Split Personality

I wish I was one of those people (sometimes you see them in movies -- the intrepid FBI agent, or the single mom working so hard on her own) who could get up early in the morning and run. I envision the cool early morning darkness, the dew covering all the parked cars and still sleeping trees and bushes. The weather would be perfect at that time, no heat, low humidity, and I picture how satisfying it would be to come home as the sun is rising, and the whole day is stretching out ahead of me. Imagine what I would get done in a day if I got up early every morning and got my running done right away.

I think that's what people think of when they envision a runner. For some reason it seems to awe people, and I admit I occasionally see people at races that seem to be that person -- the inspiring morning runner, but I assure everyone that person is not me. Me, I struggle with my running. Motivating myself each day is its own challenge and there are days when merely tying my running shoes seems to drain me of energy. A lot of the time I just don't want to go. I bitch and moan in my head, and the evil part of me thinks, "Maybe today is okay for another day off."

But then there are times when I can't wait to run. I might hear a song on the radio that I think would be a good running song, and I turn it up, and I can't help but feel ansy. And there are definitely times when I'm sitting in my office or at home at my desk grading papers or planning for class and I feel like I have to get out and run, run, run. My legs tell me they need it. And when I finish, I always feel satisfied; that's really why I run. When I'm done, I feel good; I feel like I did something worthwhile. For that feeling, I run even when I don't feel like it. But I never run first thing in the morning.