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Monday, January 16, 2012

Rumination

First of all, thank you for so many kind, thoughtful comments about my decision to retire the blog.  The comments some of you made honestly made me tear up, and it's a great feeling to know that this blog has been so meaningful to readers and that it will be missed.

Your comments were so moving, that I'll be honest: You filled me with self-doubt about this carefully considered decision, and all weekend, I wrestled with the should-I-stay-or-should-I-go dilemma.  Jerry was no help in figuring it out (in fact, when I'd discussed my decision to quit blogging a few weeks before I announced it on Friday, his only response was: "I've heard you say that before"), telling me only: "The blog is yours; this is YOUR decision."

Ah, shark farts, why couldn't I have a husband who just told me what to do?!  It'd require a lot less thinking on my part...

...in the end, I decided to make myself an old-fashioned pro and con list.  I'd made several mental lists before posting Friday's post about #2000, but I hadn't sat down with a concrete list to help me perhaps make a more rational decision.  Here, I'll show you what that list looked like:

Pro Blogging:
1.  I like it.
2.  It gives me a near-daily writing outlet.
3.  I like having a concrete sense of readers and commenters.  That makes the writing feel satisfying.
4.  I like the people who blog and who comment here.
5.  Some bloggers have been my "friends" for years, and I'd hate to lose that part of our connection.
6.  It gives me a way to provide a record of the kids' childhoods.
7.  It gives my running accountability.
8.  It challenges me: In my running and in my writing.

Con Blogging:
1.  Sometimes, I don't like it: It can feel like an obligation.
2.  I have wondered over the years if because I blog, and it helps fulfill some sense that I'm writing, that it keeps me from truly pursuing writing.
3.  Readers and commenters have been dwindling in the last few years.  According to analytic data, this blog peaked about 3 years ago in readership.
4.  It sucks to know that the blog's popularity has declined in the past 3 years, but you know what else declined in the last 3 years?  My spare time, and thus the time I used to take to read others' blogs and cultivate the blog-relationships it takes to maintain high readership.
5.  Many of my blog friends are now also my friends on FB and DailyMile, so I know that leaving here won't mean that I'll lose those contacts (and if you're not my friend on either of those sites, you CAN be!  email me: tygress422 at yahoo dot com and I'll totally friend you if you promise not to ax-murder me in my sleep).
6.  The blog is in desperate need of a makeover.  The whole appearance needs to be re-done, but re-vamping the site feels overwhelming.  And, then there are all the questions of...should I even stay with Blogger?  Or move to Wordpress or Google+?
7.  I can keep other records of the kids' childhoods without them being a public record.  I sometimes fret over the kids' lack of privacy.
8.  Through other mediums (DailyMile, for instance), my running can still maintain its accountability, so I don't need the blog to do that anymore.

Ugh...the totals came out even!  Don't you hate it when that happens?

So, what did I decide about the ultimate fate of the blog?

Well, I thought about sadistically keeping you in suspense.  But that seemed mean, so I'll tell you now:

It's still BUH-bye.

For now.  Perhaps I will be back after some time off, or perhaps I'll just periodically check in, I don't know, but for now, I definitely need the time away if, for no other reason, than to perhaps give myself enough time to miss it.

Goodbye won't be until this upcoming Saturday, the 21st -- as promised -- so stick around this week for the reminiscing. 

19 comments:

JojaJogger said...

Sorry to see the blog go, but I'll be looking forward to buying a book or two of yours in the bookstore in a couple of years (how's that for pressure?) All the best to you and yours.

James said...

It sounds like you've really struggled with the decision. I'm sure all your followers will appreciate knowing you care. I agree with Joja, maybe this will give you the opportunity to expand your writing. Good luck in the future. I'm not on Daily Mile or else I'd add you.

Lily on the Road said...

All good points on the pro's and con's. However, before you take the Golden Walk away from blogland, could I perhaps recommend a wee a Hiatus?

I know, I know, you've made your decision, but honestly, I took a long time away from blogging and have come back a little more refreshed and updated. Or perhaps, as time permits, once the kiddies are older you can start afresh.

We will continue to stay in touch on FB and Dailymile, but I will truly miss the pictures of the wee ones, as their antics really make me smile broadly and even at times laugh right out loud.

Charbelle said...

You know you can always take a few weeks off here and there. It sounds like you write for you, and you like having a place to record your thoughts. Just because someone I follow doesn't post as often doesn't mean I stop following them. Life happens and time is limited!! I will miss you very much!!!

Agate Lake Girl said...

I have many of those same pros and cons. It's a tough decision for sure!

Lee said...

I'm adding you on facebook!

Wes said...

well. it is all about you. my moto is: if it ain't fun, don't do it.

The Faux Foodie said...

Oh no, so sad to see you go, especially since I just recently discovered your blog and to find out there is another blogger in my neighborhood (I am in Pembroke Pines, close enough) was even more fun. I was always hoping to "run" in you on my AM runs. I love reading your blog and know that you will be missed.
I have an 8 month old daughter so it was always good to get a perspective on motherhood, working and exercising!!!!!
Still it's your blog, your decision, but please know that it's a great blog!

Marlene said...

Didn't read the #2000 post yet (catching up, took a few days off blogging) so I will get to that next - but I definitely respect this decision.

I totally get the obligation thing. As much as I love it, mine has been feeling a lot like that lately while I am busy with other things. And trying to keep up with everyone else and do my fair share of reading/commenting can get stressful, while I do enjoy that part too! Oy!

Marlene said...

Added you on DailyMile!

Anonymous said...

Sad to see you go! I've been reading for a long time. I just don't comment much. But I love to come and read your posts. They are funny! I'll add you on FB. Take care!
-Karen

Viper said...

I know exactly how you feel about how blogging gives that daily outlet to write, but also holds you back from writing something that will be somehow more meaningful. I hope that you'll find time to write in blog retirement. Cheers!

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

I can understand all those pros and cons. To be honest, I've thought about the #2 con myself. With a likely life change approaching that would allow me more "free" time I have wondered if blogging would keep me from actually doing more serious writing. Knowing your talent I wouldn't want you to miss an opportunity so a see you later is probably a good thing BUT I know you'll miss us even if we email, FB and DM. We are a great group! So I know that the 21st won't be it, the end, goodbye. It will only be a pause long enough for you to remember how much you love being here and taking part in this world.
Who knows? When you are rested up and ready to jump back in I bet you'll have some serious adventures to share with us.


p.s. FB isn't the same. Even emailing isn't. I feel inspired by how you write.

Jamoosh said...

I am going start using the term "shark farts" after the 21st.

Krissy said...

I will have to check you out on DailyMile because I like when I read you squeezed in a run and I need to get my butt out there too! Still sad to here "bye" though!

Kayla said...

Sad to see you stop blogging, but I understand it as well! It's a tough decision, but its also one that you obviously did not take lightly and I think everyone understands!

SavvyFitChica said...

I completely agree w/ you- blogging was a big part of my life for a while but I'm just not into it anymore. I rarely ever comment.

I will be sorry to see you go but we're friends on Facebook, which I'm pretty sure solidifies our friendship in this world :)

Sarah said...

Such a well-written post. Sounds like you've made the right decision, even though I will miss your blog. It was the first I ever read, albeit pretty late in the game. I started reading about a year and a half ago after googling 'running while pregnant'. I have loved reading about you and your family, especially since your children are both the same age as mine.

Your blog has introduced me to the blogging world. So, a big thank you for that! Your posts were always so well-written and entertaining. So much better than a lot of the 'big' blogs out there.

I wish you and your family the very best :)

H. said...

Oh no! Sad! I understand your decision, but I'll miss you! You were one of 4 blogs I read on a regular basis and can relate to! Goodbye! Take care!!