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My real life is a lot like THS (True Hollywood Story) except there's no fame, fortune, or drug addiction. Instead, I'm happily married, have two children, and a dog who's prone to barfing at 3 am. I love them all, but I also have to run away from them every day. I always run back, though.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sink Story

Because it's Monday and I have nothing else to write about, and because some of you requested the "sink story" after Saturday's post, I decided that I will tell you the story. Although, I feel as though I may have set you up to expect a funnier and/or more interesting story than it really is. Anyway, without further ado: I present "The Sink Story" aka "Things Jess Does that Jerry Can't Comprehend."

Back in early 2007, we were re-modeling our kitchen (pics available here), and when we ordered our countertops, I specifically remember sitting down with the countertop representative from Lowe's and specifying that we wanted "thick" countertops because I was sure to stand on them. See, for those left out there who don't know it, I'm short. Like munchkin short. So to reach things on top shelves, I use either a wooden spoon (if that thing on the top shelf is near the edge) or I hop up on the counter and either stand or kneel on it while I reach whatever object was previously out of reach.

Yes, somewhere around here I have a step stool, but in my brain, pulling that or a chair over is too much work, and I can hop up on the counter in one quick, cat-like move, so why waste my energy dragging a chair over?

Anyway, our countertops are Corian, which comes with the sink built in as one seamless piece. So after the countertops were installed, the cabinets were installed, the plumbing was hooked up again, but before the appliances were moved back in, Jerry and I had to paint the kitchen. Including the ceiling.

As we were painting the ceiling, we were using step ladders, and yes, we were even standing on the countertops to get to some sections of the ceiling. As I was working over the sink area, I found that I couldn't quite get the right height: Step ladders didn't get me high enough, but standing on the counter put me up too high, so I looked around me, and aha! I stood in the sink. This put me at just the right height to paint the section of ceiling directly above me. So I was happily painting my section when I hear Jerry screech:

"What the hell are you doing!?!"

My thought: Is this a trick question? I'm painting.

I look at my brush to make sure that I am using the correct paint, I look to the ceiling to make sure that I am painting the correct area. Check and check. I don't understand his problem, so I'm just standing there with a perplexed look on my face.

"Get out, get out!!" He's yelling.

Get out of where? I'm still confused why he's red in the face and the veins in his forehead are pulsing.

"Get out of the goddamn sink! You can't stand in there!" He yells.

I look beneath me, shrug, and step out of the sink. "What's your problem?" I ask him.

"You can't stand in the sink! What were you thinking?!" He exclaims.

"What do you mean? I thought we got the countertops with dimensions specifically sturdy enough for me to stand on!"

"That doesn't include the sink! The sink is only about an inch, maybe an inch and a half, thick. It's not meant to support your weight!"

I place my hands on my hips: "How much do you think I weigh?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter!" He's still irate. "A sink is NOT meant to support a fully grown person!"

"Fine," I assent, "I'm sorry I was standing in the sink, but I didn't know I couldn't. You never told me not to stand in the sink."

He sighs, "Well, I didn't know I would have to tell you."

The sink incident has lived in infamy in our household, and along with other things I've done, has been amongst the ways Jerry says he tests for things "a kid might do." I'm not entirely sure what he means by that, but when I climbed through the kitchen window on Saturday, I made sure I didn't stand in the sink!

29 comments:

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

Hahahhaha! Okay, that explains the whole standing in the sink paranoia. LOL

Marcy said...

LMAO! That's so something I'd do.

Viv said...

HAHAHAHAAHA! Great story...

MCM Mama said...

LOL! I'm always standing on our counters too...

Laurel said...

LOL! Who knew you couldn't stand in a sink? I've never heard that rule either.

Brooke said...

Aren't those moments the best? The things you'll tell your kids..haha!

David said...

I'm actually surprised you didn't come back with something at the "fully grown person" comment. That is a pretty funny story, though! Now you should randomly leave a footprint or two in the sink from dirty sneakers, just to get his goat.

Happy Monday!

chia said...

I instantly want to stand in my sink... lmao take that Jer ;-)

MarathonRandy said...

You are too funny....even for a munchkin.....what a story and yes I'm sure it will be impossible to shake it.

X-Country2 said...

HA! I loved the "how much do you think I weigh?!" part. Totally something I would say.

ws said...

great story.

I can relate to the climb rather than use a step stool approach. My first thought was that Jerry didn't want you standing in the sink because "outside" germs would get in the sink. He must not be a germaphobe though.

Erin said...

Standing in the sink, using a mallet on my dinner plates on a tile table...why would one think you wouldn't do something silly?

Wes said...

Definitely walking a fine line there (on hubby's part) :-) But good story!!!

Marlene said...

Seems resourceful to me! Thanks for the chuckle.

Viper said...

Well, the sink DID support you, didn't it? He's wrong. Go stand in the sink.

Running Jen said...

Great story! I stand on my counters too, we have 42 inch cabinets, and I just can't reach stuff up high.

Great job on the new PR at your half too! Sounds like a fun race, the course sounds really nice, it sounds like something I may consider for next year.

Carly said...

LOL...who knew you weren't supposed to stand in a sink.

Amanda said...

I am with you as a fellow counter-stander. That is a great story, one of those daily funnies that last forever.

teacherwoman said...

That is freakin' hilarious! I found myself laughing out loud twice! LOL!

MN Mom said...

I have stood in sinks too...and never knew that I was only an inch away from disaster. Who knew?

Cara said...

hahaha that is probably something that would happen to me. hahahah. love it!!

Kevin said...

What a funny story!!

kelsalynn said...

Okay, I'm seriously in tears by your story. I even made my husband sit and listen while I read it to him...I even adopted a different voice you and Jerry! It's just one of those "goofy" things I would do... oh, man, you crack me up girl. Good story.

Shoe Running said...

He he he!!! Dude! I love the sink story :)

Jamoosh said...

While my wife would never stand in the sink, we do have several step stools of varying height around the house to aide her in retrieving objects out of her reach. Except that I am always the one called on to retrieve said objects.

Mrs. K said...

lol jerry sounds like me...

J~Mom said...

I had this in bloglines...I know I am late. Funny story! It's so like something I would do!

Shannon said...

Jon has a sink story too that involves him chewing up his dive watch in the garbage disposal. (Which according to him happens to everybody, but so far in all my polls I have yet to meet someone who can relate.)

sRod said...

Playing catch up...this is hilarious--completely omething my wife would do!