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Monday, July 23, 2012

Plagues

On this evening's 5 miler, I experienced 4 of running's plagues:

Plague #1: Heat

It's July and it's hot everywhere, some places it's been much hotter than here, so I can't complain too much.  But still, heat is no friend for a runner, especially when combined with humidity.  Every run in the summer means that I return home with clothes completely saturated in sweat.  This evening was no different.

Plague #2: Insects

These damn small, black bugs crop up every summer.  I think they're gnats, but I'm no entomologist, so I'm not certain.  What I am certain of is that running through clouds of these small bastards = running hell.  They fly in my eyes, my nose, my mouth, and wiping them away just feels like I'm smearing their tiny carcases around my face, neck, and chest.  Combine the insects with the heat (and thus the sweat) and I am coated in disgusting layers of perspiration and pests.

Plague #3: Chafing

I blame Amazon for this. 

Let me explain.  Earlier this summer, Jerry got himself a Kindle Fire, and we got introduced to the sweet nectar of Amazon Prime's free 2 day shipping.  I ordered the bejesus out of Amazon because I fell head over heals for the 2 day shipping.  Since then, we allowed the Prime trial to expire and buh-bye free 2 day shipping!  But my Amazon reliance remained.  So, lately, I've become accustomed to being a very lazy shopper, rather than taking the time to go to a nearby store to shop, I hop on Amazon and order just about anything we need.  Well, earlier today, I had both a Nathan handheld water bottle and some Body Glide in my Amazon cart.  But before checking out, I realized I would be paying nearly $6 in shipping for a $6 stick of Body Glide (and almost equally horrifying: $6 in shipping for a clearanced Nathan handheld that was only $14).  Ummm?  No.  I can swing by my local running store and get $0 in shipping.  So, I canceled my cart.

Thus, karma.  Or, I will just go ahead and directly blame Amazon for putting bad juju out in the universe for cancelling my Body Glide order:  I had THE worst thigh chafing, which is the worst kind of chafing because it hurts the body and the ego (no girl likes a reminder that her thighs are rubbing together uncomfortably).

Plague #4: Rain

Actually, with the heat and the bugs, this was almost a welcome relief.  Still, the extra moisture didn't help the above mentioned chafing, so: PLAGUE!

I don't think these plagues are predicting the end of the world, but man alive, after a string of runs that I feel like I've struggled through, I feel as thought he running gods owe me a gimme.

6 comments:

James said...

Sounds like a rough run. I too have succombed to the sweet nectar of Amazon prime. It's a great deal, but spoils you to other shopping. I am an entomologist, and I'm willing to bet it's some sort of gnat. There are many types that congregate like that. Be thankful they're not biting midges or blackflies. :)

Lisa said...

amazon prime is the best!

Carolina John said...

hey now, I still get really bad thigh chafing too. not just a girlie thing. But even I won't tackle the heat. bone that.

Nobel4Lit said...

Ha ha... I'm definitely worried for when my Prime expires. I got my membership free the first year and then half-price the second year... still the best thing ever.

Kathee @ KFab Running said...

Naturally it's Amazons fault! I'm with you - I will fill a cart and if the shipping is too much I will bail. I remember my first thigh chafe...it was truly a tragedy and a pain! I love when I'm running a relay with a van full of people and I'm getting all friendly with a stick of Glide. NEVER too proud!

MCM Mama said...

I just finished my free trial of amazon prime. I kind of wish they'd just automatically renewed it and charged me 'cause I know I'd be too lazy to get rid of it.

There isn't enough body glide in the world to save me from chafing. I'm very thankful for my longer shorts and running skirts LOL.