Yesterday I called to talk with my mom for a bit, and with her, it's kinda like conversation roulette; I mean, when I tell people that my mom is "kooky" or "absent-minded" I don't think they truly understand what I'm talking about; thus, a conversation with her (with all its un-expected twists and turns) reveals my point. I thought of recounting it here in summary form, but I think it's best captured in its exact nature so you guys can fully grasp what I am dealing with here:
Me: "What would you like for Christmas, Mom?"
She ponders for a bit.
Her: "Well, one thing I could use is a new pocket knife."
Me: "Okay. What do you need a pocket knife for?"
Her: "Well, you know, sometimes I just need a knife. Like to cut tags off or something. Like the other day I wore a new shirt to work and got all the way there and realized the tags were still on. So a knife could've been helpful."
Me: "You don't have a pair of scissors at work?"
Her: "Well, yeah, but I would've liked the knife all the same. And you know, I used to have one, but the last time we flew, the TSA took mine away."
Me: "Wait, you tried to take a pocket knife on a plane?"
Her: "Well, it was in my purse."
Me: "Mom, you can't have finernail clippers on a plane, let alone a knife."
Her: "I didn't know that."
So, the conversation continued along this hair-brained path until we got to what she was sending me.
Her: "So, I already mailed your gifts and they should be arriving any day. But can you do me a favor?"
Me: "Sure mom, what is it?"
Her: "Well, I can't find my checkbook, and I think maybe I put it in the box with your gifts. So, could you just be sure you check the box and see if it's in there?"
Me: "You maybe mailed your checkbook along with our Christmas presents?"
Her: "Maybe. I can't find it, so I'm thinking maybe I accidentally put it in that box and mailed it. Could you just double check because I can't find it anywhere."
Me: "Yes, I'll look for it when the package arrives. But Mom?"
Me: "If I find it, I'm writing myself a check out of it to pay for your pocket knife."