We finished our second quarter of league last week in 29th place. Out of 36 teams. It's not last place, but it's close enough.
In the past two months, our team's bowling has plummetted. And the reason? I'm not drinking. Seriously, that's the only conclusion I can draw. If Jess doesn't drink, the team goes downhill.
Now, I wish I could remedy this with a hearty bucket of Bud Light for tonight's bowling, but unless I want my un-born child to have FAS and later answer his or her questions about why mommy loved beer more than his or her fetal development, then we will have to figure out a new way for us to win. Logically, just because I'm not drinking it doesn't mean that the others on the team can't drink (in fact, you'd think Jerry would be hittin' the sauce extra hard since he has a guaranteed sober cab), but for some reason, without me pounding down the beers, I've found my team's liquor performance (and bar tab) to be dismal.
So, for tonight, it's a fresh start for us as a team. New quarter, new chance to kick ass! And I'm sure that both the bartender and the waitress (both of whom's income has suffered some since our team's drinking decline) are with me when I say to my teammates: Don't be pussies! Order beer! We need a win, dammit!
As for me, I'll be drinking water. Whooppee!
Enjoy the water! Good luck with a new quarter!
ReplyDeleteaw you have a great crew!they commiserate! :)
ReplyDeleteShit! I need to get my head out of my ass.
ReplyDeleteCongrats!!!!!
lol!
ReplyDeletei agree--the few times I've bowled, the was lots of liquor! Best of luck to your team!
Your team needs to man up. You're making a whole new person and bowling at the same time, the least they can do is drink their faces off to support the team!
ReplyDeleteEvery group needs a ring-leader.
ReplyDeleteIt is going to be a whole new experience bowling without beer. Ah, you'll do great and have fun.
ReplyDeleteSee, that's why I don't have kids! :o)
ReplyDeleteHow funny! I was going to ask you about this and sure enough, here's a post! I'm sorry...but hey, this should make you feel pretty good- you're the life of the party and when you're having a drunken good time, others can't help but do the same!!! You're a LEADER! ha ha!
ReplyDeleteOh, come on girl, go wild - at least have a lemonade or something. LOL
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have to force feed the rest of your team beer
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can bowel granny style - that always helped me.
ReplyDeleteThe water will be a good change. We could all drink a bit more water. I'm sorry that your bowling team has had to suffer because of it though.
ReplyDeleteDude, I wish I was there to pick up your end of the beer consumption. I CAN DO IT! I'M QUALIFIED DAMMIT! Now where are my shoes I lost my phone...
ReplyDeleteI know its ok to run when pregnant, but bowl? Hmm....
ReplyDeleteI hope you checked with with your doctor about that first ;)
On your small frame, I wonder how long it will be before it looks like you have a bowling ball under your shirt? :)
ReplyDeleteHa! That is funny. I think I always bowl better with a little beer in me. Pull out the near beer and see if that perks the team up.
ReplyDeleteIt's a sad state of affairs when you have to twist those guys arms to drink!
ReplyDeleteThose teammates of yours owe it to you to pick up the slack!
ReplyDeleteI think your teammates should agree to drink your usual share of the beer...there's a certain karma in that isn't there?
ReplyDeleteBTW...if you ever get desperate (I did) O'Douls (non-alcoholic beer) isn't too bad.
Hahaha good luck with the new quarter! I hope your teammates pick up the drinking slack.
ReplyDeleteJust go over to Viper's page and read a couple posts. The alcohol coming off his words and breath should get you buzzing at least a bit.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh but water is so good! OK so it's not the same as alcohol . . .
ReplyDeleteLOL@ their income has suffered! Halrious post Jess! Hope you all have a better season even with you sober.
ReplyDeleteLOL this is my greatest fear about future pregnancy! I'm scared to have kids and have to give up wine. Sad, huh? :)
ReplyDeleteI think I bowl best with about 3 to 5 beers in me - anything less, and it just falls apart. Anything more, and I start dropping the ball on my feet. Have fun!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could, oh, I don't know, hand them the beer and stare at them until they drink! Lame, I know, but its worth a try!
ReplyDeleteSo what you're saying is that you are the drinking enabler! I love it. Its funny... over the holidays we had a millions parties to go to and I was obviously the DD... so I encouraged to Kevin to light it up and have a good time... and he'd end up barely drinking. Strange!
ReplyDeleteTaking one for the team, U go tot luv it. I think I'll go get a beer right now! Ha, you have the weather but I have the beer!
ReplyDeleteGosh, you are going to get really popular really fast being a default Designated Driver!!
ReplyDeletehello there, I stumbled across your blog...
ReplyDeleteLove it.
I ran while pregnant with both of my daughters. I usually stayed on the treadmill in fear of being out in the middle of no where and having something happen. Are you training for anything while preg or just running to keep running? I tried to train for the Salt Lake City marathon with my sec but man, I got the morning sickness so bad with her. Good luck.
It's sad that your bowling will suffer for another nine months, but here's the "here, here" to your "stop being pussies" cheer. Erm ... Cheers.
ReplyDeleteI know it's gross, but what about non-alcoholic beer?
ReplyDelete