Hump Day

I had a series of frustrating events this morning.  I was trying to accomplish a few things on my "to-do" list and nothing was coming together as smoothly or as easily as I wanted.

Then, I realized Caleb was being really quiet...

...Shitballs!

I found him, hiding under a blanket, painting his fingernails AND the carpet with blue nail polish.

As I did my best to try to clean the paint out of the carpet, I heard rustling in the pantry, so I leave the nail polish remover and the BLUE STAIN to investigate.

I find the kids shoving Oreos in their mouths.  Cookie crumbs all over their cheeks, the package emptied.

I'm throwing the purloined cookie packaging away when I felt the distinct, early rumblings of a fart.

But, my butt had a different thought.  

Annnnnddd...that's when I sharted.

Blue paint in the carpet, two sugared kids, and shitty, ruined underwear.  

 

Nice.  

 

That's exactly how I was hoping a Wednesday would go.

Thankfully, there was one thing that could salvage the day and my sanity. 

"Alcohol?"  You ask.

That too could work.

Instead, I got a movie going for the kids and hit the treadmill for a midday run.  5.5 miles later, I felt less stabby.  The carpet was (and is) still blue, and nothing was gonna resurrect those shitty undies, but the day felt salvaged.

Ahhhhh...