For the past week, I've been wrestling with a personal conflict that has had me emotionally and mentally wraught.
I don't mean to "vague blog," but I cannot openly discuss the particulars of this because the public blogosphere is not the place, but don't worry, everything is fine in my immediate family: Jerry's cool, kids are cool, Scooter's a fat turd, but he's cool too.
Anyhoo, I have been churning a lot of things over in my mind, many of which I thought that I had already "gotten over" -- either through time, maturity, or by running it all out -- but, it turns out that the intensity of my reaction to this recent conflict has revealed some distasteful aspects of myself and my feelings about issues that I thought I had long ago leg wrestled and won. I've thus realized this past week that I have some work to do for myself and that, perhaps, some mental and emotional hurdles require lifelong attention.
Running, then, has been a valuable companion this past week. Despite my emotional baggage, my runs have been a way to "lighten" my load. It has been an outlet for anger that I didn't know was broiling just beneath my surface, and the result has produced has some very satisfying runs: Mentally, but also physically, and I've run some of the fastest runs that I've logged all year. And, man, have they felt good.
Certainly, running can't replace the valuable talks and insights I've gained through my supportive spouse, my brother, and a few close friends, but it has been a great means to converse with myself. Running alone doesn't solve everything, but it sure does help.