Man Cold vs Woman Cold

As I mentioned yesterday, both Jerry and I have come down with a cold; however, what I failed to mention is that we have contracted two entirely separate viruses: I caught a Woman Cold and Jerry caught a Man Cold.

What's the difference? You ask. Let me tell you:

When a woman contracts a Woman Cold, she maybe feels icky enough to take something like Tylenol Cold or some similar cold product, but most likely, she won't take anything unless the situation is dire. Otherwise, the virus means that she doesn't feel great, but she goes about her day as normal. Yes, maybe that means stuffing Kleenex up her nose as she does the laundry or feeds the baby so that snot doesn't just drip out onto the floor (or on the baby's head), but essentially, a Woman Cold only slows a woman down; it doesn't take her out.

In contrast, a Man Cold is, apparently, a much more virulent strain of the same virus and it completely incapacitates a man. He must get extra sleep, and even when he's strong enough to keep his eyes open, those eyes are only strong enough to take in TV and fantasy football stats on the computer -- other physical demands are too much for him during this sensitive time. Additionally, when sick with a Man Cold, a man needs cough drops, orange juice, blankets, soft pillows, Tylenol Cold (extra strength), a hot water bottle, and plenty of Kleenex. It has also been my observation, but it hasn't been proved in clinical studies yet, that a Man Cold must be accompanied by an allergic reaction to household chores and diaper changing.

So, as you can see, a Man Cold is serious business and is far more severe than the tamer Woman Cold; therefore, I feel pretty good, but Jerry is miserable. I told him that perhaps what he really needs is some baby aspirin...he didn't take kindly to my sarcasm.