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Monday, January 14, 2008

Monday 4

After class today, I stopped by the grocery store to do the week's shopping. And as I read last week on Redneck Mommy's blog, "The only thing I dislike more than sucking cock and stepping in dog shit, is grocery shopping." That. That right there is my sentiment exactly. She was just, oh, so much more eloquent than I could be in expression.

This afternoon's visit pretty much summarized why I hate the grocery store:
  • Parking sucks. I always have to circle to find a space, and that alone makes me angry enough to plow down the elderly and small children.
  • The full parking lot pretty much guarantees a long line at the deli, where there is inevitably 2 people working. At their slowest possible speed. I mean, c'mon, slice faster bitches!
  • The aisles in the grocery store are really only wide enough for 2 carts -- yet people are either too absent-minded or too clueless to realize this, and one of these days I'm just gonna start ramming carts outta my way.
  • There were 3. Count them: 3 lanes open. So the line to each one was several people deep. I chose one at random and got stuck behind the. slowest. lady. in. the. world. Seriously, I didn't know people still wrote checks (or that the grocery store still accepted them). Nor did I know that it is possible to read an entire People magazine while waiting for someone to write a check (it wasn't a total waste -- I did get the low down on Britney's latest wacko-attacko).

Needless to note, by the time I got home, unloaded the groceries and put them away, I was more than ready for the stress relief of a run. And it was everything the grocery store was not: fast, efficient, and rewarding.

1: 9:25

2: 9:22

3: 9:24

4: 9:12

Total Time: 37:24 (Blogger is screwing with my spacing -- thus the giant spaces between splits. Can't figure out why.)

As per my blister after Saturday's 14 miler: it deflated on its own and didn't bother me on this evening's run. But I did learn that many of you are "pickers" -- grossos!

24 comments:

runner26 said...

try fresh direct: http://www.freshdirect.com/index.jsp

this has added years to my life...

Non-Runner Nancy said...

I think you should stick to Jerry getting the groceries. And never ever consider taking a position in retail, not that you would, but you would go nuts. Unless you want to fuel the runs, then , keep going to the store, because that was a great run!!!

kelsalynn said...

One of my entries was acting all weird w/ the spacing too... and I was typing then all of a sudden, it changed... totally spazzing out on us.

Great run though! And I went grocery shopping tonight too! Ugh.

Kelsalynn

Christie said...

I actually don't mind grocery shopping. It's clothes shopping I can't stand. I guess I'm weird like that.

teacherwoman said...

Shit! I forgot to go to the grocery store after my swim tonight. Damnit! I hate the grocery shopping extravaganza... I will cook any meal any time, but someone else will do the shopping!

L*I*S*A said...

Slice faster, bitches.

Tee hee....

AnthonyP said...

The beginning of your post cracked me up.
You are so ready for Miami, just watch the blister.

Viv said...

I almost fell off my chair laughing at the grocery store nightmare. Let me guess Publix right? It is still better than Sedanos if you have that in your part of FL. I actually saw two old ladies beat down at a Sedanos once. I was 10 and it changed me forever!
Glad your run relieved the stress, and a great one at that.
Blogger spacing technique annoys me to no end.

Marcy said...

I need to email that quote to my husband. Just think of how annoying it gets when you have 2 small children in tow :-X

Thanks for the commentary on the weekend Jess! ;D Next time you're coming with us ;-)

David said...

Yeah, I think that's just stories about blogger messing with your spacing. I think you are just trying to show off! LOL

Looks like you had a good stress relief run, and well deserved. The inconsiderate nature of people seems to be amplified at the store. I love when people are far too lazy to walk 18 steps to put their grocery cart in the return, instead leaving it to slowly roll away and ding someone else's car.

Oh, don't get me started on "those" people that anger me. :-)

Taryn said...

I'm right there with you on the grocery store... what about the people who block the aisles while looking through their coupons?? I'm ashamed at how many times I've had to bite my tongue from screaming it's an effing quarter folks...

keith said...

Sounds like somebody (redneck mommy) needs to look up the definition of "housewife" again.

Just kidding. Don't flame me, bro.

Marathoner in Training said...

Sorry about the cochroaches, and the terrable time at the grocery store. As for the extra spaces between your splits rather than hit enter, try shift/enter. That might help.

P.O.M. said...

Redneck mommmy is hilarious.

Ok- I love your spelling edits. Can I send all my work to you to edit before I send things to clients?? That would be awesome.
I spell like a 3rd grader. ha ha.

P.O.M. said...

Redneck mommmy is hilarious.

Ok- I love your spelling edits. Can I send all my work to you to edit before I send things to clients?? That would be awesome.
I spell like a 3rd grader. ha ha.

Wes said...

Thanks for making me laugh my ass off this morning!!!!

June said...

Well theres two things we are in disagreement on, one being because I LOVE going to grocery store!!

I dont know why I just do!!

runner26 said...

so sorry--I didn't realize that! Maybe there is another delivery service in your 'hood???

Crystal said...

I feel your pain. I usually go to the grocery store in a good mood and leave pissed off. Either it's the lack of competent workers or the idiot customers that stand in the middle of every aisle oblivious to the rest of us. See, I'm stressed just thinking about it!

Paul said...

Too funny!

CollegeGirl said...

Maybe because I'm still young, but I love the actual act of grocery shopping (although I hate making time to do it).

I'm sure that will all change in the years to come.

miss petite america said...

you either gotta go during off peak hours or go online...otherwise, yeah, grocery shopping can be a huge ass pain.

Who is SLB+? said...

I don't mind the shopping it's the putting it all away the drives me nuts!

Laurel said...

Let me guess, Publix?