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Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Hump Day

I had a series of frustrating events this morning.  I was trying to accomplish a few things on my "to-do" list and nothing was coming together as smoothly or as easily as I wanted.

Then, I realized Caleb was being really quiet...

...Shitballs!

I found him, hiding under a blanket, painting his fingernails AND the carpet with blue nail polish.

As I did my best to try to clean the paint out of the carpet, I heard rustling in the pantry, so I leave the nail polish remover and the BLUE STAIN to investigate.


I find the kids shoving Oreos in their mouths.  Cookie crumbs all over their cheeks, the package emptied.

I'm throwing the purloined cookie packaging away when I felt the distinct, early rumblings of a fart.

But, my butt had a different thought.  

Annnnnddd...that's when I sharted.

Blue paint in the carpet, two sugared kids, and shitty, ruined underwear.  
 
Nice.  
 
That's exactly how I was hoping a Wednesday would go.

Thankfully, there was one thing that could salvage the day and my sanity. 

"Alcohol?"  You ask.

That too could work.

Instead, I got a movie going for the kids and hit the treadmill for a midday run.  5.5 miles later, I felt less stabby.  The carpet was (and is) still blue, and nothing was gonna resurrect those shitty undies, but the day felt salvaged.

Ahhhhh...

6 comments:

Turi Becker said...

Wow. That's a hell of a day. Good call on going for a run to blow off steam.

Julie D said...

Definitely gotta put those polishes away! =P

Running Mom said...

I've had days like that... nice save!

Laura Rivera said...

Ahhh, thanks for the best laugh I've had in awhile. I did not see the shart coming...and neither did you, I guess. Hope you had a better Thursday and not a Turdsay.

Agate Lake Girl said...

Oh my! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh my! You just made me laugh out loud at work. Your day sounds like EVERY. SINGLE. SATURDAY. for me. Love reading your blog!