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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Insomnia

I can't sleep tonight. Not sure if it's because I took a two hour nap this afternoon before my cross training session or if it's because I know I can sleep in tomorrow, but for whatever reason, here I am. Sometimes when I can't sleep or when I'm bored and I turn to the Internet, I Google people I know or have known and see if I can find what they're up to. If I can even find them, they're not up to much. But after I have exhausted that list, I Google myself.

It's weird Googling yourself (I know everyone reading this has done it, and if you haven't, you should -- it's a quintessential online experience). I'm used to seeing hits for an artist who shares my name, a doctor practicing in Ohio, and a poet who lives in New York, but I wasn't prepared as I scrolled through a new list today of the runners with my name. There are other Jesses out there running 5Ks and marathons and half marathons, and for a moment, I had an out of body experience when I thought I had found myself, but it turned out to be another Jess who ran a Turkey Trot the same Thanksgiving I did, but she was in a different city.

After that, I had to quit. It begins to make you feel as though you're not you're real self. And it definitely undermines the notion that you are unique; not a reality I was searching for at 1 am. I was looking for something to put me to sleep, but now I have questions about "identity" that will keep me up all night!

4 comments:

Audrey said...

oh, you COMPLETELY have to google yourself these days! employers and colleagues google you, and you've got to know what's out there!!

Ryan said...

Your last paragraph made my brain hurt. You need more beer drinking, and less deep thinking.

Downhillnut said...

When I can't sleep and I'm actually caught up on all my regularly-read blogs, I hit up the Running Blog Family directory for even more bloggers to read.

Or look through photos on Flickr...

Hey, I haven't googled myself lately. Thanks for the reminder :)

Running Rabbit said...

How much time do YOU have there? Because if you're killing time I could use some help withmy classroom! :-)