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Saturday, February 24, 2007

Haircut from Hell

Last night I decided to swing by the mall and get my hair trimmed. I am not one to shell out money for a pricey haricut, and especially for a trim, I figured I could stop into a MasterCuts and get the job done. Well...

This stylist was drunk. Either that, or crazy. I'm not sure which. Anyway, I should've bolted when I noted how she kinda stumbled around, and then when I went to sit in her chair, there was a bag of kettle korn, which she offered me. I declined. But I sat down where her snack had been.

I told her that I wanted to maintain the basic shape of my hairstyle, I just wanted it trimmed in order to freshen it up and eliminate the dry ends. She heartily agreed it could be done and set to work with her scissors. As she happily chopped away, she chatted -- and it was the chat of someone who was not in her right mind. At first, she asked if the mole above my lip was natural, I told her it was, and she said how lucky I was to have that (didn't feel so lucky when I was eight and kids teased me -- "is that a chocolate chip on your face?") because she had tattooed hers on! Looking at her reflection in the mirror, it suddenly became apparent that it was a tattoo! (I have nothing against tatts -- I have one myself -- but to tattoo what is essentially a skin abnormality onto your face?! WTF?)

Anyway, she babbled on about how everyone in S. FL is terrible and rude and how she hates everybody here, except for me because I was nice, and how much I was just gonna LOVE my hair because she was doing something really fantastic with it. And this is when I got scared. I just wanted a trim; I didn't want "something fantastic." In the meantime, she dropped her comb and had to lean on my left knee to bend over and pick it up! I was so baffled by her behavior that I was literally captively stunned. And, it's hard to tell exactly what a stylist is doing since she was yanking my head back and forth and hair often fell in my eyes, but it was revealed when she was finished that she'd essentially given me a mullet.

A mullet, people.

Lots of short layers on top, and then she'd left the back long! Eek gad! I guess $12.95 just doesn't buy you the quality you're used to these days.

Once I was home, explaining to my husband the haircut that a trained chimp could've given me (and which I 'd tipped her for as well -- my manners don't escape me even when I know that money probably went to an 8 ball in the back alley), he commented: "It doesn't look terrible, but if I were you, I'd get it fixed." Get it fixed! If my husband notices how bad it is, it must be bad!! So, I've got to find a place today to get this business taken care of, which means I'm going to end up with a style that is far shorter than a "trim," and I will probably end up paying twice as much as I set out to. But I guess every story has a lesson, and my lesson?

Avoid "Drunk Denise" at MasterCuts. I guess $12.95 is a fair price for that one.


brunettechicagogal said...

Oh, my god. That is my worst nightmare. I wonder if she was trying to give you a version of the haircut I have (shorter layers on top, longer on bottom); when I asked Tony, my longtime stylist for it, I emphasized, "I do NOT want a mullet or a shag." I avoid Mastercuts, Supercuts and the whole shebang specifically for this reason -- you never know what you're getting! Good luck; I'm sure you'll find somebody to salvage it, and I'm also sure it's not THAT bad!

Neese said...

how bizarre!!! what was she on indeed. I hope you found a place to fix it, as long as it's a cute short style, it'll always grow back. But a mullet? you must fix that immediately or start buying hats :)

Anonymous said...

That sounds horrible. When my stylist left for OK I went through bad haircuts and finally sucked it out and went to a pricey salon - I love my hair now but only go there for major changes.

teacherwoman said...

Oh my God! I have never heard of such a story. How crazy! I would one pissed off person!

Running Jayhawk said...

Please tell me you at least complianed. Or call a manager and tell her what happened. Or at least left her an itty bitty tip for pulling that ridonkulous stunt.

Hopefully you can find someone that'll be able to perform an emergency operation for you.

However, I know I'm not the only one thinking this...but...if you have a mullet...you really should document this for posterity on your blog...in the form of photos. ;)

Firefly's Running said...

OMG!! That's horrible...and someone with the same first name too. Eeeeek!

But I would go back....when she's NOT there and complain as well as get it FIXED.

Taryn said...

Poor girl. This post requires a picture... mullets rock ;0 !!

jeanne said...

good grief. I went to one of those cheap places once and the woman literally BURNED my scalp with the blow dryer. I had to run for my life! Now i pay real money. My hair still only looks good for one day, but my scalp is intact!

(Whatever you do, don't try to get it fixed there!)

JustJunebug said...

that happened to me once, but with color. i did indeed pay (by check) and once i got home and saw that yep it was ***ked, i called the bank and stop paid the check, sent a letter to Visible Changes management and they were completely ok with the no payment.

hope today is better!!!

miss petite america said...

holy shiz!!

but well actually, shags, aka mullets are very in style...

but seriously, you should complain and get your money back at the very least. i've gone to places like mastercuts and have had overall good experiences, but that was when my hair was meant to look kinda messy.

good luck in repairing the damage.

Froyd said...

Sure, blame the hairstylist. You're just throwing out excuses for when you go "Britney Spears" on everyone!

IM Able said...

Denise CLEARLY just moved to Florida from my town, because about a month ago I got my own, very special mullet, too.

She lit-er-all-ly held a chunk of my hair out to the side with her two fingers and said "Is this about where you want it?" I said yes. Thinking this was an approximation. Instead, she just cut the chunk off.

I think I actually heard it hit the floor.

Please say 'hi' to Denise for me. The Hair Cuttery misses her.