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My real life is a lot like THS (True Hollywood Story) except there's no fame, fortune, or drug addiction. Instead, I'm happily married, have two children, and a dog who's prone to barfing at 3 am. I love them all, but I also have to run away from them every day. I always run back, though.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I Gotta Admit

I'm struggling this week, homies. Especially today.

There are several factors that seem to be weighing on me this week, but today, in particular, I keep feeling like I could cry at any minute. My reasons aren't very concrete, and this "blue" feeling may be PMS, but I think it's also a combination of things that are making want to crawl back into bed today.

First of all, I have had these extra classes all week, which is an extra strain on my time since I have my regular classes and grading to take care of -- a full load in and of itself. Plus, it kinda peeved me when the instructor I have been helping out waited until after 8 pm last night to ask me to sub for her 8 am class this morning. I have really been doing her a huge favor by taking over several of her classes this week as she recovers from bronchitis, yet I kinda feel as though she has been taking advantage of my generosity this week by expecting me to accommodate her classes at the last minute, and with vague instructions.

Anyway, thinking of this, plus, some of my own work, kept me up last night and I didn't sleep well. Thus, when the alarm went off this morning I literally felt a little ill myself because I was so tired. Poor sleep really affects me, and I have an already long day on Thursdays (night class keeps me here until 9:15 pm), so I wasn't really looking forward to the gray, rainy day before me.

But then, as I was walking Scooter this morning, I had a lady yell at me, and that? Well, that incident has upset me all morning. Here's what happened:

I was returning from Scooter's morning jaunt, and we were walking across our community's parking lot. Across the lot, there were two women with their dogs -- also residents of the community, I assume, and their dogs were barking and going nuts because of Scooter and I. Well, Scooter doesn't really bark, so he and I were quietly making our way towards our building when I hear: "C'mon lady! Move your ass!" What? Was she yelling at me? I turned to look towards the two women with the poorly behaved dogs, and one of them screamed at me: "Yeah, I'm talking to you! Fucking move!"

What?!

I didn't say anything. Instead, I just scurried into our condo, but I felt so flustered and furious I was shaking. So, her dogs were acting nutso, yet she was yelling at me and Scooter to move faster across the lot? It's not my fault that her dogs are badly trained and behaving obnoxiously! And I just can't believe she yelled at me like that! Part of me was so upset because I absolutely could not comprehend what had just happened -- it really did baffle me. Seriously. Why did she yell at me?

I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much today. Why can't I just brush her off as rude and incredibly obnoxious? Why do I keep repeating the incident over and over in my head, as if focusing on it will enable me to understand what happened? Why can't I let it go? Is it because I already feel "meh" today? Or am I bothered by my own non-response? Should I have yelled back at her? Should I have reacted differently?

So, that's it: I'm tired, I'm cranky, it's raining outside, and I'm upset about that woman this morning. Are those enough reasons to feel "the mean reds" today?

31 comments:

nwgdc said...

i would not be able to let that go either. wtf was that? i'm sure you wish you could go back and handle it about 10 different ways, instead of just leaving. seriously, i guess i'd try and console myself by saying that she's got MUCH BIGGER problems than you walking across the parking lot, if she gets so worked up over something like that.
but, wow, wtf??

Wes said...

Yay! I love having nothing to do at work :-)

I'm surprised you didn't go back out there and throw down!!! If it had been me, there would have been a beyotch or two with some new bald patches on their head. Kudos to you for realizing that NOTHING good could possibly come out of that situation. You have no relationship with that person, so trying to extract anything positive out of it would be entirely futile. It's just plain easier, and better for you to deny that person's existence. Responding would have been beneath your dignity.

When we are under a lot of stress, the little things magnify. We have to work extra hard to keep things on an even keel. Stay strong! You are doing magnificantly!!

Liz said...

There is a reason that her dogs behave badly...this woman has issues and she tried to make herself feel better by making you feel like crap!!! Don't let her get to you...she is miserable and wants everyone around her to be miserable! Just smile in the fact that you have a very well behave dog and you are happy with your life.

And I think you are mad at yourself for not doing anything...but that was the right thing to do...if it happens again, KILL HER with kindnesss! :)

Get through the day and then plan a relaxing weekend with nothing but reading and eating! Take care of yourself!!!

miss petite america said...

when i'm tired even the littlest things set me off. and when i'm pmsing, forget about it.

in the long run, this incident will mean absolutely nothing, so i hope your day gets better and nwgdc is right, that woman has serious issues.

Krista said...

Things like that really bother me, too. Mostly because I can never figure out what prompts a person to be so damn mean. Just assume she has her own problems and, unfotunately, she chose to take them out on you - but that shouldn't mean it's now your problem. Brush it off (and say a silent F YOU if it makes you feel better).

P.O.M. said...

She sounds like a jerk-face. Just blow it off.

What you need is to come home early, get a good movie, lots of junk food and lay under a blanky with your dog!

Mendy said...

I think that maybe you feel that way, because you wish you would have handled it differently or that it's more of a shock. However, you handled it the way "we" should, just ignore her, making her feel (possibly) stupid by you ignoring her. It could have pissed her off more... which in my book would have won. But, I have a mouth on me, and I say "I have no inner filter". I would have approached her, possibly said some things that I'd maybe later regret (because I have a heart sometimes), then I'd feel like you're feeling right now.

It's possibly shock too - like how would someone start yelling at you for no reason, and cursing you. I would have been shocked.

I had a similar situation happen where I was shocked a few weeks ago, when a woman tried to get off the freeway at a stop, and tried to pull in front of me while I was going in the right direction. I would have hit her had she'd done that. I blew my horn once like "hold it there". She got behind me and started riding my tail, blowing the horn, giving me the finger. What tha? She screwed up and is blaming me for her not paying attention. Pissed me off so much that at the next light, I got right beside her, rolled down my window and proceeded to tell her "let's chat". She wouldn't even look my way, even after me blowing the horn to get her attention. chicken shit...

sorry to be so long... Things just like that bother me for sometime as well.

Ryan said...

Fuck that bitch. I recommend a healthy dose of windsor with a splash of coke. It is the best kind of medicine.

eyegirl said...

I'm having one of those weeks, too. I feel ya. My suggestion - chocolate, and lots of it. I decided on eating a pan of brownies for lunch and I feel better already!!

I would be doing the same thing over the woman yelling at me. Try not to let it get to you. You did nothing wrong.

Aren't blogs great? Vent your frustrations and world full of people tell you that you are right and that the other person is a big ol' meany!! And she is! If it were me, I'd be kicking myself for not yelling back. But, I'm sure I would have been so stunned that I would have done the same thing.

Hang in there. It's almost Friday!

Non-Runner Nancy said...

She's just nasty. How stupid could she be? You are way out of her league. It is shocking for sure. But, I'm thinking you are tired with a touch of PMS, otherwise you would just be saying F@*% that Bit@% !!

keith said...

folks like that aren't worth the getting worked up over.

of course i always say exactly the opposite of what i would do in same situation.

i would have lit that bitch up like christmas at macy's.

Taryn said...

It's astonishing how people can be so rude. You were the MUCH better person to just walk away, no matter how annoyed/angry/frustrating saying nothing can make you feel. Rotten dog lady will get her just desserts...

Chin up.

Firefly's Running said...

Jess, I would have yelled right back at that lady. Talk about HOW RUDE!

Doug said...

You're not alone, Jess. This is a week from hell for me too. Way too busy on not enough sleep.

If someone were to yell at me as they did you, I would be regretting my reaction later because it wouldn't be pleasant.

Tomorrow is Friday. The week from hell is nearly over. I don't know about you, but I plan to sleep all weekend.

Marcy said...

Oooooooooookaaaaayyyy remind me NEVER to come live where you do. That was straight up obnoxious!! I agree with Mendy, you totally did the right thing without even having to do anything. It pisses people like that off even more when you don't react and/or act like you don't care LMAO!

I feel your pain homie!! I know I say this all the time :P (but secretly we're like twins that were separated at birth LOL) but I am the same way. Lack of sleep makes me CRANKY, CRANKY, CRANKY. Hang in there chica!!

Margo said...

That would have ticked me off so much!! Don't know what I would have done. You definitely did the right thing. You have to post if you see her again. What an idiot!

J~mom said...

You absolutely did the right thing. That is just obnoxious and rude. I hope tonight is better and I get the exact same way when I am really tired. Go to bed early tonight and sleep late and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. (((HUGS)))

By the way, a few months ago my mom pulled into a parking space and saw that the one in front of her just became empty so she pulled straight into it. She didn't know and couldn't see that a car was waiting on the other side. Instead of saying anything to my mom the guy got out of his car and slapped the hood of my mom's car with his open hand and gave her the dirtiest look. It rattled my mom the same way you described. People are so mean and icky out there.

Shannon said...

Wow! If that's how she handles that situation I'd hate to see her in a real crisis.

About two in the morning, you'll probably wake up with the perfect comeback, that's how it always is with me. :) But better to ignore the insane anyway, so glad you let it go.

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

That would have rattled me too- very rude!!

I probably would have thrown my hands up in the air in a "what?!?!?" sort of way, shook my head, and gone on my merry way. The person obviously has issues...

Erin said...

That bitch needs to be put on the hated list by the HOA. Her pet needs to go, not Scooter!

I probably would have done the same thing, think wtf and then want to strangle her for the rest of the day.

I wasn't a fan of the grayness today but the cool temps made me smile.

MN Mom said...

F-her and her barky dog....

David said...

I would totally take a giant dump on their front porches, but that's just me. I'm like that. Mendy has to hold me back...often.

Mary Gee said...

I would pat myself on the back for restraint far beyond the call of duty. One time I responded to someone who had some road rage against me and I was terribly sorry I did and terribly afraid. I am grateful that I walked away from that situation in one piece.

Good on you. And I would be really upset too. There was no reason for that kind of nastiness.

CollegeGirl said...

What a bi-otch!!
And boy... I feel your pain. Yesterday I felt like crying and screaming all day long. I'm also so sleep deprived I'm struggling with headaches again. Thursdays are the worst -I'm here until 11pm :(

I hope tomorrow is better & that you have a fun weekend. Feel better!

brunettechicagogal said...

I hearken back to my blogpost from last fall, wherein I describe the asshole in Central Park who called me a c--t because I wanted him to move to HIS side of the path so I wouldn't have to run off the path and into the grass. That sort of asinine behavior sticks with us because we just don't expect people to be so absolutely nasty. And when you're already stressed out, it just adds to your feelings of despair -- like what the hell is wrong with the world? You're probably better off for not having responded. I tend to get into it with people like that, which is totally wasted energy because they are so nutso to begin with, and it just serves to worsen my already crappy mood.

There was a full moon Wednesday night, if that helps explain anything. I've had an emotionally rough week, too.

ws said...

I'm super late to the game because my office paranoia prevents me from commenting, but I too would get totally revved up about a woman yelling at me in the parking lot. Hope Friday treats you better and you have a great weekend. Thanks for all your supportive comments, too.

Tough Cookie said...

I know how you feel -- the little things, like getting honked at in my car, bother me for days. That lady was probably having a shitty day too, if it makes you feel better.

Randy said...

Ok, I'm late...and everyone has all said the right thing..mainly that you DID the right thing...we are proud of you...for doing it...and I hope that writing about the incident and your feelings about it have helped you to get beyond it...don't let her words and actions keep dragging you down....you were beyond her when you first stepped out of the condo....she's just jealous of how well mannered Scooter is....her dogs are alot like her it sounds like...you are the WINNER here...hold your head up high...

scott keeps running said...

i know that lady. she lives down the street from me. the way i usually deal with it is laugh really loud so she can hear. mature? eh, maybe not. but it pisses her off even more and makes me feel just a teensy bit better.

Laurel said...

Ugh! I hate people someimes! I would have killed a bitch.

Of course, this probably would not have solved anything.

I am so sorry. I hate it when stupid things like that happen and you can't shake it. I hope you are feeling better and have comfort in knowing that she was just a stupid bitch.

Whoops, did I say that out loud?

Paul said...

That is seriously retarded. Some peoples children...