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Monday, November 19, 2012

Running: A Necessary Friend

For the past week, I've been wrestling with a personal conflict that has had me emotionally and mentally wraught. 

I don't mean to "vague blog," but I cannot openly discuss the particulars of this because the public blogosphere is not the place, but don't worry, everything is fine in my immediate family: Jerry's cool, kids are cool, Scooter's a fat turd, but he's cool too.

Anyhoo, I have been churning a lot of things over in my mind, many of which I thought that I had already "gotten over" -- either through time, maturity, or by running it all out -- but, it turns out that the intensity of my reaction to this recent conflict has revealed some distasteful aspects of myself and my feelings about issues that I thought I had long ago leg wrestled and won.  I've thus realized this past week that I have some work to do for myself and that, perhaps, some mental and emotional hurdles require lifelong attention.

Running, then, has been a valuable companion this past week.  Despite my emotional baggage, my runs have been a way to "lighten" my load.  It has been an outlet for anger that I didn't know was broiling just beneath my surface, and the result has produced has some very satisfying runs: Mentally, but also physically, and I've run some of the fastest runs that I've logged all year.  And, man, have they felt good. 

Thanks, running.

Certainly, running can't replace the valuable talks and insights I've gained through my supportive spouse, my brother, and a few close friends, but it has been a great means to converse with myself.  Running alone doesn't solve everything, but it sure does help.

11 comments:

Carolina John said...

I get that all the time too. You discover solutions and ideas out there that you otherwise might not have been able to come up with. For a shorter term approach, I get the same type of responses out of juggling. if there's no time for a run, 45 seconds with balls in the air can give me lots of ideas.

diana said...

I have been going through a lot lately too, and running has been crucial. Sometimes I feel guilty taking an hour (or two) to run when I could be with my husband and son, but I know that I'm a much better wife and mom when I have made sure to run. Running has been really great to keep me grounded while I work on some stuff going on in my life.

Leah said...

Yes.

In grad school I had stopped running because I was so busy working on my thesis and eventually I completely melted down and I was broken.

Eventually (with some help) I was like, holy crap, I'm not running at all....that has to be part of it.

Hang in ther!

Viper said...

I don't think there's a runner in the world who can't relate. Double negative? Check! Hope you get things figured out and keep up the good running. Cheers!

Kathee said...

Injury came at the same time some crap started in my personal life. Does the universe hate me? I know how important running is to a runner and how helpful it is to your head. I hope all works itself out quickly! I, in the meantime, have been working more (not that good) and doing lots of Pilates/Yoga/TRX and weight lifting. (GOOD!)
Hugs!

Erin said...

The struggle will get worked out in due time.

Don't only focus on the issue at hand. Enjoy the running and spend some time reflecting on all the other good things going on outside of the dilemma.

TNTcoach Ken said...

Run Forrest run....

Jamoosh said...

Just fail the whole class; drink a six-pack of beer; and fart because you can. You'll feel much better.

Lee said...

Running helps me in that way too. I struggle with anxiety sometimes (over big and little things) and going for a run always makes me feel better.

Agate Lake Girl said...

Sorry to hear that you have something weighing you down. I hope you can make peace with whatever it is sooner rather than later. In the meantime, hang in there or should I say run in there. :)

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