or so later, she was chillin' on my lap while I was reading, and she started making some "poop faces" (you know the ones, you probably make them yourself when you're pushing out a grunter), and sure enough, some disturbingly loud noises ensued, followed by a noxious odor. But, wanting to wait to see if she was done, I delayed rushing her off to the changing table and changing her.

Mistake.

The shit had filled the diaper to capacity and then shot up her back, soaking her backside, and my frontside, as well as the Boppy. This was gross in and of itself, but then as I was trying to change her out of the crap-stained outfit, I managed to get baby poop all over the changing pad cover, all over me, and in her hair. Faced with this shitticane, I decided the easiest way to clean this baby would be with a fire hose, but lacking that, I decided she had to have a bath.

So, now she is freshly washed, in a new onesie, the soiled clothing, etc is now in the wash, and she has been set down to sleep in her crib. I guess that just leaves me. I smell like 1 part spit up, 1 part baby poop, and 1 part frustrated sweat. Surely, my body wash can handle that, right?

35 comments:

X-Country2 said...

Oh my. That's a day. Take a quick shower and go take yourself a nap. :o)

JojaJogger said...

We had to wait 11 days for the first poop post? ;-)

Jamoosh said...

It took long enough for poop to make an appearance on this blog.

Lauren said...

I think that should be called a Poocano. Like a poop valcano. Happy friday! LP

Wes said...

ROFL... This is better than blogging while intoxicated :-)

HEATHER said...

hahaha LOVE it! Now wait till this happens in public, and you are walking around town covered in baby poop. I love being a mom! :)

Erin said...

Motherhood. Love it!

teacherwoman said...

Wow. Sounds like fun!

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

after a few more times, you'll be an expert in cleaning up all that mess. ;-)

Carolina John said...

there's nothing like compressed poop to brighten the day. Have a great weekend Jess!

Shannon said...

I can't wait to hear the 2am stories..."Mom, I threw up in my bed!"

You're tough, wiping that shiz off your babies back is the easy stuff. One day she maybe wiping it off your back. LOL..

Nicole said...

Needless to say I'm way behind on blogs - Congrats!!!!!

And, I'm glad things are getting easier each day.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness you make it sounds so funny! We all need this laughter during these times!

kelsalynn said...

Oh no! Ha ha. Sounds like it's time for your bath and a nap too.

I have a feeling this will be the first of many Nora-poop stories.

Cindi H said...

Oh the things nobody tells you about when you're pregnant...

One time I was changing my daughter's diaper, and as I lifted her legs to put the new diaper in place she had an exploded poop that flew in a stream and hit the back of the sofa and a wall across the room.

Good times!

D10 said...

This will happen again! Way to handle it. Isn't it amazing how much these little babies can produce.

Kerrie said...

I think this happened to us for the first two months. :) Good times!

MCM Mama said...

Ahh, the good old days! I remember those.

Shoo had one of those at the airport one time. I just threw his entire outfit in the trash...

Crystal said...

Haha! My sister just told me of a similar incident she had today with Morgan. Must be one of those poopy days today.

Ted said...

Oh man.. that brings memories. Been there and done that. In about a month or two, you will be an expert and you will know what to expect.

Mrs. K said...

LOL since we're talking about poop- Julianna loves it when I tell her the story when she was about a week or two old, and I lifted up her legs to change her just at the same time she totally sharted- ALL OVER THE furniture, walls, me, her...it was gross- but I think it's a rite of passage- welcome to motherhood. :)

lifestudent said...

Yup. Welcome to your new life :) Target blowouts are fun. So are airplane ones. I also like when they start pooping again while you are in midst of changing the last blowout.

Firefly's Running said...

ROFL!! I remember those days and had those days myself. There will be more of them and the techinque will get better.

Carly said...

Ewwww....the blowouts are not fun! I am always amazed at how much they can poop.

RunnerGirl said...

Wow, that's a lot of cleaning up. You deserve a NAP!

AmyAnne said...

LOL. Poop. Something we can all relate to :-)

Amanda said...

Ummm...maybe we want to rethink trying to get pregnant :)

N.D. said...

awww.. love the blowouts. I remember I was doing the wash like 2 times a day.

fancy nancy said...

This is hilarious! At least you can laugh about it!

Carlee said...

if not; you might be able to market a new body wash for new moms...i see big bucks in that!

Laurel said...

You mean you didn't register for a fire hose?

You sound like an old pro already.

Agate Lake Girl said...

Ah yes, I remember those days. I bet she felt so much better after those two blowouts though. :)

Billie said...

buy a couple cloth diaper covers. Seriously...I suffered through many blowouts and poop on me moments. Then someone told me to use a cloth diaper cover and it was really about the best thing ever!

Stuart said...

You'll learn to never underestimate a baby's capacity for creating massive amounts of poop!

Adam said...

I mean, I'm sure that there are 1000 great moments for each one of these... but you're not exactly "selling" this parenting thing :)