TAT CN Header

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

On Boston

Last night, after dinner, after the kids had been bathed, the dog fed, the kitchen cleaned, and everyone settled in for the evening, I changed into my running clothes as I do every evening at this time.  And, I sat on the kids' step stool in the bathroom to lace up my shoes, and for some reason, that act of lacing up my shoes brought me to tears.

So, I sat on the step stool and cried.  Just for a moment.  Long enough to use up the tears that swept over me, but not so long as to dwell with them.

Then, I finished lacing up my shoes and I went out and ran.

It was nothing special: A 3 mile route that I run nearly everyday.  I didn't run fast.  I didn't have any earth-shattering epiphany.  I didn't completely resolve any feelings of grief, fear, despair, frustration, or sadness.  I didn't have any newfound faith in humanity or any restoration of the power of good or heroism.

When I got back, the world was still the same place it had been when I'd set out.  It was no different and neither was I.  But.

I felt better.

And so we run. 

Maybe away.  Maybe toward.

As Tim O'Brien says at the end of his story, "The Things They Carried," "[Our] loads will be heavier" but, we find the strength to "carry on."

Run on, friends, run on.

5 comments:

Jamoosh said...

The power of the run - enough said.

Nikki Scott said...

This is probably my favorite Boston post of all the bloggers I read. Thank you.

Erika . . . with a K said...

Holy shit you said exactly what I felt. When words mean nothing..., just keep on running.

Krissy said...

So very true, I had a masters swim practice last night that I didn't realize how much I needed until I came home. I just felt like for that hour and half of swimming hard I cleared my mind for the moment and boy did I need that. Today I go out and run for the first time since the events that unfolded on Tuesday in Boston. We just need to keep on keeping on.

Katie Swenson said...

So well said. I run to escape. It is the best therapy ever