I can't sleep tonight. Not sure if it's because I took a two hour nap this afternoon before my cross training session or if it's because I know I can sleep in tomorrow, but for whatever reason, here I am. Sometimes when I can't sleep or when I'm bored and I turn to the Internet, I Google people I know or have known and see if I can find what they're up to. If I can even find them, they're not up to much. But after I have exhausted that list, I Google myself.
It's weird Googling yourself (I know everyone reading this has done it, and if you haven't, you should -- it's a quintessential online experience). I'm used to seeing hits for an artist who shares my name, a doctor practicing in Ohio, and a poet who lives in New York, but I wasn't prepared as I scrolled through a new list today of the runners with my name. There are other Jesses out there running 5Ks and marathons and half marathons, and for a moment, I had an out of body experience when I thought I had found myself, but it turned out to be another Jess who ran a Turkey Trot the same Thanksgiving I did, but she was in a different city.
After that, I had to quit. It begins to make you feel as though you're not you're real self. And it definitely undermines the notion that you are unique; not a reality I was searching for at 1 am. I was looking for something to put me to sleep, but now I have questions about "identity" that will keep me up all night!