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Thursday, December 14, 2006

The 20 That Didn't Happen

This morning, I started out ready for the 20, nervous, but ready. I got on the road at 5 am, just like I'd planned and was fine, but then my stomach was doing this gurgle-gurgle thing in the first mile. At the end of the second mile it was doing this flip-flop thing that signals breakfast is on its way back up. I stopped, leaned over and waited for the barf, but it didn't come. It's been awhile since barfing and running have gone hand in hand, so this was curious.

I started to trot again but my stomach was seriously icky, and then, as if God agreed, the heavens opened up and it started to rain. At first it was a drizzle, then it was a downpour. I turned around and headed home feeling both naseous and defeated.

Total miles: 4.

I feel like poop about it. All kinds of doubt and uncertainty are clogging my brain right now: Can I do this marathon? Am I capable? What does it mean to miss the 20? I've heard many declare that they were unable to run their 20, but were fine; however, I feel like I've missed so many runs in the course of my training, will I be fine?

Good lord, this week has really raked me over the emotional and mental coals.

9 comments:

Ryan said...

Sometimes Jesus doesn't want you to run. You never know, by making the rain and the grumbly tummy happen he could have saved you from getting run over by a rabid cow down in Davie.

neese said...

completely understandable to feel like poop about it, but jess you will be SO fine and ready for this marathon, you will! just do your best from here on out to keep on running when you can. (ofcourse i've never run a marathon, and this is just my opinion, hopefully others with more experience will come along)

Erin said...

I think you will be ok after missing today. The sheer adrenaline and excitement will carry you. Just don't slack on your vacation or on Friday, get up and start running. Jerry will pick you up on the way out of town!

For the way it was raining today, it was a safety hazard. You would have had to swim across some intersections. If you feel that guilty about it, try heading out this evening if it ever quits raining BUT wait until traffic dies down. The roads are going to be a mess.

brunettechicagogal said...

Jess, do you have someone to run with? There's no way I could get through more than, say, 14 miles by myself. I never did any of my 20s alone. See if someone else who's training can run it with you. It's so hard emotionally, mentally and physically; you need some support out there. You can do it!

Jess said...

Ryan: I did not hear of this rabid cow -- good thing cows move slowly.

Neese: Thanks for the encouragement.

Erin: The rain has been unbelievable today! It's like a hurricane or tropical storm. I drove through some "puddles" today that were the size of Lake Bemidji!

BC: No, I don't have anyone to run with. Solo is definitely tough -- I couldn't have anticipated it to be so difficult to run that far alone. I think if I do another marathon, I will join a runner's club, and depend on them to help me through the long runs.

justjunebug said...

well, i have never run a full marathon (yet), but mine is only 4 weeks away.

i hope that my comments dont discourage you, but i feel like i should say what i think.

personally from my group and coach and friends that have run more than 1, say that the first is the hardest of course and without that long run its TOUGH TOUGH TOUGH. i dont recall what your long runs have been or how many of those you have done.

i have done 18. once and 17 once and this weekend another 17...then my 21 next weekend. if for some reason i had to miss the 21 and couldnt make it up the following weekend (2 weeks out), then i would drop to the half but thats me.

yes there is adrenaline and excitement but i dont think that would be enough for another 9 miles to be completely honest. again this is JUST my thoughts and what i would do.

i still have my doubts about the last 5 even after a long run of 21, but thats just nerves for me i think.

whatever your decision you will make the right one FOR YOU.

hey lance armstrong did it... :O)

teacherwoman said...

I am sure it will all work out in the end! Keep up the positive thoughts. Enjoy your trip to the midwest!

P.S. Maybe you can help me with a problem... I switched to Blogger beta and now am not able to see my blog at all! I can still post and all that fun stuff, but cannot see anything. Any suggestions?

Firefly's Running said...

Hang in there. It's best to fuel up really good for that big run. Try it again it again over the weekend. You still have time.

bluegecko said...

I just finished my second marathon and have run about 6 half marathons. I have a third marathon planned for March. In my opinion, running 20 miles by yourself is much harder than running 26 miles in a marathon.

Also, I met this lady waiting for the porta-pottie before my first half marathon. She had run several marathons...so to me she was an expert to me. She said that she never runs over three hours during training runs because it is too hard for your body to recover. I always took that as gospel (people who you meet by the potties at a race always have the best advice) and have kept my longest long runs to only three hours of running (I walk the remainder of the 20 miles).

I'm not a fast runner and my time isn't great, but I am 45, have never had a running injury, and I always have fun at races. Isn't that why you are doing it? I see so many people who do 4 hour marathons and then never run again because they hated it. What a shame. I'm going to be that 84 year old woman who wins the age group because there aren't any others in the 80 - 85 age group. 45 - 50 age group is way too competative. I just like to run.

You'll do the marathon, and it will be tough. You probably won't get the finish time you hope for and when you finish you probably won't be able to lift your legs high enough to step over doorsills because they will be so sore....they call that the marathon shuffle...everyone will be doing it. But, you will have an idea of how that distance feels and you can make a plan to get a better time at the next race.

Have you done a half marathon before? They are fun because they are a definite challenge, but you aren't so sore afterwards. It would give you an idea of what a marathon will feel like as far as crowds and adenaline. Does the race in January have a half you can switch to? I've been reading your blog for a few weeks and It seems like running has gotten to be a chore...cutting back on your aspiration (or putting it off a little) might make running fun again.