TAT CN Header

Monday, November 19, 2007

Conversations with Mom

Yesterday I called to talk with my mom for a bit, and with her, it's kinda like conversation roulette; I mean, when I tell people that my mom is "kooky" or "absent-minded" I don't think they truly understand what I'm talking about; thus, a conversation with her (with all its un-expected twists and turns) reveals my point. I thought of recounting it here in summary form, but I think it's best captured in its exact nature so you guys can fully grasp what I am dealing with here:

Me: "What would you like for Christmas, Mom?"

She ponders for a bit.

Her: "Well, one thing I could use is a new pocket knife."

Me: "Okay. What do you need a pocket knife for?"

Her: "Well, you know, sometimes I just need a knife. Like to cut tags off or something. Like the other day I wore a new shirt to work and got all the way there and realized the tags were still on. So a knife could've been helpful."

Me: "You don't have a pair of scissors at work?"

Her: "Well, yeah, but I would've liked the knife all the same. And you know, I used to have one, but the last time we flew, the TSA took mine away."

Me: "Wait, you tried to take a pocket knife on a plane?"

Her: "Well, it was in my purse."

Me: "Mom, you can't have finernail clippers on a plane, let alone a knife."

Her: "I didn't know that."

So, the conversation continued along this hair-brained path until we got to what she was sending me.

Her: "So, I already mailed your gifts and they should be arriving any day. But can you do me a favor?"

Me: "Sure mom, what is it?"

Her: "Well, I can't find my checkbook, and I think maybe I put it in the box with your gifts. So, could you just be sure you check the box and see if it's in there?"

Me: "You maybe mailed your checkbook along with our Christmas presents?"

Her: "Maybe. I can't find it, so I'm thinking maybe I accidentally put it in that box and mailed it. Could you just double check because I can't find it anywhere."

Me: "Yes, I'll look for it when the package arrives. But Mom?"

Her: "Yes?"

Me: "If I find it, I'm writing myself a check out of it to pay for your pocket knife."


David said...

LMAO! It does read kinda like a sitcom script.

If not in the box, I wonder if the checkbook is at the post office. Uh oh...

Randy said...

I'm LMAO too, it's better than a sitcom it's real life.

I had a friend in Farmington, NM that was from Pennsylvania somewhere. One year at Thanksgiving they were flying home to be with relatives. Well he got the family to the airport, corraled them all inside with bags and then realized they were on the verge of missing their plane. They dashed onboard and about half way to Pittsburgh he remembered he had left his vehicle running at the door of the airport, all locked up. He had to call a friend to find a locksmith to get him into the vehicle to take it home...guess we can all be absentminded at times...

I won't even tell you that I left my GU and fuel belt at home for the marathon this weekend, no I won't even go there.....not me.

J~mom said...

That is hilarious!!!!!!

Erin said...

The funny thing is you are destined to be the same. I hope Jerry is ready for the ride.

*I can say that because my mother has turned into Grandma and I am like my mom...not a pretty path.

Betsy said...

I am pretty sure we have the same mom.

L*I*S*A said...

OMG...that's too funny! Hope the checkbook is in the box.

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO! At least your Mom isn't full on crazy though. I want to commit mine :-X

Viv said...

LMAO! That is classic Jes. My Mom called me today to see if I knew where her car keys were. Mind you I have not seen her in a week and she lives and hour away. How the heck what I know.

Than she left me a vm 2 hours later. I found them in the fridge, even though you do not seem to concerned about this?!?

ws said...

thank you for the laugh Jess, I needed that. And, if you find the checkbook, why not buy yourself a car too, then I don't need to share mine.

Mendy said...

OMG! That's sooo like a sitcom. Too funny and she's probably sooo innocent in carrying a knife on an airline. Crap, when I flew in Aug, they wouldn't let me carry my bath and body works spray.

I bet being around you and your Mom is a hoot.

June said...


keith said...

your mom sounds about as cute and funny as you. i bet you guys are a hoot together.

Anonymous said...


That's so great.

Fian said...

Ha! Your mom sounds a lot like a character in a book or sitcom, all right. That's great!

Laurel said...

Wow, I think that maybe you and I are sisters.

Jes said...

Oh my goodness, this sounds like a conversation with my mother!