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Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Hump Day

I had a series of frustrating events this morning.  I was trying to accomplish a few things on my "to-do" list and nothing was coming together as smoothly or as easily as I wanted.

Then, I realized Caleb was being really quiet...

...Shitballs!

I found him, hiding under a blanket, painting his fingernails AND the carpet with blue nail polish.

As I did my best to try to clean the paint out of the carpet, I heard rustling in the pantry, so I leave the nail polish remover and the BLUE STAIN to investigate.


I find the kids shoving Oreos in their mouths.  Cookie crumbs all over their cheeks, the package emptied.

I'm throwing the purloined cookie packaging away when I felt the distinct, early rumblings of a fart.

But, my butt had a different thought.  

Annnnnddd...that's when I sharted.

Blue paint in the carpet, two sugared kids, and shitty, ruined underwear.  
 
Nice.  
 
That's exactly how I was hoping a Wednesday would go.

Thankfully, there was one thing that could salvage the day and my sanity. 

"Alcohol?"  You ask.

That too could work.

Instead, I got a movie going for the kids and hit the treadmill for a midday run.  5.5 miles later, I felt less stabby.  The carpet was (and is) still blue, and nothing was gonna resurrect those shitty undies, but the day felt salvaged.

Ahhhhh...

7 comments:

Turi Becker said...

Wow. That's a hell of a day. Good call on going for a run to blow off steam.

Julie D said...

Definitely gotta put those polishes away! =P

Running Mom said...

I've had days like that... nice save!

Laura Rivera said...

Ahhh, thanks for the best laugh I've had in awhile. I did not see the shart coming...and neither did you, I guess. Hope you had a better Thursday and not a Turdsay.

Agate Lake Girl said...

Oh my! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh my! You just made me laugh out loud at work. Your day sounds like EVERY. SINGLE. SATURDAY. for me. Love reading your blog!

essaykings.co.uk said...

Nice to hear, a savaged mom! We can never predict sad consequences of a childish creativity)